Being that I am completely indecisive when it comes to picking one of anything, it would be impossible for me to choose one single resolution, therefore I’ve decided to list my top ten. This way I don’t have to drown in the pressure of succumbing to a single concept nor do I feel like a failure if I decide to suddenly kick one of them to the wind and focus more on the next. I make changes all year round in a disorganized and spontaneous fashion, so I’m not even a prime candidate for this whole resolution thing, but what the hell. It’s a new year and I have officially made it into 2012 a better person than I was in 2011, I still have all my limbs, a big healthy heart, and a happy mood that swings my soul---and while I’ll drink to that alone, there’s always room for more improvements in my life. So here goes!
1.) I am no longer going to buy shoes that I do not need simply because they’re cute and make a fashion statement. (I already know that this will be the first one to fly out the window. I will be full of excuses) I should just delete this.
2.) I will pick up my shoes rather than have them scattered in piles by every doorway. My husband will have less injuries and I will be able to better locate them if I put them away.
3.) No more ice cream unless it’s organic and dairy free. I am eating french silk ice cream as I type this and I have exactly 29 hours to finish off this gallon before 2012 hits. Geeeeeeezzzz better get one more helping.
4.) I will limit my mid-day coffee purchases to once a week. Honestly. Should a 12 oz. white mocha latte really cost $5? I think NOT. I will no longer support this.
5.) I will, without doubt, start writing a book before Spring. I must must must follow through on this.
6.) I will stop complaining about how much I despise my hair and instead feel thankful that I at least have hair. If anyone catches me complaining about it I will give them permission to chop it off. (There may be exceptions to this, but as of now this is my resolution)
7.) I will learn how to make spanikopita. I have been wanting to make this for years and damn it, 2012 is going to be the YEAR!
8.) I must. I must. I must increase my bust. If my boobie meditations don’t pan out than I’m going to pay for some. I have wanted boobs since I was 11 and am still waiting for them to grow....
9.) Go to yoga! This year I am going to do yoga. I have always wanted to and I don’t know what I’m waiting for!
10.) Love more. If I ever catch myself being critical towards myself or another person I’m going to “flip it” and instead say something positive. Life is too short for negative energy. We need to love each other more.
I am going to print this out and hang it by my mirror and really try to accomplish all these things! Then I’m going to browse the shoes on zappos and see if I can’t find a couple more pairs before 2012 hits. Clock is ticking....
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Because "One of these days" may never come....
I just came across this poem on a holistic website and felt obligated to share. You'll understand why as you read it yourself. Enjoy :)
"Think it Over" (Ron Bird)
Today we have higher buildings and wider highways
But shorter temperaments and narrower points of view.
We spend more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses, but smaller families.
We have more compromises, but less time.
We have more knowledge, but less judgement.
We have more medicines, but less health.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk much, we love only a little, and we hate too much.
We reached the Moon and came back, but
we find it troublesome to cross our own street and meet our neighbors.
We have conquered the outer space, but not our inner space.
We have higher income, but fewer morals
These are times with more liberty, but less joy.
We have much more food, but less nutrition.
These are the days, in which it takes two incomes for each home,
but divorces increase.
These are times of finer houses, but more broken homes.
THAT IS WHY I PROPOSE, THAT AS OF TODAY,
You do not keep anything for a special occasion, because
everyday that you live is a SPECIAL OCCASION.
Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch
and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.
Spend more time with your family and friends,
eat your favorite foods,
visit the places you love.
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment;
Not only about survival.
Use your crystal goblets.
Do not save your best perfume,
And use it every time you feel you want it.
Remove from your vocabulary phrases like "one of these day"
And "someday".
Let's write that letter we thought of writing "one of these days".
Let's tell our families and friends how much we love them.
Do not delay anything that adds laughter and joy to your life.
Every day, every hour and every minute is special.
And you don't know if it will be your last.
If you're too busy to take the time to send this message to
someone you love and you tell yourself you will send it "one of these days".
Just think .......... "One of these days"
"Think it Over" (Ron Bird)
Today we have higher buildings and wider highways
But shorter temperaments and narrower points of view.
We spend more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses, but smaller families.
We have more compromises, but less time.
We have more knowledge, but less judgement.
We have more medicines, but less health.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk much, we love only a little, and we hate too much.
We reached the Moon and came back, but
we find it troublesome to cross our own street and meet our neighbors.
We have conquered the outer space, but not our inner space.
We have higher income, but fewer morals
These are times with more liberty, but less joy.
We have much more food, but less nutrition.
These are the days, in which it takes two incomes for each home,
but divorces increase.
These are times of finer houses, but more broken homes.
THAT IS WHY I PROPOSE, THAT AS OF TODAY,
You do not keep anything for a special occasion, because
everyday that you live is a SPECIAL OCCASION.
Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch
and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.
Spend more time with your family and friends,
eat your favorite foods,
visit the places you love.
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment;
Not only about survival.
Use your crystal goblets.
Do not save your best perfume,
And use it every time you feel you want it.
Remove from your vocabulary phrases like "one of these day"
And "someday".
Let's write that letter we thought of writing "one of these days".
Let's tell our families and friends how much we love them.
Do not delay anything that adds laughter and joy to your life.
Every day, every hour and every minute is special.
And you don't know if it will be your last.
If you're too busy to take the time to send this message to
someone you love and you tell yourself you will send it "one of these days".
Just think .......... "One of these days"
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Daytime televison: a plethora of information.
Being a full time employee I am very rarely (or never) home on a random week day to watch television “day time” style. I had no idea how many talk shows were on, but I got sucked into a few this week and I have to admit... a lot can be learned (I’m not talking Jerry Springer garbage or the never ending paternity drama with Maury Povich- does anyone even care who the daddy is?). So anyways, thought I’d share a few things I learned during the afternoon hours:
1.) Unless you can become at peace with yourself, you can never truly forgive anyone else. You cannot give away what you yourself do not possess. ~ Dr. Phil
2.) Eating fresh figs and dried cherries helps reduce seasonal affects disorder. So does a $90 light therapy lamp that I’m considering purchasing now thanks to Dr. Oz.
3.) Simply hugging your spouse for 3 minutes can save your sexless marriage. I know, WTF right? The couple on Dr. Drew said it worked for them. Ha!
4.) Emeril Lagasse said non-stick cookware is the only way to go. Apparently if you have a non-stick pan you use 3/4 less oil when cooking. Who knew?
5.) The bones in our legs are slightly hollow and that is how blood passes through into the veins of our feet. Clogged arteries and bad health lead to clots that prevent the blood from flowing properly and if your toes swell or no hair grows on your feet your health is in jeopardy. Damn that Dr. Oz knows some crazy shit...
6.)When you live a life that has you ignoring your true gifts and talents while performing assigned or inherited roles instead, you are living as your fictional self. ~ Dr. Phil
*Proud to say I am non-fiction to the core :)
7.) Cumin is the best spice you can use in cooking according to Emeril. I have some and just sniffed it and went "aaahhhh."
8.) “You can’t wear white after labor day” is BS according to Dr. Oz! (And me) It’s an old rule that people need to throw away! Wearing yellow/white/red are proven to make people feel happier, especially in Winter.
9.) You CAN pop pimples as long as you sterilize a needle to poke it and squeeze out the pus. Ick! Dr. Oz also has a really goofy looking exercise that can tighten your saggy neck. Will not be trying that...
10.) This decadent chocolate Fix is supposed to take away a crabby mood and make you happy:
Ingredients:
6 dates
1/2 avocado
4 tbsp high quality cocoa
1-2 tsp water (optional)
Directions
Place all ingredients in a food processor and purée until smooth. Add 1-2 tsp of water if mixture is not blending.
*I think I’ll have to try this sometime just because the ingredients are so random and I love using my new food processor! Maybe I’ll try it when I’m super bitchy or PMSing to see if it actually works ;)
11.) There is an actual place for women to go called “Tantrum Camp” where they release their anger by throwing tomatoes at walls, screaming, and writing down all the things that piss them off and tossing the pieces of paper into flames. Sign me up!
12.) Jillian Michaels says that when you’re stressed out sometimes you just need to cry to release it, or laugh. (Um....no shit?)
13.) Dr. Travis Stork says that stress is our brain signaling to our body that we need adrenaline. All we have to do is quiet our mind and take some deep breaths to feel at ease again. That isn’t “breaking news” or anything, but he’s kind of cute so I listened more closely :)
14.) When your expectations for life do not match your reality know that you are the writer, director, and choreographer of your own life and you can redirect it at any moment. Take control of your own destiny! **I have grabbed the reins and am headed to Fiji! (I wish....pick me up Santa?)
15.) I learned that there are far too many commercials during daytime television and an obscene amount of prescription drug advertising. No wonder we are being called “prozac nation.”
16.) Many energy drinks contain at least double of the amount of sugar you are supposed to receive in an entire day. Long term results can be depression and weight gain. Hello?! We already know this right? Please say yes.
17.) Dr. Oz says to take short luke-warm showers instead of long hot ones because it strips away your natural protective oils and it’s better for your skin. Boohoo for me! I like me a nice scalding hot jacuzzi since I’m a freeze baby. Sorry, but I can’t give that up. I’ll just get some really really good lotion.
18.) Fermented foods are very good for your health, especially fermented soy beans. They are sold on Japanese markets and believed to slow the aging process. Pass the beans please!
19.) Richard Simmons is still alive and kickin’ and still crazy as all get up.
20.) Grilled octopus salad is beneficial to your heart and mind. Um..., I can’t see myself slicing up tentacles. I’ll stick with my tofu thank-you.
So there ya have it guys, a random mix of daytime television knowledge! Us full time employees sure do miss a lot of info during the work week!
1.) Unless you can become at peace with yourself, you can never truly forgive anyone else. You cannot give away what you yourself do not possess. ~ Dr. Phil
2.) Eating fresh figs and dried cherries helps reduce seasonal affects disorder. So does a $90 light therapy lamp that I’m considering purchasing now thanks to Dr. Oz.
3.) Simply hugging your spouse for 3 minutes can save your sexless marriage. I know, WTF right? The couple on Dr. Drew said it worked for them. Ha!
4.) Emeril Lagasse said non-stick cookware is the only way to go. Apparently if you have a non-stick pan you use 3/4 less oil when cooking. Who knew?
5.) The bones in our legs are slightly hollow and that is how blood passes through into the veins of our feet. Clogged arteries and bad health lead to clots that prevent the blood from flowing properly and if your toes swell or no hair grows on your feet your health is in jeopardy. Damn that Dr. Oz knows some crazy shit...
6.)When you live a life that has you ignoring your true gifts and talents while performing assigned or inherited roles instead, you are living as your fictional self. ~ Dr. Phil
*Proud to say I am non-fiction to the core :)
7.) Cumin is the best spice you can use in cooking according to Emeril. I have some and just sniffed it and went "aaahhhh."
8.) “You can’t wear white after labor day” is BS according to Dr. Oz! (And me) It’s an old rule that people need to throw away! Wearing yellow/white/red are proven to make people feel happier, especially in Winter.
9.) You CAN pop pimples as long as you sterilize a needle to poke it and squeeze out the pus. Ick! Dr. Oz also has a really goofy looking exercise that can tighten your saggy neck. Will not be trying that...
10.) This decadent chocolate Fix is supposed to take away a crabby mood and make you happy:
Ingredients:
6 dates
1/2 avocado
4 tbsp high quality cocoa
1-2 tsp water (optional)
Directions
Place all ingredients in a food processor and purée until smooth. Add 1-2 tsp of water if mixture is not blending.
*I think I’ll have to try this sometime just because the ingredients are so random and I love using my new food processor! Maybe I’ll try it when I’m super bitchy or PMSing to see if it actually works ;)
11.) There is an actual place for women to go called “Tantrum Camp” where they release their anger by throwing tomatoes at walls, screaming, and writing down all the things that piss them off and tossing the pieces of paper into flames. Sign me up!
12.) Jillian Michaels says that when you’re stressed out sometimes you just need to cry to release it, or laugh. (Um....no shit?)
13.) Dr. Travis Stork says that stress is our brain signaling to our body that we need adrenaline. All we have to do is quiet our mind and take some deep breaths to feel at ease again. That isn’t “breaking news” or anything, but he’s kind of cute so I listened more closely :)
14.) When your expectations for life do not match your reality know that you are the writer, director, and choreographer of your own life and you can redirect it at any moment. Take control of your own destiny! **I have grabbed the reins and am headed to Fiji! (I wish....pick me up Santa?)
15.) I learned that there are far too many commercials during daytime television and an obscene amount of prescription drug advertising. No wonder we are being called “prozac nation.”
16.) Many energy drinks contain at least double of the amount of sugar you are supposed to receive in an entire day. Long term results can be depression and weight gain. Hello?! We already know this right? Please say yes.
17.) Dr. Oz says to take short luke-warm showers instead of long hot ones because it strips away your natural protective oils and it’s better for your skin. Boohoo for me! I like me a nice scalding hot jacuzzi since I’m a freeze baby. Sorry, but I can’t give that up. I’ll just get some really really good lotion.
18.) Fermented foods are very good for your health, especially fermented soy beans. They are sold on Japanese markets and believed to slow the aging process. Pass the beans please!
19.) Richard Simmons is still alive and kickin’ and still crazy as all get up.
20.) Grilled octopus salad is beneficial to your heart and mind. Um..., I can’t see myself slicing up tentacles. I’ll stick with my tofu thank-you.
So there ya have it guys, a random mix of daytime television knowledge! Us full time employees sure do miss a lot of info during the work week!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
~What will Matter~
I'm a poet at heart and that's no secret. Sometimes words ring so true and hit so deep that I feel inspired to spread them. This poem in particular really reached into my soul and enlightened the core of all I've been learning lately. Of course I simply must share it's wisdom!
What Will Matter
By Michael Josephson
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to‐do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.
What will matter is not your memories
but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom, and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.
What Will Matter
By Michael Josephson
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to‐do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.
What will matter is not your memories
but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom, and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.
Friday, November 4, 2011
To someone in this world, I am TALL
So here I was walking down the condiment aisle at the grocery store, trying to justify the $9 price tag for organic syrup when this cute little voice behind me says “Excuse me Miss, but could I use your height to get something up high for me?” I looked to the left and then to the right, and then I realized she was indeed speaking to ME. She must have been mid 20-s, cute strawberry blonde, with a spritz of freckles on her nose, and she needed MY help. I have never ever in my entire life been called upon to reach anything that is high up. Ever.
“Yeah sure!” I beamed. Ha! Am I really tall? I was all ready to spin around and reach up for something, anything she wanted, but then she said, “Follow me, it’s in the freezer section.” You mean to tell me that this girl sought ME out for help to reach something?! The freezer section was like FOUR aisles over! There were people everywhere. I’m barely 5’7! I giddily strolled behind her, stretching my back up a little further and improving my posture, for I was now considered to be “tall” by someone. Would I even be able to reach this particular item? What could it be she needs? I was getting nervous...
We reach a freezer door of packaged vegetables and way in the back of the top row, there was one bag left of mixed peas, carrots, and broccoli and she said with a gentle point, “There. I need that bag of stir fry.” It was so far back that if I were to try and get it for myself, I probably would have just reached for another kind on a lower shelf. It looked impossible. BUT, I was TALL to this girl and my 4.5 inch heels were finally getting some credit other than being fashionable footwear. So I reached as far as my arm would stretch, and with one little hop upwards I grabbed it by the frozen corner. “YES!” she squealed,” Oh thank you so much, I knew you’d be able to reach it. You’re a life saver.” She happily bounced away with joy and I stood still and relished in my tallness.
