The toes? They are cold 24/7. And my fingers? Let’s just say the tips are so rarely blessed with blood flow that I instinctively do a double take when they’re actually pink. I have resorted to wearing fuzzy gloves at work so my wrists don’t freeze upon contact with the ceramic counter when I’m typing. These are the things we resort to when we’re deep in the throes of the post tis-the-season, we’re over-the-holidays, enough with this bullshit let’s move onto Spring already mode.
Winter has become treacherous and after running from my garage to the house while the wind ripped threw my hair and left a trail of icicles upon my scalp tonight I screamed obscenities (under my tongue as I had the kid in tow) toward my unashamed dislike for this bitter heartless vengeful f’ing Winter.
Take off the gloves, the scarf, the coat, the boots, the anger and ahhh I’m in my cozy home again. But my pants are cold. I’m still cold! Up the stairs I go into my closet and put on my fuzzy zebra fleece lounge pants (my saving grace from this spiteful cold), put on a shirt and another shirt and a sweatshirt and the 3-layered-fleece-socks that are so thick I had to buy a size larger boot just so they could fit inside. And ahhh...I think I fixed it now. Just as I feel human again I peer up at my shoe rack and see a glisten of something...A little shimmer of...what is that?
I lean in closer and sure shit there it is. This perfectly orchestrated octagon-ally woven piece of artwork created by none other than a spider. It was displayed like some sort of “ha-ha looky what I made” type of web. An intricate design laid perfectly within the outward edge of my strappy stiletto heel. My favorite glistening pink with a gold finish 4 inch pointy toed stiletto. This flickering web was spun tip to heel and not beyond.
Who? What? Where is this little bastard? Spiders are NOT allowed in my closet!
NOBODY and NO INSECT is allowed by my beloved footwear. The ONLY thing allowed to spin within the confines of my dazzling arches is my feet when they’re spinning about on the dance floor. Spiders? Spinning webs? In MY shoes? Oh hell no. But I stared at it in awe. The remarkable ability of this spider left me speechless. He must be a genius...oh wait it must be a she. Plus she picked the most perfect shoe. Middle of the rack. At eye level. Is it a sign? I pondered what this could mean for a good 3 minutes until it dawned on me...
The cold weather has frozen my brain into trying to read a message from a damn spider web.
The only thing that it means is this : WINTER HAS BECOME TOO LONG WHEN YOUR SUMMER FOOTWEAR STARTS TO GET COVERED IN COBWEBS.
The end.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Melicious Peanut Butter Cookies
I’m proud so I’ll share:
*Melicious Peanut Butter Cookies
3 tbsp. whole-wheat flour
1 tbsp. wheat germ
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 cup Sugar (In the raw)
2 tbsp. coconut palm sugar
1/2 tsp. celtic sea salt
1/2 cup chunky peanut butter
1/2 banana (very very ripe and mushy)
1/2 tsp. vanilla
*I used all organic ingredients of course.
Mix the first 6 ingredients in a bowl then add in your peanut butter, banana, and vanilla.
Scoop round balls of dough onto a cookies sheet (I used a cookie scooper and lightly sprayed my pan with extra virgin olive oil). Put them into a 350 degree oven for 9 minutes. They will look under done when you take them out. Cool for a few minutes and remove from pan.
They will be warm and gooey and bring an immediate smile to your face. Next time I will double or even triple this recipe as they only make about 14 cookies and they are not likely to last long!
You’re welcome.
*Melicious = delicious things that Mel creates.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
~Lessons in the check-out lane~
Oh the lovely check-out lane. The sheer excitement of gambling on which lane will get you to the cashier the quickest. Peeking at peoples carts to see how long it will take them to check out and imagining time spans in your head. A bunch of clothes on multiple hangars? Nope not going in that lane. Heaping piles of multiple snacks and a seat filled with toiletries? Lower rack filled up? Nope not going in that lane either. Oh look! Someone thought another lane would be quicker and switched to the next register’s line. I slide into their spot thinking I lucked out as there were only 2 people now in this lane.
Turns out that doesn’t matter if the cashier is the slowest checker on the planet.