I felt like a hero. A tall hero. I think I grew an inch with pride alone. My dream of being “tall” came true for a moment tonight in the grocery store. She will never know what that did for me. If I knew who in the hell she was I’d send her a thank you card.
Oh, and NEVER underestimate the power of high heeled footwear. Or perhaps I really AM going through a late growth spurt? One can dream! Think I’ll go look for the measuring tape...
“Yeah sure!” I beamed. Ha! Am I really tall? I was all ready to spin around and reach up for something, anything she wanted, but then she said, “Follow me, it’s in the freezer section.” You mean to tell me that this girl sought ME out for help to reach something?! The freezer section was like FOUR aisles over! There were people everywhere. I’m barely 5’7! I giddily strolled behind her, stretching my back up a little further and improving my posture, for I was now considered to be “tall” by someone. Would I even be able to reach this particular item? What could it be she needs? I was getting nervous...
We reach a freezer door of packaged vegetables and way in the back of the top row, there was one bag left of mixed peas, carrots, and broccoli and she said with a gentle point, “There. I need that bag of stir fry.” It was so far back that if I were to try and get it for myself, I probably would have just reached for another kind on a lower shelf. It looked impossible. BUT, I was TALL to this girl and my 4.5 inch heels were finally getting some credit other than being fashionable footwear. So I reached as far as my arm would stretch, and with one little hop upwards I grabbed it by the frozen corner. “YES!” she squealed,” Oh thank you so much, I knew you’d be able to reach it. You’re a life saver.” She happily bounced away with joy and I stood still and relished in my tallness.
I felt like a hero. A tall hero. I think I grew an inch with pride alone. My dream of being “tall” came true for a moment tonight in the grocery store. She will never know what that did for me. If I knew who in the hell she was I’d send her a thank you card.
Oh, and NEVER underestimate the power of high heeled footwear. Or perhaps I really AM going through a late growth spurt? One can dream! Think I’ll go look for the measuring tape...
Thursday, November 3, 2011
A little dream about a hugging machine~
Days like these (long, hard, stressful, rude, etc.) make me want to do nothing more than step out of the work place and head straight into a hugging machine. By hugging machine, I mean a “feel good” contraption that you can walk into like a tunnel and emerge feeling revived and appreciated. Random arms would reach out and hug you, hold you, maybe even caress your cheek a bit. Tiny sweet voices would whisper out in angelic harmony saying how absolutely fantastic you are and how you are one in a million and appreciated and brilliant. A sweet breeze of coconuts and cream would drift through the tunnel and wrap it’s lovely aroma around your hair. Maybe you’d get a few pats on the back, a couple high-fives and a gold medal would drape itself around your neck upon exiting quoting “You are LOVED.”
Because some days? I’m just not feeling the love, even though I know I deserve it. I’m not told how I’m appreciated, and instead feel taken for granted. I keep my head high while others bitch and whine. I wear a smile on my lips, confidence on my hips, and don’t get all boo-hooey just because I feel a little overwhelmed at the moment. And then there are days like today where my hard exterior seems to crack and slowly I begin to unravel...
I don’t get enough hugs as I deserve and for this reason, I want to create a hugging machine. This can be the go-to spot for a quick pick-me-up refresher when you feel exhausted,defeated, or unappreciated. When you feel like crawling into a hole, the hugging machine will save you, embrace you, and put the warmth back in your face and your heart back in it’s place.
OR on the other hand I would like to create an ass kicking machine that I could throw all the dick heads into that are responsible for my need for a hugging machine. You know, random punches and kicks would fly out at them and they would emerge a bloody mess. Ok, now I’m getting pissed again.
Back to the hugging machine idea....
Because some days? I’m just not feeling the love, even though I know I deserve it. I’m not told how I’m appreciated, and instead feel taken for granted. I keep my head high while others bitch and whine. I wear a smile on my lips, confidence on my hips, and don’t get all boo-hooey just because I feel a little overwhelmed at the moment. And then there are days like today where my hard exterior seems to crack and slowly I begin to unravel...
I don’t get enough hugs as I deserve and for this reason, I want to create a hugging machine. This can be the go-to spot for a quick pick-me-up refresher when you feel exhausted,defeated, or unappreciated. When you feel like crawling into a hole, the hugging machine will save you, embrace you, and put the warmth back in your face and your heart back in it’s place.
OR on the other hand I would like to create an ass kicking machine that I could throw all the dick heads into that are responsible for my need for a hugging machine. You know, random punches and kicks would fly out at them and they would emerge a bloody mess. Ok, now I’m getting pissed again.
Back to the hugging machine idea....
Friday, October 21, 2011
Facebook page: Keep it solo people
Relationships are beautiful and love is fabulous as we all know. It’s sweet when a couple is really endearing towards each other and I’m not even that opposed to some occasional PDA, however, I kind of cringe a little every time I see a facebook page that consist of not 1, but 2 people. I mean really? I just don’t get it!
Couples share things of course. A bed. A home. Children perhaps. Kisses and hugs are shared daily I’m sure, but is it really necessary to share a facebook page? I think not. It’s strange to me and makes me feel pity for those who deem this a good idea. It’s kind of “5th grade” if you will, and I’m sure there isn’t one person who sees a friend request from “Jane and Joe Smith” and thinks “Aww...how sweet being all united via facebook.”
A-hem. Keep some independence people! You don’t have to be THAT close and do EVERY thing together. You need to keep some things separate. Have your own individual hobbies and your own personal life. Just because your spouse is friends with someone, doesn’t mean you have to be. I automatically assume this joint facebook page thing either has to do with a jealous partner, or some untrustworthy companionship. It’s embarrassing really.
It also poses confusion. What if I have an all girl party and want to invite the female and not the male? I’m sure they don’t share the same birthday, so does the page get flooded with Happy Birthday wishes for one of you and not the other? Maybe I want to tag a photo but you’re both not in it. (Or wait, they probably are magnetically attached at the hip). Maybe I want to send a request to play a game of scrabble, but which one am I really playing with? And are they double teaming? No fair! I want to send HER a message not HIM, but how do I do that? You get my point....
Listen, some things you just DO NOT share: razors, toothbrushes, q-tips, and facebook pages. Be yourself a little bit instead of blending completely with your partner. I’m certain that your work, bio, and interests can NOT possibly be the same and if they are, well that’s freaky and you need therapy. Do you really want people to think “Oh, looks like Mary got herself into a controlling relationship again, can’t even have her own facebook page...” or “Who did Mike cheat with now that she doesn’t trust him?”
Be yourself. Stand proud. Branch out. Buck up. Make your own damn page. ‘Nuff said.
Couples share things of course. A bed. A home. Children perhaps. Kisses and hugs are shared daily I’m sure, but is it really necessary to share a facebook page? I think not. It’s strange to me and makes me feel pity for those who deem this a good idea. It’s kind of “5th grade” if you will, and I’m sure there isn’t one person who sees a friend request from “Jane and Joe Smith” and thinks “Aww...how sweet being all united via facebook.”
A-hem. Keep some independence people! You don’t have to be THAT close and do EVERY thing together. You need to keep some things separate. Have your own individual hobbies and your own personal life. Just because your spouse is friends with someone, doesn’t mean you have to be. I automatically assume this joint facebook page thing either has to do with a jealous partner, or some untrustworthy companionship. It’s embarrassing really.
It also poses confusion. What if I have an all girl party and want to invite the female and not the male? I’m sure they don’t share the same birthday, so does the page get flooded with Happy Birthday wishes for one of you and not the other? Maybe I want to tag a photo but you’re both not in it. (Or wait, they probably are magnetically attached at the hip). Maybe I want to send a request to play a game of scrabble, but which one am I really playing with? And are they double teaming? No fair! I want to send HER a message not HIM, but how do I do that? You get my point....
Listen, some things you just DO NOT share: razors, toothbrushes, q-tips, and facebook pages. Be yourself a little bit instead of blending completely with your partner. I’m certain that your work, bio, and interests can NOT possibly be the same and if they are, well that’s freaky and you need therapy. Do you really want people to think “Oh, looks like Mary got herself into a controlling relationship again, can’t even have her own facebook page...” or “Who did Mike cheat with now that she doesn’t trust him?”
Be yourself. Stand proud. Branch out. Buck up. Make your own damn page. ‘Nuff said.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Use your damn blinker
While there are many things that make me irritated by my fellow patrons of the road, one peeve in particular that almost 100% of the time will make my blood boil is people who do NOT use their blinker. I just don’t get it!
Today as I was at a stop sign there was a van coming from the left. I had planned to go right as indicated by my right blinker being ON. To the right of me was a girl running her dog, also stopped at the sign. The girl and I were waiting for the van to pass so she could cross the street with her dog, and then I would take my right turn. However instead of this occurrence, the van actually decreased in speed and took a left turn- no blinker of course. Had they indicated that they were going left with their blinker than the girl and I could have proceeded with our intended directions. This is what irritates the hell out of me. It’s pure idiocy.
People that do not use their blinkers are predisposing themselves to a barrage of stereotypes in my opinion. I automatically think that they are:
#1: LAZY. Lifting a finger to click on a blinker? Just too much to handle.
#2: SELFISH. If they know where they’re going that’s all that matters. Fuck everyone else.
#3: INCONSIDERATE: They don’t know these other people on the road so who cares how they feel about using my blinker or not.
#4: UNFOCUSED: What’s a blinker? Oh yeah I think I do recall learning about that in driver’s ed.
#5: STUPID
Yes I automatically assume that people who don’t use their blinkers have a low IQ as well as anger issues and a careless attitude towards others.
I would love nothing more than to have a mechanism built into cars to punish someone who didn’t use their blinker. If the car recognizes that the steering wheel has been turned fully around without a blinker having been on it would send a signal to the mechanism, triggering a response in the none-blinker-user’s car in which their steering wheel would then slide open to reveal a big red boxing glove that would spring out to punch them in the face. Just a nice quick punch to wake them up a bit and let them know they’re an asshole. Maybe the stereo would chime in with a little jingle about using your blinker. No really. I think this could fix the problem.
Be considerate of others on the road. Pay attention. Use your damn blinker. Nuff said.
Today as I was at a stop sign there was a van coming from the left. I had planned to go right as indicated by my right blinker being ON. To the right of me was a girl running her dog, also stopped at the sign. The girl and I were waiting for the van to pass so she could cross the street with her dog, and then I would take my right turn. However instead of this occurrence, the van actually decreased in speed and took a left turn- no blinker of course. Had they indicated that they were going left with their blinker than the girl and I could have proceeded with our intended directions. This is what irritates the hell out of me. It’s pure idiocy.
People that do not use their blinkers are predisposing themselves to a barrage of stereotypes in my opinion. I automatically think that they are:
#1: LAZY. Lifting a finger to click on a blinker? Just too much to handle.
#2: SELFISH. If they know where they’re going that’s all that matters. Fuck everyone else.
#3: INCONSIDERATE: They don’t know these other people on the road so who cares how they feel about using my blinker or not.
#4: UNFOCUSED: What’s a blinker? Oh yeah I think I do recall learning about that in driver’s ed.
#5: STUPID
Yes I automatically assume that people who don’t use their blinkers have a low IQ as well as anger issues and a careless attitude towards others.
I would love nothing more than to have a mechanism built into cars to punish someone who didn’t use their blinker. If the car recognizes that the steering wheel has been turned fully around without a blinker having been on it would send a signal to the mechanism, triggering a response in the none-blinker-user’s car in which their steering wheel would then slide open to reveal a big red boxing glove that would spring out to punch them in the face. Just a nice quick punch to wake them up a bit and let them know they’re an asshole. Maybe the stereo would chime in with a little jingle about using your blinker. No really. I think this could fix the problem.
Be considerate of others on the road. Pay attention. Use your damn blinker. Nuff said.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Head over Heels for Fall
I used to believe that Summer should be a year round season. I love light. Sunshine. Patios. I love shopping for sunglasses, sandals, and shimmery lipgloss. I enjoy being able to sit on my deck and not freeze my ass off. Read a book outside while a warm breeze tickles my cheeks. I like grilled food, fruity cocktails, and putting my bare feet in soft sand. I love all those things eternally. However, I’m trying to embrace all seasons, and I’m currently opening my door to the love of Fall.
Oh refreshing Fall. Glorious Fall. Leaves of red and orange sprinkle about the treetops and pumpkin is the word of the day for weeks on end. The air outdoors turns from a dry heat to a chilled smokey dash of crisp wind that can either make you shiver in shock or take a deep breath in and a refreshing aaaahhhh out.
Fall is like nature’s nap between the seasons. The sun is taking a break from beaming and the lakes can finally be at peace with their reflection. The boats no longer break the glassy ambiance apart and the jet ski’s departure tames the roar that bellowed against it’s peaceful palette. The leaves tire of their emerald and lime shades of green and give us a quick pop of color, a final farewell before trickling their remains onto our sidewalks and lawns, turning to crust and then getting combed with the rake and left to sleep in a stuffed garbage bag. The trees go back to nakedness. Voluptuous billows of leaves disappear in the night and naked twigs sprouting from bare branches cast broken shadows onto the streets. The grass dries up and turns a haze of wheat, awaiting the blanket of snow that will cast them into a long nap until the whisper of Spring rouses them. It’s a fresh start and a sweet surrender.
Fall also gives me a little time to rest. After all, the upkeep on my pedicure was getting a bit tiring, and I can finally put an end to my search for the perfect bikini which never actually happened. AGAIN. Now that Fall has arrived, I can put my fuzzy socks on which my feet adore and rotate between my beloved boot collection of which I will never tire of. Sweatshirts and sweaters and scarves are fun. Since it’s chilly out and I’ll be spending more time inside, I can reconnect with my oven, bake pumpkin bread and simmer chili. The house will smell warm again and the lamps will look prettier against the dark windows. I also plan on becoming a squash connoisseur this season and creating squash soup, squash pie, and squash mac n’ cheese. I love squash, and I always forget to buy them, but this year I am going to make an effort to get my squash on. I am also going to carve a pumpkin and bake the seeds. I am going to make real apple cider as well. I might even dress up for Halloween if I can find a good dominatrix outfit....
In all seriousness though, life is all about change, and the weather is never an exception. Should we not make the best of every day we have on this earth, whether it’s raining or cold and gloomy as hell? I’m going to make an honest effort to not complain about the snow this year (it may only last the first few weeks after the initial snowfall, but I’ll TRY) because at the end of the day, I’m just really glad to be here. My life doesn’t revolve around the weather, it revolves around love. Happiness is all around me and I’m not going to let the condition of the atmosphere depict how I will feel. Every moment that this earth allows me to walk on it and life decides to still have me I’m going to appreciate it, and “fall” into it with both arms open.
Oh refreshing Fall. Glorious Fall. Leaves of red and orange sprinkle about the treetops and pumpkin is the word of the day for weeks on end. The air outdoors turns from a dry heat to a chilled smokey dash of crisp wind that can either make you shiver in shock or take a deep breath in and a refreshing aaaahhhh out.
Fall is like nature’s nap between the seasons. The sun is taking a break from beaming and the lakes can finally be at peace with their reflection. The boats no longer break the glassy ambiance apart and the jet ski’s departure tames the roar that bellowed against it’s peaceful palette. The leaves tire of their emerald and lime shades of green and give us a quick pop of color, a final farewell before trickling their remains onto our sidewalks and lawns, turning to crust and then getting combed with the rake and left to sleep in a stuffed garbage bag. The trees go back to nakedness. Voluptuous billows of leaves disappear in the night and naked twigs sprouting from bare branches cast broken shadows onto the streets. The grass dries up and turns a haze of wheat, awaiting the blanket of snow that will cast them into a long nap until the whisper of Spring rouses them. It’s a fresh start and a sweet surrender.
Fall also gives me a little time to rest. After all, the upkeep on my pedicure was getting a bit tiring, and I can finally put an end to my search for the perfect bikini which never actually happened. AGAIN. Now that Fall has arrived, I can put my fuzzy socks on which my feet adore and rotate between my beloved boot collection of which I will never tire of. Sweatshirts and sweaters and scarves are fun. Since it’s chilly out and I’ll be spending more time inside, I can reconnect with my oven, bake pumpkin bread and simmer chili. The house will smell warm again and the lamps will look prettier against the dark windows. I also plan on becoming a squash connoisseur this season and creating squash soup, squash pie, and squash mac n’ cheese. I love squash, and I always forget to buy them, but this year I am going to make an effort to get my squash on. I am also going to carve a pumpkin and bake the seeds. I am going to make real apple cider as well. I might even dress up for Halloween if I can find a good dominatrix outfit....
In all seriousness though, life is all about change, and the weather is never an exception. Should we not make the best of every day we have on this earth, whether it’s raining or cold and gloomy as hell? I’m going to make an honest effort to not complain about the snow this year (it may only last the first few weeks after the initial snowfall, but I’ll TRY) because at the end of the day, I’m just really glad to be here. My life doesn’t revolve around the weather, it revolves around love. Happiness is all around me and I’m not going to let the condition of the atmosphere depict how I will feel. Every moment that this earth allows me to walk on it and life decides to still have me I’m going to appreciate it, and “fall” into it with both arms open.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
"Mommy, can you wipe my butt?"
Oh how I long for the days when I used to sleep in until tiny rays of sunshine danced upon my eye lids and the gentle morning breeze blew softly out the window. Somewhere between the range of 10:00 and noon was a delectable time for waking up on a Saturday morning. Those were such fairy tale times of beauty rest and relaxing mind sets. Then came the kid.
Once a child is welcomed into your life your sleep patterns go haywire. It’s random time slots of shut eye, never to be woken from naturally and an achy head usually follows with each awakening. The baby years of up and down and begging for just 4 straight hours of shut eye are well beyond me as my cute little pumpkin is now at the mature age of 4. Isn’t that old enough to wake up and entertain yourself for a couple hours? Apparently NOT.
I resort to bribery on many occasions, sometimes even on my knees pleading for him to not wake me before the sun comes out. Before I went to sleep last night I had him all equipped to care for himself if he were to wake by 6 a.m. I leave the bathroom light on so he can find the potty. I have his ipad on his night stand and have trained him on how to load a netflix movie. He has a glass of water if he’s thirsty and a couple of granola bars if he gets hungry. What else could you need? Extra blankets if he’s cold. All the teddy bears he owns are on the bed in case he suddenly decides he can’t find one. The lamp is on low. The monsters are evicted. No there are no spiders in your room. Kisses, hugs, and I love you’s seal the deal. I figured I’d be good to go. “Now what are you going to do if you wake up before mommy?” I tested. He obediently replied “I’ll turn on a movie, go potty and wait for the sun to come out.” Fingers crossed I fell asleep with a smile.
5 a.m. and still pitch black outside I hear a squeaky little voice “Mommy? Mommy?” I ignore it, thinking it will go away. It does not. After coaching myself on the importance of patience, I calmly mumble “What.” “Mommy can you wipe my butt?” This is not exactly the wake up call I’d hoped for. After reminding him that he’s a big boy and knows how to wipe his own butt, and I can’t believe you woke me over a poop, it’s still dark out, blah blah blah, and why are you naked right now? “But I did wipe my butt, but it won’t get clean and you do such a good job that I want you to wipe my butt,” UGH. Are you f’ing kidding me right now?
FINE. I get up and wipe the butt and put his pj’s back on and crash back on to my bed. Of course after that, I am completely unable to fall asleep again. “Sleeping in”, I am convinced those words are erased from my vocabulary. But in exchange for them I get the words “little voice.” Therefore, I am going to be thankful that I have a little voice in my life. After all, no voice in the world has given me such joy, such fulfillment, and such love. The fact that I have a little someone to call me mommy and who thinks I’m the best butt wiper in the world is kind of sweet actually. One day he’ll be all grown up and won’t rely on me to wipe his butt or scare away the monsters. I’m #1 in his eyes right now and I think I’ll try and keep it that way as long as I can. He wants to hang out with me, play with me, and he willingly announces that I’m his best friend at the most random moments. I am his everything. Time will fly and one day I won’t be able to sleep because he’s late for curfew or may not come home. One day he may stop slobbering me with wet kisses before I tuck him in at night. I hope he never stops giving me that big bear hug that ends with him saying “Oh Mommy Mommy I love you soooo much!” and squeezing MY cheeks.
So even if I wake up a little crabby and my under eye bags are extra deep, I think I’ll take that little voice waking me up as long as I can, even if it is to be woken by a naked little boy who needs his butt wiped.
Once a child is welcomed into your life your sleep patterns go haywire. It’s random time slots of shut eye, never to be woken from naturally and an achy head usually follows with each awakening. The baby years of up and down and begging for just 4 straight hours of shut eye are well beyond me as my cute little pumpkin is now at the mature age of 4. Isn’t that old enough to wake up and entertain yourself for a couple hours? Apparently NOT.
I resort to bribery on many occasions, sometimes even on my knees pleading for him to not wake me before the sun comes out. Before I went to sleep last night I had him all equipped to care for himself if he were to wake by 6 a.m. I leave the bathroom light on so he can find the potty. I have his ipad on his night stand and have trained him on how to load a netflix movie. He has a glass of water if he’s thirsty and a couple of granola bars if he gets hungry. What else could you need? Extra blankets if he’s cold. All the teddy bears he owns are on the bed in case he suddenly decides he can’t find one. The lamp is on low. The monsters are evicted. No there are no spiders in your room. Kisses, hugs, and I love you’s seal the deal. I figured I’d be good to go. “Now what are you going to do if you wake up before mommy?” I tested. He obediently replied “I’ll turn on a movie, go potty and wait for the sun to come out.” Fingers crossed I fell asleep with a smile.
5 a.m. and still pitch black outside I hear a squeaky little voice “Mommy? Mommy?” I ignore it, thinking it will go away. It does not. After coaching myself on the importance of patience, I calmly mumble “What.” “Mommy can you wipe my butt?” This is not exactly the wake up call I’d hoped for. After reminding him that he’s a big boy and knows how to wipe his own butt, and I can’t believe you woke me over a poop, it’s still dark out, blah blah blah, and why are you naked right now? “But I did wipe my butt, but it won’t get clean and you do such a good job that I want you to wipe my butt,” UGH. Are you f’ing kidding me right now?
FINE. I get up and wipe the butt and put his pj’s back on and crash back on to my bed. Of course after that, I am completely unable to fall asleep again. “Sleeping in”, I am convinced those words are erased from my vocabulary. But in exchange for them I get the words “little voice.” Therefore, I am going to be thankful that I have a little voice in my life. After all, no voice in the world has given me such joy, such fulfillment, and such love. The fact that I have a little someone to call me mommy and who thinks I’m the best butt wiper in the world is kind of sweet actually. One day he’ll be all grown up and won’t rely on me to wipe his butt or scare away the monsters. I’m #1 in his eyes right now and I think I’ll try and keep it that way as long as I can. He wants to hang out with me, play with me, and he willingly announces that I’m his best friend at the most random moments. I am his everything. Time will fly and one day I won’t be able to sleep because he’s late for curfew or may not come home. One day he may stop slobbering me with wet kisses before I tuck him in at night. I hope he never stops giving me that big bear hug that ends with him saying “Oh Mommy Mommy I love you soooo much!” and squeezing MY cheeks.
So even if I wake up a little crabby and my under eye bags are extra deep, I think I’ll take that little voice waking me up as long as I can, even if it is to be woken by a naked little boy who needs his butt wiped.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Top 10 things NEVER to say to your woman when fighting:
10 things NEVER to say to your woman while fighting:
Did you just get your period or something?
Hold that thought, I need to grab another beer.
You’re just cranky because your jeans are too tight.
Calm down. You’re acting like a psycho.
Jason’s wife would never act like this.
You shouldn’t furrow your brow like that, it makes you look old.
I bet my cock can fix things.
STFU and make me a sandwich. Extra mayo.
What’s that? I wasn’t listening.
Can you hand me the remote? Can’t hear the game over all your bitchin’.
Did you just get your period or something?
Hold that thought, I need to grab another beer.
You’re just cranky because your jeans are too tight.
Calm down. You’re acting like a psycho.
Jason’s wife would never act like this.
You shouldn’t furrow your brow like that, it makes you look old.
I bet my cock can fix things.
STFU and make me a sandwich. Extra mayo.
What’s that? I wasn’t listening.
Can you hand me the remote? Can’t hear the game over all your bitchin’.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Things I learned at Target....
Top 10 things I learned at Target today...
1.) Weird is the new normal. I looked around me and decided this today. Between the guy who had chain link suspenders and purple striped socks, to the chic who was riding her cart like a skateboard it has become quite evident that “weird” has now taken over.
2.) Don’t tell your mom that all your college roommates bailed on your apartment in the middle of the laundry aisle. Yes, a son told his mother that Kenny is living with his girlfriend and Brian is no longer going to college because he has no money. Mom lost it as she co-signed on the lease and already put the down payment down and now the kid has no roommates and can’t afford the apartment. I lingered by the dryer sheets just to get the whole story as I found it quite interesting. Once the curse words started coming, I was on my way.
3.) 5 yr. olds don’t care about nutrition. This came from a couple trying to determine what granola bars to buy for their 5 yr. old’s lunch box. Woman was reading labels trying to determine which has more nutrients and whole grains. The man then loudly pronounced to the woman (as if she was an idiot) “Good God she’s 5 years old, how in the hell is she going to know the difference! All she cares about is taste Jane. Get her chocolate ones!” I judged this man as clueless, and wondered if their poor child will be damaged and chubby from all that high fructose corn syrup. Yes, I read the label on the box they chose, just to see if it had it.
4.) Every college kid with roommates should buy their own food and put their name on it. I know this sounds silly, but I think it’s true. Less arguments will ensue. Three bubbly girls were shopping together (new roommates I’m guessing) debating over what kind of chips to buy, who likes popcorn,and OMG have you guys tried uncrustables? I later saw them at the checkout aisle and one girl assumed they’d split the bill 3 ways, while another girl thought she was just “coming along.” Then they said, “well like you’re not going to eat any of this when it’s in the house”, and “I’m not just splitting the cost 2 ways, that’s way too much money.” One girl only brought $15 cash. Then came the debate of charging it. I wanted to walk over and counsel them all, but instead took the moment to be thankful I’m done with college! GAAH! Buy your own food and eat your own food. Split pizza and that’s it!
5.) Watch where you’re going. Simple thing I learned by watching a guy take a step backwards while laughing at his friend in the junk food aisle. His heel got ran over by a cart passing by and I don’t think they were tears of laughter, although he used that as a cover up.
6.) Get your coupons out ahead of time. Nobody wants to wait in line for-e-ver because someone is digging through their purse for a coupon they swear they just had! Get your coupons out and put them in front of your items before they get to the scanner, cashiers love that. Besides do you really want to be the person that holds up a line for 20% off a box of cereal? I think not.
7.) Look in the mirror before you leave the house. Not to sound mean, but honestly people, unless you are going dumpster diving or are headed off to wrestle up pigs later, you should really clean it up a bit if you’re going out in public. The BO coming off of a guy in aisle B5 was enough for me to forgo getting hand soap today, because I wasn’t going near that section. One lady even said to her husband “Ugh, what a smell..” while passing by him. Also, please don’t wear a size 5 or you’re a size 9. Be kind to your thighs and let them breathe.
8.) DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT drive by the entrance of a store with the music cranked so loud that the guy 2 miles away has to shut his windows. Not only that but to be playing a rap song using words like pussy and sex are not fit to be blaring out open windows EVER, especially when children are around. Appalling!! I muttered idiot under my breathe, but one guy decided to just call him a jackass out loud and I liked him for it.
9.) Orange juice gives you zits. This overheard by a mom and some girls shopping together. Mom: “Do you girls want any apple juice? Orange juice?” Girl 1: “OMG no OJ totally causes acne. I hate that stuff.” Mom: “Oh it does not that’s ridiculous.” Girl 2: “No it really does, and gives me cold sores too.” Girl 1: “Ew. I wonder if Pauly drinks OJ cuz his skin is a mess. You should ask him.” Mom: “Ok, well do you want some kind of sodas then?” Girl 2: “I like Sunkist.” Girl 1: “That’s got oranges in it too.”
The conversation got so ridiculous after that, I had to walk away before I started laughing!
10.) The greatest lesson I learned today was from the cashier at Target, and my inspiration behind this particular blog. The kid looked like the red head from the Harry Potter movies, about 17 or so, he said “Until you can do what you love, you gotta love what you’re doing.” Isn’t that the truth? When he asked “how are you today?” and I responded with “Great, how are you?” He proceeded to tell me everything he thought within the 3 minute check out time. It was hysterical. He went on about how “Some people just show up and do their job and work for the money and go home, but I come to be the best I can at everything I do and try to imagine myself as working for free because I’m having such a great time doing what I’m doing. It makes every day a great one! See you get it (who me? he just met me!) you just approach life with a good attitude and know that good things will come.” How did he know that by looking at me? It was great though. He gets it.
Between his schooling me on life and me being a little shocked over his openness, he forgot to give me all my bags which I had to go back and get. So I guess that’s the 11th lesson. Make sure you have all your bags!
1.) Weird is the new normal. I looked around me and decided this today. Between the guy who had chain link suspenders and purple striped socks, to the chic who was riding her cart like a skateboard it has become quite evident that “weird” has now taken over.
2.) Don’t tell your mom that all your college roommates bailed on your apartment in the middle of the laundry aisle. Yes, a son told his mother that Kenny is living with his girlfriend and Brian is no longer going to college because he has no money. Mom lost it as she co-signed on the lease and already put the down payment down and now the kid has no roommates and can’t afford the apartment. I lingered by the dryer sheets just to get the whole story as I found it quite interesting. Once the curse words started coming, I was on my way.
3.) 5 yr. olds don’t care about nutrition. This came from a couple trying to determine what granola bars to buy for their 5 yr. old’s lunch box. Woman was reading labels trying to determine which has more nutrients and whole grains. The man then loudly pronounced to the woman (as if she was an idiot) “Good God she’s 5 years old, how in the hell is she going to know the difference! All she cares about is taste Jane. Get her chocolate ones!” I judged this man as clueless, and wondered if their poor child will be damaged and chubby from all that high fructose corn syrup. Yes, I read the label on the box they chose, just to see if it had it.
4.) Every college kid with roommates should buy their own food and put their name on it. I know this sounds silly, but I think it’s true. Less arguments will ensue. Three bubbly girls were shopping together (new roommates I’m guessing) debating over what kind of chips to buy, who likes popcorn,and OMG have you guys tried uncrustables? I later saw them at the checkout aisle and one girl assumed they’d split the bill 3 ways, while another girl thought she was just “coming along.” Then they said, “well like you’re not going to eat any of this when it’s in the house”, and “I’m not just splitting the cost 2 ways, that’s way too much money.” One girl only brought $15 cash. Then came the debate of charging it. I wanted to walk over and counsel them all, but instead took the moment to be thankful I’m done with college! GAAH! Buy your own food and eat your own food. Split pizza and that’s it!