And she was. Not because she was chatty or disabled or anything, but she had this look of confusion on her face. Deep agitation. It led me to believe she wears that expression a lot judging from the crater deep lines between her brows. Every scan confused her. She’d scan an item, purse her lips, furrow her brow and look it up and down through her little spectacles after she scanned it. Then she’d give the same look to the screen. Up and down glance of confusion. And then she’d place it in the bag and repeat. I wanted to ask her “What are you so confused about!?” I thought it at least 72 times during a 5 minute period.
What confused me though was the guy checking out ahead of me. He was a mid thirties Dad wearing adidas pants and toting his 2 boys with him both in full on snow suits. I’d say the kids were 6 and 8. The 8 year old continuously slapped the other one on his head with this pair of gloves and the younger kid let him. So he hit harder and harder. Then he hit him in the face. Over and over. The Dad looked at the older boy a few times and kept saying the same thing “Hey now. You better stop that or else...” It continued, he’d repeat the same phrase and the little boy would repeatedly get his head beat by the gloves. I kept wondering “What is this ‘what else’ you’re speaking of?” What a meaningless noneffective threat! Bad parenting mister. I kept giving the glove slapper the stink eye and he’d give me this sheepish grin back. He even rolled his eyes at me. It pissed me off and you do NOT want to fuck with me when I am hungover. I had to bite my tongue to not yell “Knock it off!”
I finally looked around to see if anyone else was witnessing this episode of naughty behavior and lackadaisical parenting. I finally caught eyes with the guy behind me in line and he looked at me and said one sentence “I’m going to start a reality show called Clueless in America,” and shook his head.
He was pushing 350 and had a lovely beer gut protruding out the bottom of a 2-sizes-too-small sweatshirt. To top it off his fly was down. It’s cold as hell out dude! You didn’t feel the breeze?! Ha! Clueless in America? Yeah good luck with that one.
I turned back around so he wouldn’t see my jaw drop.
Turns out that doesn’t matter if the cashier is the slowest checker on the planet.
And she was. Not because she was chatty or disabled or anything, but she had this look of confusion on her face. Deep agitation. It led me to believe she wears that expression a lot judging from the crater deep lines between her brows. Every scan confused her. She’d scan an item, purse her lips, furrow her brow and look it up and down through her little spectacles after she scanned it. Then she’d give the same look to the screen. Up and down glance of confusion. And then she’d place it in the bag and repeat. I wanted to ask her “What are you so confused about!?” I thought it at least 72 times during a 5 minute period.
What confused me though was the guy checking out ahead of me. He was a mid thirties Dad wearing adidas pants and toting his 2 boys with him both in full on snow suits. I’d say the kids were 6 and 8. The 8 year old continuously slapped the other one on his head with this pair of gloves and the younger kid let him. So he hit harder and harder. Then he hit him in the face. Over and over. The Dad looked at the older boy a few times and kept saying the same thing “Hey now. You better stop that or else...” It continued, he’d repeat the same phrase and the little boy would repeatedly get his head beat by the gloves. I kept wondering “What is this ‘what else’ you’re speaking of?” What a meaningless noneffective threat! Bad parenting mister. I kept giving the glove slapper the stink eye and he’d give me this sheepish grin back. He even rolled his eyes at me. It pissed me off and you do NOT want to fuck with me when I am hungover. I had to bite my tongue to not yell “Knock it off!”
I finally looked around to see if anyone else was witnessing this episode of naughty behavior and lackadaisical parenting. I finally caught eyes with the guy behind me in line and he looked at me and said one sentence “I’m going to start a reality show called Clueless in America,” and shook his head.
He was pushing 350 and had a lovely beer gut protruding out the bottom of a 2-sizes-too-small sweatshirt. To top it off his fly was down. It’s cold as hell out dude! You didn’t feel the breeze?! Ha! Clueless in America? Yeah good luck with that one.
I turned back around so he wouldn’t see my jaw drop.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
The mysterious post-it that changed my life
Books. I love them so much that the very word makes my insides flutter. I was going through some old books today as I do on occasion and found a tiny triangle of yellow paper jetting out from the top of a book by Maya Angelou, marking the page of one of my most beloved poems “Phenomenal Woman.” Right away I knew what it said and was flooded with memories of the day I found those words written on a post it that someone had left on their table at Barnes&Noble.