5.) Watch where you’re going. Simple thing I learned by watching a guy take a step backwards while laughing at his friend in the junk food aisle. His heel got ran over by a cart passing by and I don’t think they were tears of laughter, although he used that as a cover up.
6.) Get your coupons out ahead of time. Nobody wants to wait in line for-e-ver because someone is digging through their purse for a coupon they swear they just had! Get your coupons out and put them in front of your items before they get to the scanner, cashiers love that. Besides do you really want to be the person that holds up a line for 20% off a box of cereal? I think not.
7.) Look in the mirror before you leave the house. Not to sound mean, but honestly people, unless you are going dumpster diving or are headed off to wrestle up pigs later, you should really clean it up a bit if you’re going out in public. The BO coming off of a guy in aisle B5 was enough for me to forgo getting hand soap today, because I wasn’t going near that section. One lady even said to her husband “Ugh, what a smell..” while passing by him. Also, please don’t wear a size 5 or you’re a size 9. Be kind to your thighs and let them breathe.
8.) DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT drive by the entrance of a store with the music cranked so loud that the guy 2 miles away has to shut his windows. Not only that but to be playing a rap song using words like pussy and sex are not fit to be blaring out open windows EVER, especially when children are around. Appalling!! I muttered idiot under my breathe, but one guy decided to just call him a jackass out loud and I liked him for it.
9.) Orange juice gives you zits. This overheard by a mom and some girls shopping together. Mom: “Do you girls want any apple juice? Orange juice?” Girl 1: “OMG no OJ totally causes acne. I hate that stuff.” Mom: “Oh it does not that’s ridiculous.” Girl 2: “No it really does, and gives me cold sores too.” Girl 1: “Ew. I wonder if Pauly drinks OJ cuz his skin is a mess. You should ask him.” Mom: “Ok, well do you want some kind of sodas then?” Girl 2: “I like Sunkist.” Girl 1: “That’s got oranges in it too.”
The conversation got so ridiculous after that, I had to walk away before I started laughing!
10.) The greatest lesson I learned today was from the cashier at Target, and my inspiration behind this particular blog. The kid looked like the red head from the Harry Potter movies, about 17 or so, he said “Until you can do what you love, you gotta love what you’re doing.” Isn’t that the truth? When he asked “how are you today?” and I responded with “Great, how are you?” He proceeded to tell me everything he thought within the 3 minute check out time. It was hysterical. He went on about how “Some people just show up and do their job and work for the money and go home, but I come to be the best I can at everything I do and try to imagine myself as working for free because I’m having such a great time doing what I’m doing. It makes every day a great one! See you get it (who me? he just met me!) you just approach life with a good attitude and know that good things will come.” How did he know that by looking at me? It was great though. He gets it.
Between his schooling me on life and me being a little shocked over his openness, he forgot to give me all my bags which I had to go back and get. So I guess that’s the 11th lesson. Make sure you have all your bags!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Booty Call: Getting down with the upside of it.
Booty Call. Those 2 words can either make someone cringe with anger over an unfulfilled game of love, or smile with memories of the spontaneity and uninhibited fun they once had.
If you don’t know what a booty call is, (and it scares me to think that someone may not)than you never dared to allow your body to be swept away in a late night rendezvous and know you’re not going to be sent a dozen roses in the morning. You are either wild and free or too uptight for “that sort of thing.” Perhaps you valued yourself too much than to be “just a booty call.” It’s not about that though. It’s about thinking outside the box, letting yourself go, lavishing in naughty actions and smearing lipstick all over some guys sheets and leaving without making the bed or having to worry about how he likes his coffee in the morning. You do the deed and get the hell out before the sun shines.
I prefer to see it as respecting yourself enough to know that a good night of sex doesn’t have to wipe away self esteem and leave you moping home in a walk of shame and guilt. Ahem-- no no no. You can walk with your head held high and your brain still intact knowing that a night of good sex can leave you feeling euphoric and uplifted and in control. You got what you came for and you don’t have to take any drama back home with you because you know the difference between leaping for lust and falling into everlasting love. You know that tangled bodies and sweaty lips are ONE thing and romance and fairy tales are ANOTHER thing. This is why it’s called a booty call, it’s about getting some “ass.” And that’s it.
The Urban Dictionary’s first 3 definitions of “Booty call” are:
*A phone call that can only be made after 1 AM.
*noun: a person with whom one has sex at random times outside of a relation ship. 2. verb: the act of calling said person. 3. noun: the term used to refer to said phone call
*A call to a girl asking for sex. She comes over and u fuck. That's it. A call for Sex.
The third one cracks me up because it insinuates that only males actually place the call. Hello?! Women have needs too people... Or is that considered “drunk dialing?” Either way, booty calls usually occur while under the influence and if you’re left going home alone after a night out with the “guys” or “girls.”. Eh, may as well resort to the old booty call. When it comes to booty calls, I am a fan. I think if both people have an understanding of where this sexual relationship is going, than no harm can be done. Invest your heart and soul? Expect disappointment to seep in. It’s about SEX and that’s IT.
Have them while you can and enjoy them while you can, love will come when you’re not looking, but booty calls are in the palm of your hand honey. Remember this: The only thing worse than being a booty call is to have never made anyone’s list....
If you don’t know what a booty call is, (and it scares me to think that someone may not)than you never dared to allow your body to be swept away in a late night rendezvous and know you’re not going to be sent a dozen roses in the morning. You are either wild and free or too uptight for “that sort of thing.” Perhaps you valued yourself too much than to be “just a booty call.” It’s not about that though. It’s about thinking outside the box, letting yourself go, lavishing in naughty actions and smearing lipstick all over some guys sheets and leaving without making the bed or having to worry about how he likes his coffee in the morning. You do the deed and get the hell out before the sun shines.
I prefer to see it as respecting yourself enough to know that a good night of sex doesn’t have to wipe away self esteem and leave you moping home in a walk of shame and guilt. Ahem-- no no no. You can walk with your head held high and your brain still intact knowing that a night of good sex can leave you feeling euphoric and uplifted and in control. You got what you came for and you don’t have to take any drama back home with you because you know the difference between leaping for lust and falling into everlasting love. You know that tangled bodies and sweaty lips are ONE thing and romance and fairy tales are ANOTHER thing. This is why it’s called a booty call, it’s about getting some “ass.” And that’s it.
The Urban Dictionary’s first 3 definitions of “Booty call” are:
*A phone call that can only be made after 1 AM.
*noun: a person with whom one has sex at random times outside of a relation ship. 2. verb: the act of calling said person. 3. noun: the term used to refer to said phone call
*A call to a girl asking for sex. She comes over and u fuck. That's it. A call for Sex.
The third one cracks me up because it insinuates that only males actually place the call. Hello?! Women have needs too people... Or is that considered “drunk dialing?” Either way, booty calls usually occur while under the influence and if you’re left going home alone after a night out with the “guys” or “girls.”. Eh, may as well resort to the old booty call. When it comes to booty calls, I am a fan. I think if both people have an understanding of where this sexual relationship is going, than no harm can be done. Invest your heart and soul? Expect disappointment to seep in. It’s about SEX and that’s IT.
Have them while you can and enjoy them while you can, love will come when you’re not looking, but booty calls are in the palm of your hand honey. Remember this: The only thing worse than being a booty call is to have never made anyone’s list....
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Good things come to those who wait...or do they?
"Good things may come to those who wait, but only those left over by the people who hustled." I heard this quote a long time ago. I agreed with it then and I agree with it now.
Whenever I hear the quote “Good things come to those who wait” I picture a bunch of people lined up on folding chairs with their backs against a plain white wall, twiddling their thumbs and gently rolling their eyes trying to be patient while they expect good things to fall onto their laps like the rain. Seems ridiculous, but to me it sounds ridiculous. Patience can only go so far and it gets twisted up with procrastination and laziness at times. I understand that some things may have the potential to turn out fine if they don't get disrupted by moving too fast or trying to find a quick solution to something rather than thinking it through, but to me it still doesn’t signify the word “wait.” I also understand letting things fall into place knowing that it’s okay to believe that some things will happen if they’ll happen and it’s out of our hands. All good things do not come to those who wait- it’s a 50/50 gamble or maybe a 10/90 gamble depending in the situation. So here’s what makes sense to me in regards to “good things coming”:
Good things come to those who expect the worst, hope for the best, and adjust to the unpredictable.
Good things come to those who know how to get what they want without compromising their integrity and morals, or losing their self confidence.
Good things come to those who can stand their ground even when the soil loosens, bumps arise, and they feel like someone just dug them into a hole.
Good things come to those who understand that everything in life is temporary and the things you deem important today may not be so pertinent tomorrow.
Good things come to those who can state their opinion as well as respect another person’s point of view (without getting defensive)
Good things come to those who treat others how they want to be treated. Get along with people! We’re all trying to get through this thing called life.
Good things come to those who know how to give without expecting anything in return.
Good things come to those who believe in the power of positive thinking.
Good things come to those who believe that good things will come. They believe they deserve good things and are worthy of goodness.
Good things come to those who have the good sense to know that they have the control to create the good things they want.
Whenever I hear the quote “Good things come to those who wait” I picture a bunch of people lined up on folding chairs with their backs against a plain white wall, twiddling their thumbs and gently rolling their eyes trying to be patient while they expect good things to fall onto their laps like the rain. Seems ridiculous, but to me it sounds ridiculous. Patience can only go so far and it gets twisted up with procrastination and laziness at times. I understand that some things may have the potential to turn out fine if they don't get disrupted by moving too fast or trying to find a quick solution to something rather than thinking it through, but to me it still doesn’t signify the word “wait.” I also understand letting things fall into place knowing that it’s okay to believe that some things will happen if they’ll happen and it’s out of our hands. All good things do not come to those who wait- it’s a 50/50 gamble or maybe a 10/90 gamble depending in the situation. So here’s what makes sense to me in regards to “good things coming”:
Good things come to those who expect the worst, hope for the best, and adjust to the unpredictable.
Good things come to those who know how to get what they want without compromising their integrity and morals, or losing their self confidence.
Good things come to those who can stand their ground even when the soil loosens, bumps arise, and they feel like someone just dug them into a hole.
Good things come to those who understand that everything in life is temporary and the things you deem important today may not be so pertinent tomorrow.
Good things come to those who can state their opinion as well as respect another person’s point of view (without getting defensive)
Good things come to those who treat others how they want to be treated. Get along with people! We’re all trying to get through this thing called life.
Good things come to those who know how to give without expecting anything in return.
Good things come to those who believe in the power of positive thinking.
Good things come to those who believe that good things will come. They believe they deserve good things and are worthy of goodness.
Good things come to those who have the good sense to know that they have the control to create the good things they want.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
All else fails? Grin and wear it!
Here’s my new little technique I use when I’m feeling as though someone is trying to pull me out of my “happy place” and into the pit of negativity with their crabby moods and cruel intentions. It’s quite simple actually and keeps me giggling all day. When someone makes a rude comment or wears a frown and their lower lip protrudes out so far that you have to hold your hands back from trying to flick it back into place, you need to get back on track. As much as I’d like to tell people to grow up, be nice, and quit acting like a 3 yr. old, I can’t do that. I need to stay in my happy zone thank you very much. So I don’t look at them. I look at a mirror instead.
When assholes strike, drama starts, or people get all bitchy I simply remove myself and head to the ladies room. I look in the mirror at myself and twist my face into the biggest grin I can muster up. I’m talking ridiculous bozo-the-clown type of glee. I pop my eyes open as big as they can go and bulge them up with enthusiasm and hilarity. Ear to ear, as wide as my teeth can smile and as high up as my brows will go, I perk my face into this cartoonish type of silly happiness. I look like a damn fool. A lunatic. A person that’s two breaths away from the loony bin. But you know what? It’s fucking hilarious. A person simply cannot, in all their power, not laugh their ass off if they do this. Fake it til ya make it. Laughter is the cure to anything, I swear. I laugh so hard that every piece of negative energy that tried to seep into my mind is exuded out through bellows of laughter and I feel refreshed. Energized. New. Of course, my fellow co-workers using the restroom for it’s sole purpose are hiding in the stalls afraid to come out because they think a crazy hyena is on the loose.... Anyway, that’s not the point. When I walk out I feel like a brand new shiny being again. Void of all evil and ready to skip to my happy beat again. And anytime something bothers me during the day, I simply picture my ridiculous shit ass grin in that mirror and I’m good to go again. My soul is warmed with laughter and I’m reminded at just how insignificant mood swings can be. I grin and I wear it in my mind because that silly image of my ballooned up happy face can be remembered all day long. Try it! Consider it free therapy.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
A life changing book we all should read....
I have a fond love for books, especially those that make me feel like I’m becoming a better person for having read them. Books that can give me a new perspective on life or help me understand what my purpose is are always something I gravitate towards. When difficult situations arise in life, I turn to books. The written concepts of wise people are what gets me through things. Some books are written by teachers. Some are written by doctors. Some preachers. Some books are inspiring tales of those who have beat the odds and lived to tell about it. I particularly focus on the books written by psychologists when I need to remind myself of the mind’s power to create our existence and rebuild an optimistic approach. The most recent book that I have added to my list of “Books that have changed my life” is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. There is a reason why this book has been published in dozens of languages and sold tens of millions of copies. He wrote it in only 9 days and yet the knowledge it carries with it will help the lives of millions for centuries to come.
It’s difficult to describe in a simple blog the enormous impact this book has had on my mind and nothing I could say would give it the justice that an individual reading it from cover to cover could gain from it. I read it in less than 2 days. It was that good. Here are a few things I high-lighted from the book, just to give you an idea on how Frankl thinks:
"The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance."
"What is to give light must endure burning."
"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true."
"Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time."
"In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice."
"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation."
"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose."
"I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one."
"Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in its spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance."
"A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining. What he becomes - within the limits of endowment and environment- he has made out of himself. In the concentration camps, for example, in this living laboratory and on this testing ground, we watched and witnessed some of our comrades behave like swine while others behaved like saints. Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions."
“The point is not what we expect from life, but rather what life expects from us."
"If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering."
"Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of..."
"Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how."
"The pessimist resembles a man who observes with fear and sadness that his wall calendar, from which he daily tears a sheet, grows thinner with each passing day. On the other hand, the person who attacks the problems of life actively is like a man who removes each successive leaf from his calendar and files it neatly and carefully away with its predecessors, after first having jotted down a few diary notes on the back. He can reflect with pride and joy on all the richness set down in these notes, on all the life he has already lived to the fullest. What will it matter to him if he notices that he is growing old? Has he any reason to envy the young people whom he sees, or wax nostalgic over his own lost youth? What reasons has he to envy a young person? For the possibilities that a young person has, the future which is in store for him?
No, thank you,' he will think. 'Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, although these are things which cannot inspire envy.'
I almost want to read this book again even though I just finished it yesterday...
It’s difficult to describe in a simple blog the enormous impact this book has had on my mind and nothing I could say would give it the justice that an individual reading it from cover to cover could gain from it. I read it in less than 2 days. It was that good. Here are a few things I high-lighted from the book, just to give you an idea on how Frankl thinks:
"The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance."
"What is to give light must endure burning."
"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true."
"Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time."
"In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice."
"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation."
"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose."
"I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one."
"Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in its spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance."
"A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining. What he becomes - within the limits of endowment and environment- he has made out of himself. In the concentration camps, for example, in this living laboratory and on this testing ground, we watched and witnessed some of our comrades behave like swine while others behaved like saints. Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions."
“The point is not what we expect from life, but rather what life expects from us."
"If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering."
"Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of..."
"Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how."
"The pessimist resembles a man who observes with fear and sadness that his wall calendar, from which he daily tears a sheet, grows thinner with each passing day. On the other hand, the person who attacks the problems of life actively is like a man who removes each successive leaf from his calendar and files it neatly and carefully away with its predecessors, after first having jotted down a few diary notes on the back. He can reflect with pride and joy on all the richness set down in these notes, on all the life he has already lived to the fullest. What will it matter to him if he notices that he is growing old? Has he any reason to envy the young people whom he sees, or wax nostalgic over his own lost youth? What reasons has he to envy a young person? For the possibilities that a young person has, the future which is in store for him?
No, thank you,' he will think. 'Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, although these are things which cannot inspire envy.'
I almost want to read this book again even though I just finished it yesterday...
Saturday, June 25, 2011
When it comes to the mall, leave the man at home.
OK, so someone needs to help me understand why women feel the need to drag their men to the mall. I know they’re being forced by the obvious look in their eye of sheer annoyance, boredom, and confusion. Men do not want to walk into ladies clothing stores while you browse the sale racks and pick through panties at Victorias Secret while they lay a guilty gaze on the mannequin flaunting the newest magic bra and bright lacy thong going up a hard beige painted concrete rump. Ok, well maybe they like that for a millisecond. After all, the gigantic images of models in VS are pretty amazing....
But as I was saying. The men just look all uncomfortable and awkward. They aren’t sure where to look or what to do. They may pretend to glance at their phone on occasion (yup, still no text messages there), or fiddle with their hair or look at the floor. But really? It’s uncomfortable for us fellow shoppers as well. While his chic is trying on bras in the stall he’s left to sort of “hang out” by the dressing room and pretend he’s texting or something while trying to not get caught ogling the images of Adriana Lima giving him the “let’s f--k” look from the wall hanging.
And then we have the shoe section. Ladies: Men do not want to follow you around like a puppy dog while you try on multiple pairs of Jessica Simpson heels and ask “Are these too tall?” “Do these make my ankles look fat?” Because really? Men could give a shit what kind of shoes you’re walking in unless they make him a foot shorter than you. And quite frankly, the man tailing behind you is taking up a lot of space in the sales rack aisle. Capiche?
Basically, I shop alone. I love shopping alone, it is time for ME and I don’t need anyone to tell me what looks good or what isn’t too tight in the butt. I have an eye for my own fashion thank you very much and I would never wear something unless “I” loved it.
If I did have the man along, I’d tell him to go to some electronic store or sports bar while I shop, so I can browse in peace. So ladies? Be a big girl and shop without your second half for a change. The end.
But as I was saying. The men just look all uncomfortable and awkward. They aren’t sure where to look or what to do. They may pretend to glance at their phone on occasion (yup, still no text messages there), or fiddle with their hair or look at the floor. But really? It’s uncomfortable for us fellow shoppers as well. While his chic is trying on bras in the stall he’s left to sort of “hang out” by the dressing room and pretend he’s texting or something while trying to not get caught ogling the images of Adriana Lima giving him the “let’s f--k” look from the wall hanging.
And then we have the shoe section. Ladies: Men do not want to follow you around like a puppy dog while you try on multiple pairs of Jessica Simpson heels and ask “Are these too tall?” “Do these make my ankles look fat?” Because really? Men could give a shit what kind of shoes you’re walking in unless they make him a foot shorter than you. And quite frankly, the man tailing behind you is taking up a lot of space in the sales rack aisle. Capiche?
Basically, I shop alone. I love shopping alone, it is time for ME and I don’t need anyone to tell me what looks good or what isn’t too tight in the butt. I have an eye for my own fashion thank you very much and I would never wear something unless “I” loved it.
If I did have the man along, I’d tell him to go to some electronic store or sports bar while I shop, so I can browse in peace. So ladies? Be a big girl and shop without your second half for a change. The end.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Money can buy you Viagara, but Viagara cannot buy you love.... (A short little tale of love, money, and ancient wieners)
Money can buy you things. Money can buy you big beautiful expensive things if you have enough of it. Those extravagant things may attract women. Big beautiful full lipped and round assed women. Those beautiful women will see that big wad of money and will somehow manipulate their personalities into being a fun and adoring playful girl in order to use your money to enjoy having the things they want and lavishing in your big beautiful mansion of luxury. The more money you spend on them and the more gifts you give them will easily add fuel to their affectionate engine and they will continue to rev it for you in order to get more and more of what you’re giving. They will think they have a big beautiful life ahead of them and thanks to Viagara they can also have a big beautiful cock to somehow light their fire, well, that is if they have a dark enough blind fold on and they dash enough ecstasy into their motor... (oh and they can pretend really really hard)
But after time, they realize that even though they have beautiful clothes, new cars, fresh manicures and big beautiful boobies, they may not want to waste it on a wrinkled old prune that wears a silk bathrobe to disguise his flat grandpa ass and only let’s you stay out til 10:00 on the weekdays. Not to mention those old movies he makes you watch every Sunday night that were made before you were born and you have to pretend to like them, and understand them...
They may not want to have to close their eyes every time they suck the saggy boner-wanna-be noodle that’s bounced in and out of thousands of women for the passed 80 years, trying to pretend it still has some life left. Mr. Winkie is tired of getting up and you’re tired of going down. You can only be so superficial, and after all, you have probably faked more orgasms in your 25 years than someone should in an entire lifetime. So you wake up and move on. You still got what you came for and you’re leaving the old man to wallow in his pornographic empire while you walk away with jewels on your fingers, bells on your toes, and a craptastic load of fame to roll off into the sunset with.
Crystal Harris, you may not be as dumb as people thought. And Hef? Perhaps you need to realize you aren’t the pimp playboy you once were. Perhaps ask your secretary Mary on a date? You know she’s not out for your money, and I’m sure she’ll still let you buy her some boobies :)
Saturday, June 4, 2011
My silly mistake of the day :)
So I did something silly today (actually, a tad dumb) and feel obligated to share the humor...
So as I’m leaving the shopping mall with my jolly little kid in the back seat chanting “I’m hung-wee, I’m hung-wee, I’m hung-wee” (translation: “I’m hungry”), I ask him what he wants. “I want a hang-a-ber, and french fries, and lots and lots of ice cream!” Typical response here.
Cruising along the road, I try to find the nearest drive-thru. I pull in and land in this long line while some lady in a mini-van takes like 10 minutes to place her order (she has the proud mom bumper stickers at all angles on the rear window...and you know there’s like 6 kids in the back). I’m thinking “Gaahh, can’t people just figure out what the hell they’re going to order ahead of time?!” Anyone who knows me, knows that I was born without patience. I FINALLY get up to the damn speaker and chant out as quickly as possible, proud that I know what the hell I want “I’ll have a kid’s cheeseburger meal with fries and sprite, a large fry with lots of mayo packets, and 2 small chocolate frostys with whip cream.” I got my money in hand because I’m all organized like that....Suddenly the girl says through the speaker, in the most duh-like tone eVer, “Umm, we don’t have any of those things. This is Taco John’s.” I can sense the cocky expression on her face.
I look up, and sure shit, I am at Taco John’s.
I thought I was at Wendy’s.
I simply reply “Ooopsy...I think I have the wrong place.” I drive 10 feet, hang a right and pull into the “correct” drive-thru for Wendy’s.
Lesson learned: Think before you speak, don’t judge others because nobody is perfect, and perhaps a little patience wouldn’t kill me.
So that was my dumb moment of the day! I think I even blushed a little, so obviously I had to get a LARGE frosty after that ordeal.
So as I’m leaving the shopping mall with my jolly little kid in the back seat chanting “I’m hung-wee, I’m hung-wee, I’m hung-wee” (translation: “I’m hungry”), I ask him what he wants. “I want a hang-a-ber, and french fries, and lots and lots of ice cream!” Typical response here.
Cruising along the road, I try to find the nearest drive-thru. I pull in and land in this long line while some lady in a mini-van takes like 10 minutes to place her order (she has the proud mom bumper stickers at all angles on the rear window...and you know there’s like 6 kids in the back). I’m thinking “Gaahh, can’t people just figure out what the hell they’re going to order ahead of time?!” Anyone who knows me, knows that I was born without patience. I FINALLY get up to the damn speaker and chant out as quickly as possible, proud that I know what the hell I want “I’ll have a kid’s cheeseburger meal with fries and sprite, a large fry with lots of mayo packets, and 2 small chocolate frostys with whip cream.” I got my money in hand because I’m all organized like that....Suddenly the girl says through the speaker, in the most duh-like tone eVer, “Umm, we don’t have any of those things. This is Taco John’s.” I can sense the cocky expression on her face.
I look up, and sure shit, I am at Taco John’s.
I thought I was at Wendy’s.
I simply reply “Ooopsy...I think I have the wrong place.” I drive 10 feet, hang a right and pull into the “correct” drive-thru for Wendy’s.
Lesson learned: Think before you speak, don’t judge others because nobody is perfect, and perhaps a little patience wouldn’t kill me.
So that was my dumb moment of the day! I think I even blushed a little, so obviously I had to get a LARGE frosty after that ordeal.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Go ahead and sin a little...
Cold and rainy mornings really get me in the mood to bake, well so do hot and sunny ones and windy snowy ones. I could bake anytime. This morning I wanted something chocolatey (I always want chocolate) and creamy. Sweet and warm. Something that would taste good with whipped cream. Well, in my mind whip cream goes with almost any baked concoction.
I didn’t want to go to the store, so looking through the things I had on hand... coconut, a cake mix, cream cheese, sugar, etc, I decided to create my craving and I must say it turned out beautifully. Delicious in every detail. If anyone would like to dive into these photos tongue first, feel free to follow my lead and bake yourself a little something sweet. You deserve it. The photos were taken pre-whipped cream, so it was really “that” much better when I ate it....
Here’s what I did....
P.S. This is NOT for the calorie counting, the waist conscious, or the person that feels guilty after indulgence. If you can forgo any bad feelings in the name of sweetness, then please continue...
Lets just call it:
“Mel’s Gooey Pan of Sin”
Preheat the oven to 350.
Ingredients needed:
2 sticks of butter (no skimping)
Nuts (I used about 1/2 cup chopped hazelnuts, but I bet pecans would be good too)
1 cup sweetened coconut
Box of cake (I used german chocolate)Will need: Vegetable oil and 3 eggs for the cake
Some powdered sugar (a lot?)
8 oz. softened cream cheese
Vanilla
1 cup Heavy cream
cinnamon
Step One: Melt 1 stick of butter in a saucepan and spread (or pour actually) into a 9x13 pan.
Sprinkle some nuts and 1 cup coconut on top of the butter.
Step Two: Make the cake mix like the box says and pour it over the coconut layer.
Step Three: Simmer the other stick of butter on low heat and add in the softened cream cheese until melted and smooth. Add some powdered sugar until thick in consistency, about 2 1/2 -3 cups. Drop by large dollops over the cake batter. Swirl if you prefer, but don’t disrupt the lower layer.
Step Four: Bake 40 minutes. Cool.
Step Five: While the cake cools I whip the cream. I add about 3 tablespoons powdered sugar to the cream, and a few drops of vanilla and some sprinkles of cinnamon. Beat for 2-3 minutes until little peaks form.
The cake was still hot, so I made a hot chocolate and put some whipped cream on that while I sipped and waited.... This whipped cream is phenomenal with cocoa.
Breathe in the smell, smile, and slice yourself a piece of heaven. Heaven can taste sinful, but instead of confessing, you’ll be running back for more :)
Excuse me while I go get myself another slice.....
Sunday, May 22, 2011
What other people think: Does it matter or not?
I’ve always been somewhat of a free spirit, flying through life and not paying too much attention to ill-natured opinions of me. After all, I was not put on this earth to revolve my life around other people’s expectations, nor am I going to change the direction of my flight due to someone else’s thought process. I’m on my own personal journey and will not allow people to put bumps on my road or block my path to getting to the end in one confident piece. I do the best I can for ME, my approval of myself is the most important thing on my list, and other people’s expectations come after that, if they come at all.
I’m not going to sugar coat things and say it hasn’t hurt my feelings a bit when I hear a rude or harsh word were spoken about me, but I won’t let it affect who I am in the long run. Usually that “thing” a person thinks is incorrect or based on an inaccurate piece of information they may have been told, which forced the thought to sit in their mind and form an inappropriate opinion.
I am always taken aback when I encounter someone who completely obsesses about what other people think of them or lets something they heard spoken of them stew in their head like venom and try endlessly to figure out who said it and why they think it. It’s just so silly to me! Honestly? People don’t really care that much. We’d be much less worried about what other people think of us if we realized how seldom they do. Anyone who is more pre-occupied with someone else’s life, obviously needs to get one of their own, wouldn’t you agree?
Other people’s opinions are important to me, that’s a definite statement. I may erase some from my memory upon hearing them or I may give an honest listen to some...depending on the nature of their thought, who they are, and most importantly, how well they truly know ME. If they are not well educated and haven’t a lick common sense on their side, I will likely brush their opinion off my shoulder as quickly as I would if a spider were to descend upon me.
Another thing I have learned about people, which is why it doesn’t necessarily bother me if people talk behind my back, is that often times the things people say are not how they truly feel when it comes to idle gossip or catty remarks. Sometimes, people have this nagging insecurity within themselves, that can only be soothed by focusing on the flaws of others. Pointing out what is wrong or distasteful about another person, somehow makes them feel as is they can gain an appreciation from the person with whom they are gossiping with. This is more prominent in women. It doesn’t matter what age, some women will always be mentally stuck in the 5th grade, and can be your best friend one second, and be talking shit about you the next. This makes me giggle because it’s so predictable, and while one could choose to let these things upset them and call someone out on their misconceptions and seemingly cruel disposition, it’s much easier for me to ignore this sort of ridiculousness altogether.
Ultimately, any person who begins a conversation with a negative comment about someone else, has a lot to learn. Smart people know that by fixing the flaws in “ourselves” first deters us from putting a microscope up to everyone else’s shortcomings. In the end, it doesn’t matter what people say about me behind my back because “I” like myself. I read this quote in a book back when I was a teenager, and I’ll never forget how the words clicked like a light bulb, “Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you, simply live your life so that nobody will believe them.” How simple yet powerful those words are.
In the grand scheme of things the truth about people will reign in the end. I will continue to be who I am, speak my opinion, and not pass judgements on others. We were not made to be perfect, and most definitely we will die imperfect. All we can do is make the best with what we got and know that everyone else is probably trying to do the same, it is not our job to judge how fast they do it or in what fashion they try to improve. We need to worry about ourselves, and not the faults of others. With that said, ultimately other people’s opinions don’t really bother me because I’ll be skipping along a yellow brick road with my shiny red slippers filled with hope regardless of the negativity I encounter.
I’m not going to sugar coat things and say it hasn’t hurt my feelings a bit when I hear a rude or harsh word were spoken about me, but I won’t let it affect who I am in the long run. Usually that “thing” a person thinks is incorrect or based on an inaccurate piece of information they may have been told, which forced the thought to sit in their mind and form an inappropriate opinion.
I am always taken aback when I encounter someone who completely obsesses about what other people think of them or lets something they heard spoken of them stew in their head like venom and try endlessly to figure out who said it and why they think it. It’s just so silly to me! Honestly? People don’t really care that much. We’d be much less worried about what other people think of us if we realized how seldom they do. Anyone who is more pre-occupied with someone else’s life, obviously needs to get one of their own, wouldn’t you agree?
Other people’s opinions are important to me, that’s a definite statement. I may erase some from my memory upon hearing them or I may give an honest listen to some...depending on the nature of their thought, who they are, and most importantly, how well they truly know ME. If they are not well educated and haven’t a lick common sense on their side, I will likely brush their opinion off my shoulder as quickly as I would if a spider were to descend upon me.
Another thing I have learned about people, which is why it doesn’t necessarily bother me if people talk behind my back, is that often times the things people say are not how they truly feel when it comes to idle gossip or catty remarks. Sometimes, people have this nagging insecurity within themselves, that can only be soothed by focusing on the flaws of others. Pointing out what is wrong or distasteful about another person, somehow makes them feel as is they can gain an appreciation from the person with whom they are gossiping with. This is more prominent in women. It doesn’t matter what age, some women will always be mentally stuck in the 5th grade, and can be your best friend one second, and be talking shit about you the next. This makes me giggle because it’s so predictable, and while one could choose to let these things upset them and call someone out on their misconceptions and seemingly cruel disposition, it’s much easier for me to ignore this sort of ridiculousness altogether.
Ultimately, any person who begins a conversation with a negative comment about someone else, has a lot to learn. Smart people know that by fixing the flaws in “ourselves” first deters us from putting a microscope up to everyone else’s shortcomings. In the end, it doesn’t matter what people say about me behind my back because “I” like myself. I read this quote in a book back when I was a teenager, and I’ll never forget how the words clicked like a light bulb, “Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you, simply live your life so that nobody will believe them.” How simple yet powerful those words are.
In the grand scheme of things the truth about people will reign in the end. I will continue to be who I am, speak my opinion, and not pass judgements on others. We were not made to be perfect, and most definitely we will die imperfect. All we can do is make the best with what we got and know that everyone else is probably trying to do the same, it is not our job to judge how fast they do it or in what fashion they try to improve. We need to worry about ourselves, and not the faults of others. With that said, ultimately other people’s opinions don’t really bother me because I’ll be skipping along a yellow brick road with my shiny red slippers filled with hope regardless of the negativity I encounter.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Morning wisdom from Mr. Lincoln
Although Abe Lincoln passed away well before our time, I believe his wisdom will shadow this earth for decades to come. While he only had 18 months of formal education, he taught himself the things he deemed important and let his inner brilliance emerge because of it. I particularly admire his strong knack for common sense.
He was the first president to grow a beard, the first president to believe that women had a right to vote, and he never let failure put a halt to what he knew to be right and just. I also think it’s interesting how he dreamt of his own death twice in the week leading up to it. His 56 years on this earth weren’t long enough and I really hope he is reincarnated someday as we really need some modern-day Abe Lincoln’s around this world.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from
honest Abe:
I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.
It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong.
My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.
Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
Whatever you are, be a good one.
Things may come to those who wait...but only the things left by those who hustle.
Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing.
You may fool all the people some of the time: you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can't fool all of the people all the time.
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.
My dream is of a place and a time where America will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
I do the very best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The woman I call MOM
MOM. This is a word that makes me warm and fuzzy when I hear it and I feel forever grateful when I say it. I have a lot of childhood memories of feeling deep appreciation for the woman I get to call Mom. Not only did she try to heal my skinned knees, but she would mend broken hearts, soothe bruised egos, and she always lifted me up when I was down. She never stopped trying to do the best she knew how and she never gave up when I turned into a black sheep rebel from age 14 to 17. For those 4 years alone she deserves a gold medal trimmed with diamonds.
If anyone knows how to show unconditional love, it is her.
I remember back in 2nd grade when we were constructing mother’s day cards with colored paper, glitter, and a really dull pair of scissors. I peered over my shoulder at this kid Mikey’s card and he was writing something like “To the greatest mom ever”, and all I could think was “how could this kid have the greatest mom ever when MY mom is the greatest mom ever? I have the best mom, not this kid” I sort of sneered inside thinking, if he ever meets my mom than he’ll know that she wins the best mom contest. It made me mad though and I still remember it because I got this little defensive feeling like I needed to somehow let the world know that SHE was indeed the best mom ever. After peeking at a few more cards that looked a little shabby and only said “I LOve you MOM” or “Have a nice Muther’s day”, I felt better. As long as they weren’t stating anything about the BEST mom ever, I was alright, because nobody was going to steal that title which was reserved for MY MOM ONLY.
It didn’t take long to realize I had the best mom ever because there were just so many things she did for me as a kid, it would have been impossible to think otherwise. I remember my first day of kindergarten and bawling my eyes out because she was leaving me and I didn’t think I could survive the day without her. She was always there to comfort me and convince me she’d be back. In the first grade when I was given assigned seating in between two boys and came home crying because I couldn’t possibly sit in between two STINKY BOYS (this is pre-puberty of course), she called the teacher and laughingly asked if I could please sit by a girl instead as I was simply distressed over this. The next day my desk was at the end, with one girl next to me. My mom was my savior!
My Mom was the kind that always tried to make sure your heart was content and your eyes were dry. She would cook me anything I wanted whenever I wanted it. Damn I miss that. She would stir a bowl of hard ice cream into a soft serve chocolate shake if I wanted it at that consistency and she would blow on my soup for me even though I was totally capable. It was these little things that I remember. I was spoiled with gestures, not material items. She was good at being a MOM.
The house was always clean, the dishes were washed, the beds were made, and the wash machine was rumbling. My mom created all of our birthday cakes herself and sewed our Christmas pageant costumes by hand. The smell of chocolate chip cookies in the oven will always bring me back to my childhood. She made the best french toast, the best potato pancakes, and the best peanut butter bars.
My Mom still washes dishes in the sink, lifts the garage door with her hands, and probably has no idea what text messaging is. She has no email address and has never logged on to that “facebook thing” as she would say. She is a small town girl with the biggest heart ever and the simple life is simply wonderful to her. She will probably never read this, but I’m sure if she did she’d probably just smile softly, say “well that was really nice” and continue doing what she does best, and that is being a MOM :)
If anyone knows how to show unconditional love, it is her.
I remember back in 2nd grade when we were constructing mother’s day cards with colored paper, glitter, and a really dull pair of scissors. I peered over my shoulder at this kid Mikey’s card and he was writing something like “To the greatest mom ever”, and all I could think was “how could this kid have the greatest mom ever when MY mom is the greatest mom ever? I have the best mom, not this kid” I sort of sneered inside thinking, if he ever meets my mom than he’ll know that she wins the best mom contest. It made me mad though and I still remember it because I got this little defensive feeling like I needed to somehow let the world know that SHE was indeed the best mom ever. After peeking at a few more cards that looked a little shabby and only said “I LOve you MOM” or “Have a nice Muther’s day”, I felt better. As long as they weren’t stating anything about the BEST mom ever, I was alright, because nobody was going to steal that title which was reserved for MY MOM ONLY.
It didn’t take long to realize I had the best mom ever because there were just so many things she did for me as a kid, it would have been impossible to think otherwise. I remember my first day of kindergarten and bawling my eyes out because she was leaving me and I didn’t think I could survive the day without her. She was always there to comfort me and convince me she’d be back. In the first grade when I was given assigned seating in between two boys and came home crying because I couldn’t possibly sit in between two STINKY BOYS (this is pre-puberty of course), she called the teacher and laughingly asked if I could please sit by a girl instead as I was simply distressed over this. The next day my desk was at the end, with one girl next to me. My mom was my savior!
My Mom was the kind that always tried to make sure your heart was content and your eyes were dry. She would cook me anything I wanted whenever I wanted it. Damn I miss that. She would stir a bowl of hard ice cream into a soft serve chocolate shake if I wanted it at that consistency and she would blow on my soup for me even though I was totally capable. It was these little things that I remember. I was spoiled with gestures, not material items. She was good at being a MOM.
The house was always clean, the dishes were washed, the beds were made, and the wash machine was rumbling. My mom created all of our birthday cakes herself and sewed our Christmas pageant costumes by hand. The smell of chocolate chip cookies in the oven will always bring me back to my childhood. She made the best french toast, the best potato pancakes, and the best peanut butter bars.
My Mom still washes dishes in the sink, lifts the garage door with her hands, and probably has no idea what text messaging is. She has no email address and has never logged on to that “facebook thing” as she would say. She is a small town girl with the biggest heart ever and the simple life is simply wonderful to her. She will probably never read this, but I’m sure if she did she’d probably just smile softly, say “well that was really nice” and continue doing what she does best, and that is being a MOM :)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
~A shelf in my mind of what matters~
Life. Such a broad word to ultimately define what really is a very short trip. We are supposed to get out of life what we put into it. We are supposed to live every day as if it were our last and to enjoy it to the fullest. Easy to say, not always easy to do.Troubles arise, unfairness creeps in, and sometimes I feel like I’m looking at a world of two-faced people and wondering who I truly know and who I don’t.
What really “matters” in life has been weighing on my mind lately. Life doesn’t always feel so soft and fluffy some days and in my mind I needed to lay out in front of me the little things that matter so I can collect these tiny thoughts of positive inspiration, wrap them up in a bow, and put them on the neat little shelf in the back of my mind that is labeled “lessons in what truly matters.”
Here are a few personal thoughts that I have layered up in my mind....
~ It matters not what is done to you by others, but what you do in return.
~ Fighting for what you’re worth is pointless, instead you shall take your worth to where someone can appreciate it without you having to whisper a word of persuasion.
~Fixing people never works. The people who most need to be fixed and corrected are too stubborn to see it. In due time, they may be forced to change. It is not my job to speed the process.
~Lessons were given to us to be learned from, not to be questioned. Lessons make the mind broader and the heart stronger. When the fire arises inside, let it light the way to something better rather than trying to blow it out or calm your emotions.
~It doesn’t matter whether someone else makes horrible decisions that affect my life. That is their lesson to learn. I have my own problems to fix. It’s okay to watch people burn their bridges, peek over my shoulder, and continue to walk away. I have mountains to move thank-you.
~As long as I am being the best ME that I can BE, I am doing just fine.
~When people stab me in the back, I need to simply remove the knife and wipe the blade clean. Confident girls walk away with a smile instead of throwing knives back.
~It doesn’t matter what is spoken of me by anyone who doesn’t truly know me. Smart girls know who is worth their time and who is simply worthless.
~If you don’t like something and you cannot change it, then you must move on or tolerate the discouragement.
~The joy of true friends will always outweigh the betrayal of false ones.
~The love of a few good people is all you really need. Focus on the love you are given, and erase the feelings of negative energy brought on by the weak minded.
~If you want something done, something said, or something changed, it is all up to you and it is all within you. You are the only one who will ever really have your back. Use yourself instead of looking for other people to fight your battles.
~Know that good brings good and bad brings bad. Karma will come around, and in the end everyone will have results for the choices they’ve made. I will not get frustrated with other people’s bad decision making. I have faith that their time will come. And so will mine.
~If I can hold my head high every day, knowing that I am bigger and better than anything that can happen to me, I have done enough for the day.
*That’s what I’ve learned so far just this week. It has been a long week obviously :-)
What really “matters” in life has been weighing on my mind lately. Life doesn’t always feel so soft and fluffy some days and in my mind I needed to lay out in front of me the little things that matter so I can collect these tiny thoughts of positive inspiration, wrap them up in a bow, and put them on the neat little shelf in the back of my mind that is labeled “lessons in what truly matters.”
Here are a few personal thoughts that I have layered up in my mind....
~ It matters not what is done to you by others, but what you do in return.
~ Fighting for what you’re worth is pointless, instead you shall take your worth to where someone can appreciate it without you having to whisper a word of persuasion.
~Fixing people never works. The people who most need to be fixed and corrected are too stubborn to see it. In due time, they may be forced to change. It is not my job to speed the process.
~Lessons were given to us to be learned from, not to be questioned. Lessons make the mind broader and the heart stronger. When the fire arises inside, let it light the way to something better rather than trying to blow it out or calm your emotions.
~It doesn’t matter whether someone else makes horrible decisions that affect my life. That is their lesson to learn. I have my own problems to fix. It’s okay to watch people burn their bridges, peek over my shoulder, and continue to walk away. I have mountains to move thank-you.
~As long as I am being the best ME that I can BE, I am doing just fine.
~When people stab me in the back, I need to simply remove the knife and wipe the blade clean. Confident girls walk away with a smile instead of throwing knives back.
~It doesn’t matter what is spoken of me by anyone who doesn’t truly know me. Smart girls know who is worth their time and who is simply worthless.
~If you don’t like something and you cannot change it, then you must move on or tolerate the discouragement.
~The joy of true friends will always outweigh the betrayal of false ones.
~The love of a few good people is all you really need. Focus on the love you are given, and erase the feelings of negative energy brought on by the weak minded.
~If you want something done, something said, or something changed, it is all up to you and it is all within you. You are the only one who will ever really have your back. Use yourself instead of looking for other people to fight your battles.
~Know that good brings good and bad brings bad. Karma will come around, and in the end everyone will have results for the choices they’ve made. I will not get frustrated with other people’s bad decision making. I have faith that their time will come. And so will mine.
~If I can hold my head high every day, knowing that I am bigger and better than anything that can happen to me, I have done enough for the day.
*That’s what I’ve learned so far just this week. It has been a long week obviously :-)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
"Love means never having to say you're sorry" I beg to differ...
“Love means never having to say your sorry.” Huh? What the hell does that mean anyway?
This quote originates from the 1970 movie Love Story starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal, although it was actually misspoken from the script and was supposed to read “Love means not ever having to say your sorry.” Same deal to me. Love? No apologies? Really?!
What I think this means is that when two people have a love, a real true and deep love for one another, the understanding of the others mind is so in sync and so heartfelt that there is never a miscommunication, mistake, or ill remark that would warrant an apology. No apology could be worthy in any circumstance because everything is simply “understood.” Love can move mountains, part seas, and make the world go ‘round, so why then could love not be exempt from apologies? Could it? Maybe in fairy tales....
Perhaps if you love someone enough, your heart becomes incapable of hurting the one you love. You want to be the best you can be for that person, in all situations, under any circumstances, and if we are honestly giving 100% of our hearts and minds to become the best and most love filled person there is, I doubt there would be many things we would desire to do that should require an apology.
Long gone are the days of Romeo and Juliet people, and nowadays, I feel it’s not real love if you can’t fuck up on occasion and say you’re sorry, forgive, forget, and move on. After all, love is not perfect and we all have our bad moments. Life is not sunshine and lollipops while skipping down a yellow brick road. It can be hard and stressful, but a relationship of true love sees the faults, hears the bitching, and adores you anyway. Love should be unconditional, but not inconsiderate. Love should not be perfect, but perfectly mold-able. People change, life changes, and so does love. It can get big then small and weak then strong, but always comes back to the seed it originally sprouted from and continues to grow forward again.
When you truly love someone in their entirety, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t have to say your sorry for much because the flaws and short comings of that person you love are not seen as a “problem” but a “part” of who you love. Every perfect diamond has a flaw somewhere in there, but it usually gets hidden within the beauty surrounding it. True love oversees the flaws, rather than putting a magnifying glass up to your soul and pinpointing the hairline fractures it contains. True love sees the hidden parts, embraces the beauty within’, and reaches into the depth of your soul bringing up the most brilliant parts of you so that you feel like a beaming ray of sunshine when you catch eyes with that person who got you.
Although I think it would be a beautiful feeling to be so loved and understood by someone that I would NEVER have to say I’m sorry, in reality I think it’s just a cheesy line in a movie. If you want to be realistic, “Love means never having to say fuck-you” would be a better quote for ya.
Besides, I have no desire to strive to be perfect in anyone’s eyes and I’m perfectly fine with that.
This quote originates from the 1970 movie Love Story starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal, although it was actually misspoken from the script and was supposed to read “Love means not ever having to say your sorry.” Same deal to me. Love? No apologies? Really?!
What I think this means is that when two people have a love, a real true and deep love for one another, the understanding of the others mind is so in sync and so heartfelt that there is never a miscommunication, mistake, or ill remark that would warrant an apology. No apology could be worthy in any circumstance because everything is simply “understood.” Love can move mountains, part seas, and make the world go ‘round, so why then could love not be exempt from apologies? Could it? Maybe in fairy tales....
Perhaps if you love someone enough, your heart becomes incapable of hurting the one you love. You want to be the best you can be for that person, in all situations, under any circumstances, and if we are honestly giving 100% of our hearts and minds to become the best and most love filled person there is, I doubt there would be many things we would desire to do that should require an apology.
Long gone are the days of Romeo and Juliet people, and nowadays, I feel it’s not real love if you can’t fuck up on occasion and say you’re sorry, forgive, forget, and move on. After all, love is not perfect and we all have our bad moments. Life is not sunshine and lollipops while skipping down a yellow brick road. It can be hard and stressful, but a relationship of true love sees the faults, hears the bitching, and adores you anyway. Love should be unconditional, but not inconsiderate. Love should not be perfect, but perfectly mold-able. People change, life changes, and so does love. It can get big then small and weak then strong, but always comes back to the seed it originally sprouted from and continues to grow forward again.
When you truly love someone in their entirety, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t have to say your sorry for much because the flaws and short comings of that person you love are not seen as a “problem” but a “part” of who you love. Every perfect diamond has a flaw somewhere in there, but it usually gets hidden within the beauty surrounding it. True love oversees the flaws, rather than putting a magnifying glass up to your soul and pinpointing the hairline fractures it contains. True love sees the hidden parts, embraces the beauty within’, and reaches into the depth of your soul bringing up the most brilliant parts of you so that you feel like a beaming ray of sunshine when you catch eyes with that person who got you.
Although I think it would be a beautiful feeling to be so loved and understood by someone that I would NEVER have to say I’m sorry, in reality I think it’s just a cheesy line in a movie. If you want to be realistic, “Love means never having to say fuck-you” would be a better quote for ya.
Besides, I have no desire to strive to be perfect in anyone’s eyes and I’m perfectly fine with that.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Ball scratching: is this really necessary?
Alright boys, I really need to know what’s up with crotch groping thing. This whole topic has been bouncing around (no pun intended) my mind for a while now, especially since I have a male co-worker who blatantly fondles his ball sack while I am trying to have a serious conversation with him. I can understand a brief scratch here or there, or perhaps a discreet adjustment, but to literally grab hold of the balls and continually rub them for more than 5 seconds, is in my mind, highly inappropriate. Not to mention the fact that you’re looking at me dead on, in the eye, as you’re rubbing your shit down.
I’m not joking here. There is a guy who actually does this. I know that he knows that I know he’s doing it. It is quite obvious when a hand goes to a crotch and jiggles shit around down there. Although I hold eye contact with him, my peripheral vision is pretty sharp, so while my eye balls appear to be looking straight ahead, I can still see a world of action going on below mind you. Sometimes he’s a little red in the face while he does it, and at times, there may be some perspiration on his brow as well. My question is: Is he really itching them? If so, he needs to get his shit checked out because there’s an obvious problem, overgrowth, or irritation going on that needs medical attention (or a good razor). OR, is he doing it for enjoyment? I know it sounds ridiculous, but seriously, I have to wonder if he somehow gets off on making a person uncomfortable by staring them in the eye while rubbing his junk.
I can’t help but gag a little bit as he gropes himself and I’m tired of having to watch this unprofessional display of ball adjusting. I just want to know why, WHY OH WHY, a guy would do this! I don’t grab my tits or caress my cha-cha while asking you a question (although the boys may prefer this as opposed to my typical hands-at-my-sides stance), it just wouldn’t feel right to me. I’d probably burst out laughing at the fact that we pretend it’s not going on. Every time I keep my little poker face on while this guy grabs his junk and then I walk away thinking “WTF was that?” I mean sometimes he rubs it with such aggression, you’d think he was trying to organize a bag of prunes in his briefs. It’s rude and disgusting and I want answers. Give me SOMETHING.
I’m not joking here. There is a guy who actually does this. I know that he knows that I know he’s doing it. It is quite obvious when a hand goes to a crotch and jiggles shit around down there. Although I hold eye contact with him, my peripheral vision is pretty sharp, so while my eye balls appear to be looking straight ahead, I can still see a world of action going on below mind you. Sometimes he’s a little red in the face while he does it, and at times, there may be some perspiration on his brow as well. My question is: Is he really itching them? If so, he needs to get his shit checked out because there’s an obvious problem, overgrowth, or irritation going on that needs medical attention (or a good razor). OR, is he doing it for enjoyment? I know it sounds ridiculous, but seriously, I have to wonder if he somehow gets off on making a person uncomfortable by staring them in the eye while rubbing his junk.
I can’t help but gag a little bit as he gropes himself and I’m tired of having to watch this unprofessional display of ball adjusting. I just want to know why, WHY OH WHY, a guy would do this! I don’t grab my tits or caress my cha-cha while asking you a question (although the boys may prefer this as opposed to my typical hands-at-my-sides stance), it just wouldn’t feel right to me. I’d probably burst out laughing at the fact that we pretend it’s not going on. Every time I keep my little poker face on while this guy grabs his junk and then I walk away thinking “WTF was that?” I mean sometimes he rubs it with such aggression, you’d think he was trying to organize a bag of prunes in his briefs. It’s rude and disgusting and I want answers. Give me SOMETHING.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Catcher in The Rye: How it caught my eye
I always wanted to read this book and finally got around to it. It’s a very quick read and I finished it in two nights, even going back to read certain parts that struck me as interesting or seemed significantly consequential. I still haven’t decided if I love it or not, but I know I didn’t hate it. I'm not sure how I feel yet!
The author J.D. Salinger definitely has a specific writing style, which quickly became predictable, and that’s not a bad thing. I felt as if I myself could mold my mind into Holden’s (the main character) and write an entire chapter from the thought process of this boy. Often times when the character would say something he felt strongly about he would add a “really” in there somewhere after the statement. Such as, "I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can." He also uses many definite words such as “always” or “never” in his thoughts. Such as, “People never notice anything” and “People always think somethings all true.” "Catholics are always trying to figure out if you're Catholic." It’s funny though, because he really has a point there. I liked how this helped you bond with Holden’s personality and you can get an idea of how a character views life right from the very start.
So here are some positives on the book:
There were certain parts in the book where I felt compelled to reread because I just knew there was something special about them, the first one is where he finally decides to leave Pencey college in the middle of the night (having already been kicked out) and a quarrel with his roommate finally made him get off his ass and walk out. “When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down that goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I'll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck.” I found the irony of his cockiness towards leaving and the fact that he almost tumbled his way out the door to be humorous. Another favorite is "You ought to go to a boy's school sometimes. Try it sometime," I said. "It's full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac some day, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day, and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques. The guys that are on the basketball team stick together, the goddam intellectuals stick together, the guys that play bridge stick together. Even the guys that belong to the goddam Book-of-the-Month Club stick together."
That made me laugh for sure.
Holden also has certain thoughts about girls and sex, which if you think deeply enough about you sort of feel what kind of a guy he is. He just hasn’t found himself and he has these bits of insecurity, although he acts like somewhat of a know-it-all when he speaks. While he thinks he’s sexy and suave, he still has that nervous edge which makes me uncomfortable, because I have met boys like him... Someone who sees themselves as a sex maniac, and yet Holden was still a virgin. A few things he said about girls that I found to be particularly interesting were:
“If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody.”
“Girls. You never know what they're going to think.”
“I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do like her, then you're supposed to like her face, and if you like her face, you ought to be careful about doing crumby stuff to it, like squirting water all over it. It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.”
“Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact.”
“I wouldn't mind being pretty good at that stuff. Half the time, if you really want to know the truth, when I'm horsing around with a girl, I have a helluva lot of trouble just finding what I'm looking for, for God's sake, if you know what I mean. Take this girl that I just missed having sexual intercourse with, that I told you about. It took me about an hour to just get her goddam brassière off. By the time I did get it off, she was about ready to spit in my eye.”
“She was terrific to hold hands with. Most girls, if you hold hands with them, their goddam hand dies on you, or else they think they have to keep moving their hands all the time, as if they were afraid they'd bore you or something. Jane was different. We'd get into a goddam movie or something, and right away we'd start holding hands, and we won't quit till the movie was over. And without changing the position or making a deal out of it. You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were.”
I couldn’t decide if Holden was a really deep thinker who at times over analyzed things and had to throw negativity around to boost his ego, or if he was a bi-polar disaster teetering on a cliff built of ADHD and depression. It could swing both ways. At times he seems to be content in life and yet he feels safety in knowing that there’s an atomic bomb invented and hopes to one day sit on top of it if there is ever another war. The kid is all over the place. I still couldn’t put the book down because I was dying to know what happened to him, the problem is, I am still dying to know what happened to him!
On to the negatives:
Ugh. I hate to do this because at times, I’m a fan of not knowing how things turn out and leaving it up to the reader to decide what happened, but honestly? There were so many unanswered questions building up in my head, that I hoped at least some of them would be answered!
First of all, he speaks of “old Jane” from back in the day. They had a deep friendship/love when they were younger and he got enraged with jealousy when he found out his arrogant roommate had a date with her. This build up of anger eventually caused a fist fight in the dorm and drove Holden to get the hell out of Pencey without a clue of where he was going. Ok, so I’m a sucker for a good love story! This Jane girl peaked my interest obviously. Holden and her used to play checkers on her front porch and she would always keep all of her kings in the back row. Just because she wanted to. She liked the way they looked all lined up in the back. Holden requested that his roommate ask her one simple question that night, which is “Did she still keep all of her kings in the back row?” His roommate didn’t ask her that question and it drove Holden crazy. Old Jane kept popping up in his mind throughout the entire novel. It agonized the hell out of me. He was always battling this desire to call her. He’d sit and think about it for an hour. He’d sit in a phone booth forever and never end up calling and making excuses on why he didn't. It tortured me because I wanted to know if there was a love there. Were they meant to be? How would she respond to his phone call? Most importantly, did she still keep all of her the kings in the back row? The world will never know and it drives me crazy.
Also, he constantly asks this question to anyone and everyone in the novel about the ducks in central park, like this: “I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park South. I was wondering if it would be frozen over when I got home, and if it was, where did the ducks go? I was wondering where the ducks went when the lagoon got all icy and frozen over. I wondered if some guy came in a truck and took them away to a zoo or something. Or if they just flew away.” He asks this question to his roommates, cab drivers, bar tenders, anyone he gets in contact with would get hit with this question. Everyone gets annoyed with it and usually responds by “how the hell should I know!” or “why do you care?” It drove Holden nuts not getting a correct answer, and eventually it drove me nuts too because it kept coming up! I still don’t know where the hell the ducks go and if someone could tell me, I’d feel so much better!
Then there’s an old teacher of his he visits. They have some smokes and drinks and pretty good conversation, his teacher hands him a piece of paper that says, “The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to die humbly for one.” This a remarkable piece of knowledge and I automatically liked this character. Holden crashed on this man’s couch and woke up in the night to this man’s hand sort of patting his head. He panicked and thought he was being hit on or something and bolted out of there. The reader never will know if this man had bad or good intentions or what really happened that night. I liked this old teacher of his and I really wanted to know if he was good or bad. Ugh, drives me nuts.
Finally, I really really wanted to know how Holden turned out. How did he finally figure out his life and get his shit together? Did he ever call Jane or figure out where the damn ducks go when the pond freezes? These unanswered questions pick at my brain. The book was like one of those relationships you have with a guy where everything is going along well, you’re growing to know each other and to accept the flaws and eventually gain trust as a couple and suddenly the relationship ends and you’re not sure why, but you never truly get any closure, so you’re always left wondering what could have happened or try to put the pieces back together in your head. Then again, some relationships don’t need closure, because you enjoyed the ride enough and looking back on the memories you can just take it for what it was. That is how this book played out for me, I still want to read it again though because I think there’s a lot of hidden things that are only intended to be picked up the second or third time around.
One of the most monumental lines in the entire book for me was the last line. “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
Think about it...
The author J.D. Salinger definitely has a specific writing style, which quickly became predictable, and that’s not a bad thing. I felt as if I myself could mold my mind into Holden’s (the main character) and write an entire chapter from the thought process of this boy. Often times when the character would say something he felt strongly about he would add a “really” in there somewhere after the statement. Such as, "I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can." He also uses many definite words such as “always” or “never” in his thoughts. Such as, “People never notice anything” and “People always think somethings all true.” "Catholics are always trying to figure out if you're Catholic." It’s funny though, because he really has a point there. I liked how this helped you bond with Holden’s personality and you can get an idea of how a character views life right from the very start.
So here are some positives on the book:
There were certain parts in the book where I felt compelled to reread because I just knew there was something special about them, the first one is where he finally decides to leave Pencey college in the middle of the night (having already been kicked out) and a quarrel with his roommate finally made him get off his ass and walk out. “When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down that goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I'll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck.” I found the irony of his cockiness towards leaving and the fact that he almost tumbled his way out the door to be humorous. Another favorite is "You ought to go to a boy's school sometimes. Try it sometime," I said. "It's full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac some day, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day, and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques. The guys that are on the basketball team stick together, the goddam intellectuals stick together, the guys that play bridge stick together. Even the guys that belong to the goddam Book-of-the-Month Club stick together."
That made me laugh for sure.
Holden also has certain thoughts about girls and sex, which if you think deeply enough about you sort of feel what kind of a guy he is. He just hasn’t found himself and he has these bits of insecurity, although he acts like somewhat of a know-it-all when he speaks. While he thinks he’s sexy and suave, he still has that nervous edge which makes me uncomfortable, because I have met boys like him... Someone who sees themselves as a sex maniac, and yet Holden was still a virgin. A few things he said about girls that I found to be particularly interesting were:
“If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody.”
“Girls. You never know what they're going to think.”
“I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do like her, then you're supposed to like her face, and if you like her face, you ought to be careful about doing crumby stuff to it, like squirting water all over it. It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.”
“Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact.”
“I wouldn't mind being pretty good at that stuff. Half the time, if you really want to know the truth, when I'm horsing around with a girl, I have a helluva lot of trouble just finding what I'm looking for, for God's sake, if you know what I mean. Take this girl that I just missed having sexual intercourse with, that I told you about. It took me about an hour to just get her goddam brassière off. By the time I did get it off, she was about ready to spit in my eye.”
“She was terrific to hold hands with. Most girls, if you hold hands with them, their goddam hand dies on you, or else they think they have to keep moving their hands all the time, as if they were afraid they'd bore you or something. Jane was different. We'd get into a goddam movie or something, and right away we'd start holding hands, and we won't quit till the movie was over. And without changing the position or making a deal out of it. You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were.”
I couldn’t decide if Holden was a really deep thinker who at times over analyzed things and had to throw negativity around to boost his ego, or if he was a bi-polar disaster teetering on a cliff built of ADHD and depression. It could swing both ways. At times he seems to be content in life and yet he feels safety in knowing that there’s an atomic bomb invented and hopes to one day sit on top of it if there is ever another war. The kid is all over the place. I still couldn’t put the book down because I was dying to know what happened to him, the problem is, I am still dying to know what happened to him!
On to the negatives:
Ugh. I hate to do this because at times, I’m a fan of not knowing how things turn out and leaving it up to the reader to decide what happened, but honestly? There were so many unanswered questions building up in my head, that I hoped at least some of them would be answered!
First of all, he speaks of “old Jane” from back in the day. They had a deep friendship/love when they were younger and he got enraged with jealousy when he found out his arrogant roommate had a date with her. This build up of anger eventually caused a fist fight in the dorm and drove Holden to get the hell out of Pencey without a clue of where he was going. Ok, so I’m a sucker for a good love story! This Jane girl peaked my interest obviously. Holden and her used to play checkers on her front porch and she would always keep all of her kings in the back row. Just because she wanted to. She liked the way they looked all lined up in the back. Holden requested that his roommate ask her one simple question that night, which is “Did she still keep all of her kings in the back row?” His roommate didn’t ask her that question and it drove Holden crazy. Old Jane kept popping up in his mind throughout the entire novel. It agonized the hell out of me. He was always battling this desire to call her. He’d sit and think about it for an hour. He’d sit in a phone booth forever and never end up calling and making excuses on why he didn't. It tortured me because I wanted to know if there was a love there. Were they meant to be? How would she respond to his phone call? Most importantly, did she still keep all of her the kings in the back row? The world will never know and it drives me crazy.
Also, he constantly asks this question to anyone and everyone in the novel about the ducks in central park, like this: “I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park South. I was wondering if it would be frozen over when I got home, and if it was, where did the ducks go? I was wondering where the ducks went when the lagoon got all icy and frozen over. I wondered if some guy came in a truck and took them away to a zoo or something. Or if they just flew away.” He asks this question to his roommates, cab drivers, bar tenders, anyone he gets in contact with would get hit with this question. Everyone gets annoyed with it and usually responds by “how the hell should I know!” or “why do you care?” It drove Holden nuts not getting a correct answer, and eventually it drove me nuts too because it kept coming up! I still don’t know where the hell the ducks go and if someone could tell me, I’d feel so much better!
Then there’s an old teacher of his he visits. They have some smokes and drinks and pretty good conversation, his teacher hands him a piece of paper that says, “The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to die humbly for one.” This a remarkable piece of knowledge and I automatically liked this character. Holden crashed on this man’s couch and woke up in the night to this man’s hand sort of patting his head. He panicked and thought he was being hit on or something and bolted out of there. The reader never will know if this man had bad or good intentions or what really happened that night. I liked this old teacher of his and I really wanted to know if he was good or bad. Ugh, drives me nuts.
Finally, I really really wanted to know how Holden turned out. How did he finally figure out his life and get his shit together? Did he ever call Jane or figure out where the damn ducks go when the pond freezes? These unanswered questions pick at my brain. The book was like one of those relationships you have with a guy where everything is going along well, you’re growing to know each other and to accept the flaws and eventually gain trust as a couple and suddenly the relationship ends and you’re not sure why, but you never truly get any closure, so you’re always left wondering what could have happened or try to put the pieces back together in your head. Then again, some relationships don’t need closure, because you enjoyed the ride enough and looking back on the memories you can just take it for what it was. That is how this book played out for me, I still want to read it again though because I think there’s a lot of hidden things that are only intended to be picked up the second or third time around.
One of the most monumental lines in the entire book for me was the last line. “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
Think about it...
Monday, April 4, 2011
The power of a button.
I officially sewed a button back onto my coat tonight in less than 10 minutes! This is a huge improvement from the last time I sewed a button on a coat about 8 months ago where it took me almost half hour. Well, it took 10 minutes to find the mini travel needle and thread kit I have (I got it as a “going to college” gift almost 15 years ago and only one third of a thimble sized spool of thread has been used). It took another 5 minutes to tie the knot, another 5 to sew it only to have it undo itself in 10 seconds and then another 10 to resew it. It fell off 2 days later and of course I had to go back home and have my mom do it the RIGHT way. I really should have watched her....
I have the kind of mom who knows how to do things like that. She sewed stuff. She got stains out of things. She kept the house fresh and clean. She was a home maker and the ideal “Mom” to all of my friends. I was too busy reading TEEN magazine and flirting with boys to be bothered by such things. I had the kind of mom that made my bed every morning and never asked me to help wash dishes. I didn’t even know how to use a washer and dryer until I went to college and my roommates had to teach me. I still can’t get stains out and usually throw things away and buy new stuff rather than deal with the frustration. Ask me how to apply mascara and shop for the perfect pair of shoes and I’m your girl. I don’t sew things or crochet things (although I think I’d be excellent at it), I don’t have the patience for it, and I always seem to be in the middle of a stitch and the needle pops through the other side and slides right underneath my thumb nail. The little prick. After my button sewing tonight, I have the perfect little circle of red blood at the base of my finger where the skin ends and the nail starts to grow. It hurts. (hey is that what the thimble thing is for?) I got the button on though!
The best part of all this though? My kid was rooting me on the whole time. He was fascinated by this as he has NEVER in his 4 years of life seen my dusty little needle and thread kit. He thought I was the coolest, most talented mom in the world for being able to use a needle and sew. He was so cute in his fuzzy little pajamas, laying on his belly with his hands cradling his face and watching with big eyes as I attempted to thread the needle. “Wow, Mommy you’re doing really really good!” He cheered when I finally got the thread through the eye of the needle (that’s what it’s called right?) I laughed at his intrigue with the whole thing. It kept me going though. “Can’t quit until you get it right honey. You start something you gotta finish it. You can do anything you set you’re mind to. Winners never quit and quitters never win.” I’m spitting out these little lessons as I’m sewing away. Without the kid watching my every move, I probably would have said screw this and had my husband take it to the tailor. Yes, he takes every item of clothes that has ever needed a button replaced or a rip to be sewn to his tailor because he knows that he married a woman who doesn’t sew. The tailor is awesome though and usually just does it for free now.
I’m not saying I intend to sew again or that I’m certain this button will stay put. I’m just proud I got the damn thing on! It will likely end up in the tailor shop or on my mom’s kitchen table getting done the proper way, BUT the kid will never need to know this and so in his eyes he’ll still think his mom is a genius with a little sewing kit who can fix a broken button :)
I have the kind of mom who knows how to do things like that. She sewed stuff. She got stains out of things. She kept the house fresh and clean. She was a home maker and the ideal “Mom” to all of my friends. I was too busy reading TEEN magazine and flirting with boys to be bothered by such things. I had the kind of mom that made my bed every morning and never asked me to help wash dishes. I didn’t even know how to use a washer and dryer until I went to college and my roommates had to teach me. I still can’t get stains out and usually throw things away and buy new stuff rather than deal with the frustration. Ask me how to apply mascara and shop for the perfect pair of shoes and I’m your girl. I don’t sew things or crochet things (although I think I’d be excellent at it), I don’t have the patience for it, and I always seem to be in the middle of a stitch and the needle pops through the other side and slides right underneath my thumb nail. The little prick. After my button sewing tonight, I have the perfect little circle of red blood at the base of my finger where the skin ends and the nail starts to grow. It hurts. (hey is that what the thimble thing is for?) I got the button on though!
The best part of all this though? My kid was rooting me on the whole time. He was fascinated by this as he has NEVER in his 4 years of life seen my dusty little needle and thread kit. He thought I was the coolest, most talented mom in the world for being able to use a needle and sew. He was so cute in his fuzzy little pajamas, laying on his belly with his hands cradling his face and watching with big eyes as I attempted to thread the needle. “Wow, Mommy you’re doing really really good!” He cheered when I finally got the thread through the eye of the needle (that’s what it’s called right?) I laughed at his intrigue with the whole thing. It kept me going though. “Can’t quit until you get it right honey. You start something you gotta finish it. You can do anything you set you’re mind to. Winners never quit and quitters never win.” I’m spitting out these little lessons as I’m sewing away. Without the kid watching my every move, I probably would have said screw this and had my husband take it to the tailor. Yes, he takes every item of clothes that has ever needed a button replaced or a rip to be sewn to his tailor because he knows that he married a woman who doesn’t sew. The tailor is awesome though and usually just does it for free now.
I’m not saying I intend to sew again or that I’m certain this button will stay put. I’m just proud I got the damn thing on! It will likely end up in the tailor shop or on my mom’s kitchen table getting done the proper way, BUT the kid will never need to know this and so in his eyes he’ll still think his mom is a genius with a little sewing kit who can fix a broken button :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Polygamy: Not so crazy?
Ok I’m guilty! I watch the show Sister Wives and I can’t stop! There is something fascinating about a man who can willingly admit to having 4 wives and 18 some kids combined to the entire world. The strange part? Through all the chaos and stress, at the end of the day, they are all HAPPY. It’s true. They all claim to love their life and this huge family they have built together. I'm not even sure of their entire religious beliefs, but all I know is that they belief "love should be multiplied and not divided." Is it really that simple?
Honestly, I have to say, I don’t know how in the hell this Kody Brown guy does it. Can you imagine trying to please FOUR women? One is hard enough! How do you balance all of the bills and still play a main role in every child’s life while trying to tend to the individual needs of each woman? I get anxiety just thinking about it. I always thought of polygamy as this strange/ sick thing that was sinful and gross, but after watching the show (and I can’t believe I’m going to say this...) it actually kind of makes sense in a twisted sort of way and Kody Brown is kind of a likable guy! (I know! I’m crazy.)
Being one of 4 wives would have advantages after all...you'd never be without a babysitter, even with all those people, you could still find alone time, you could always have a woman nearby to confide in, get advice, or help you roast a turkey... If you had a headache or PMS or just aren't in the mood, you could simply pass him onto the next one (heehee that was a joke)
Here’s the thing. This world is messed up. Look around you. Look at the television shows that reach top ratings. There’s teenagers getting famous due to unwed pregnancy, Jersey Shore guidos having multiple sex partners and brag about it, and not to mention the nipped and tucked reality shows such as The Real Housewives and Dr. 90210. People have issues and we relish in it. We eat it up. My Strange Addiction broadcasts a guy in love with a life sized sex doll and a woman who has been eating the insides of couch cushions for 15 years. People are frickin’ crazy! But the Sister Wives? They seem as sweet and normal as a lady serving food in a cafeteria or a nurse taking your blood pressure. The kids are normal. There would be absolutely no need for nanny 911 in this house. They abide by the rules and everything is in order. “They” are some of the most normal / sane minded people I have ever seen on a reality show. What does that tell you about this world?
Granted, Kody Brown may be a sex addict, we’ll never know. He may be claiming polygamy as an excuse for wanting to satisfy his desire to be with multiple women...but I have to say, I don’t think so. I think he truly loves every woman in their own way. Which makes me wonder....If the roles were reversed and if this was acceptable by society to fall in love with multiple men, date them, and eventually marry as many men as I wanted. Would I?
Hmmm....If all of the men were team polygamy and I didn’t have to worry about breaking up any jealous fist fights, and if I never met my current husband of course, well, perhaps I could? Yes, I can feel myself sliding into hell as I type this, but THINK about it! We have all loved different people for different reasons and I always say relationships are about timing. I can see it now... One would be the book smart type who could answer any computer questions I had and prefer to do crossword puzzles and play scrabble with me. Another would be the “fix it” guy who would always have my car issues taken care of, the toilet flushing correctly, and build me my dream closet by hand. Another would be my sporty guy who would enjoy playing tennis,working out, and hiking. Another would be the guy who loves to cook and garden and photograph our life. Of course you’d have to have the party guy in the mix. Another would be.... OK I’m getting way out of hand here, and besides, my husband’s traits are all I’d ever really need to be happy so I could never complain about the way things are....
BUT, the bottom line is this: Don’t judge people. I know a lot of people who have a lot of issues, and I would rather trust the women on Sister Wives to watch my child than some women that I know. They are endearing and are honestly trying to do the best that they know how in their life. I respect people who are honest and can cry about the things that bother them, talk about the things that concern them, and forgive the small mistakes of others. These women do that. I’m not saying they’re some sort of role models in society, or that they’re better for being polygamists, but I am proud that they stepped outside the box and let the cameras into their lives, because really? They’re not bad people. I admire anyone who doesn’t fall victim to the preconceived notions of society, and so to the Brown family all I have to say is “If it works for you and makes you a better person and a happier person, than more power to you.”
Honestly, I have to say, I don’t know how in the hell this Kody Brown guy does it. Can you imagine trying to please FOUR women? One is hard enough! How do you balance all of the bills and still play a main role in every child’s life while trying to tend to the individual needs of each woman? I get anxiety just thinking about it. I always thought of polygamy as this strange/ sick thing that was sinful and gross, but after watching the show (and I can’t believe I’m going to say this...) it actually kind of makes sense in a twisted sort of way and Kody Brown is kind of a likable guy! (I know! I’m crazy.)
Being one of 4 wives would have advantages after all...you'd never be without a babysitter, even with all those people, you could still find alone time, you could always have a woman nearby to confide in, get advice, or help you roast a turkey... If you had a headache or PMS or just aren't in the mood, you could simply pass him onto the next one (heehee that was a joke)
Here’s the thing. This world is messed up. Look around you. Look at the television shows that reach top ratings. There’s teenagers getting famous due to unwed pregnancy, Jersey Shore guidos having multiple sex partners and brag about it, and not to mention the nipped and tucked reality shows such as The Real Housewives and Dr. 90210. People have issues and we relish in it. We eat it up. My Strange Addiction broadcasts a guy in love with a life sized sex doll and a woman who has been eating the insides of couch cushions for 15 years. People are frickin’ crazy! But the Sister Wives? They seem as sweet and normal as a lady serving food in a cafeteria or a nurse taking your blood pressure. The kids are normal. There would be absolutely no need for nanny 911 in this house. They abide by the rules and everything is in order. “They” are some of the most normal / sane minded people I have ever seen on a reality show. What does that tell you about this world?
Granted, Kody Brown may be a sex addict, we’ll never know. He may be claiming polygamy as an excuse for wanting to satisfy his desire to be with multiple women...but I have to say, I don’t think so. I think he truly loves every woman in their own way. Which makes me wonder....If the roles were reversed and if this was acceptable by society to fall in love with multiple men, date them, and eventually marry as many men as I wanted. Would I?
Hmmm....If all of the men were team polygamy and I didn’t have to worry about breaking up any jealous fist fights, and if I never met my current husband of course, well, perhaps I could? Yes, I can feel myself sliding into hell as I type this, but THINK about it! We have all loved different people for different reasons and I always say relationships are about timing. I can see it now... One would be the book smart type who could answer any computer questions I had and prefer to do crossword puzzles and play scrabble with me. Another would be the “fix it” guy who would always have my car issues taken care of, the toilet flushing correctly, and build me my dream closet by hand. Another would be my sporty guy who would enjoy playing tennis,working out, and hiking. Another would be the guy who loves to cook and garden and photograph our life. Of course you’d have to have the party guy in the mix. Another would be.... OK I’m getting way out of hand here, and besides, my husband’s traits are all I’d ever really need to be happy so I could never complain about the way things are....
BUT, the bottom line is this: Don’t judge people. I know a lot of people who have a lot of issues, and I would rather trust the women on Sister Wives to watch my child than some women that I know. They are endearing and are honestly trying to do the best that they know how in their life. I respect people who are honest and can cry about the things that bother them, talk about the things that concern them, and forgive the small mistakes of others. These women do that. I’m not saying they’re some sort of role models in society, or that they’re better for being polygamists, but I am proud that they stepped outside the box and let the cameras into their lives, because really? They’re not bad people. I admire anyone who doesn’t fall victim to the preconceived notions of society, and so to the Brown family all I have to say is “If it works for you and makes you a better person and a happier person, than more power to you.”
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