It was a chilly December day in 2002 and I found myself in a bookstore of course. I remember I was wearing a new pair of black boots and feeling uncomfortable about how they clicked on the floor so I tried to stay on carpeted areas except for when I went and bought a latte at the Starbucks in the center. I sat down on a table and there on this yellow post it, written in black marker bold and loud as if it was directed right to me were the words:
“If you want different you have to do different”
That was all it said. No one was around to claim the post-it and that whimsical imagination I have thought “Huh. What if this is a sign and I was meant to be brought to this table to read this?” I decided to read them again. And again. Those words changed the very direction of my life that day and I never knew who to thank for it. Nine words. That’s all it took. I remember deciding to end yet another relationship that I knew was headed nowhere. I deleted phone numbers of people that I knew didn’t benefit my life. It was like this light bulb turned on and followed me everywhere. Every time I didn’t like something about my life I remembered those words “If you want different you have to do different.”
I skipped to my car when I left just to feel my heart race. I was a new ME. I was in control of my destiny.
I took that post-it home with me that day and used it as a book marker so I’d never forget it’s impact. Finding it today gave me goose bumps and I realized that over the years I haven’t always lived by those words.
I stapled that post-it to a piece of my journal paper the following summer as it was getting a little worn. I was sitting by my pool at my apartment complex sometime in July of 2002 and I wrote these words underneath it:
You.
Yes you. Only YOU have the power to change the things in your life.
If you don’t like what you’re getting then change what you’re doing.
If you don’t like how you’re feeling then change how you’re thinking.
If you don’t like what you’re seeing then change your perception.
If you don’t like someone then change how you treat them.
If you feel you deserve better, then strengthen your priorities.
If you want to improve yourself then raise your standards.
If you want to blame someone then go find a mirror.
You are your own worst enemy and your own best friend it is up to you to figure out how to iron out the wrinkles of inner conflicts and feel complete and beautiful in your own skin.
Repeat this until it sinks in.
First of all, how was I so smart in my early 20‘s?! Ha ha. And the moral of this blog is this: The beauty of life is that at any given moment you can recreate yourself and redirect your life if you just fix YOU. Oh and good advice never gets old as long as you remember to follow it :)
It was a chilly December day in 2002 and I found myself in a bookstore of course. I remember I was wearing a new pair of black boots and feeling uncomfortable about how they clicked on the floor so I tried to stay on carpeted areas except for when I went and bought a latte at the Starbucks in the center. I sat down on a table and there on this yellow post it, written in black marker bold and loud as if it was directed right to me were the words:
“If you want different you have to do different”
That was all it said. No one was around to claim the post-it and that whimsical imagination I have thought “Huh. What if this is a sign and I was meant to be brought to this table to read this?” I decided to read them again. And again. Those words changed the very direction of my life that day and I never knew who to thank for it. Nine words. That’s all it took. I remember deciding to end yet another relationship that I knew was headed nowhere. I deleted phone numbers of people that I knew didn’t benefit my life. It was like this light bulb turned on and followed me everywhere. Every time I didn’t like something about my life I remembered those words “If you want different you have to do different.”
I skipped to my car when I left just to feel my heart race. I was a new ME. I was in control of my destiny.
I took that post-it home with me that day and used it as a book marker so I’d never forget it’s impact. Finding it today gave me goose bumps and I realized that over the years I haven’t always lived by those words.
I stapled that post-it to a piece of my journal paper the following summer as it was getting a little worn. I was sitting by my pool at my apartment complex sometime in July of 2002 and I wrote these words underneath it:
You.
Yes you. Only YOU have the power to change the things in your life.
If you don’t like what you’re getting then change what you’re doing.
If you don’t like how you’re feeling then change how you’re thinking.
If you don’t like what you’re seeing then change your perception.
If you don’t like someone then change how you treat them.
If you feel you deserve better, then strengthen your priorities.
If you want to improve yourself then raise your standards.
If you want to blame someone then go find a mirror.
You are your own worst enemy and your own best friend it is up to you to figure out how to iron out the wrinkles of inner conflicts and feel complete and beautiful in your own skin.
Repeat this until it sinks in.
First of all, how was I so smart in my early 20‘s?! Ha ha. And the moral of this blog is this: The beauty of life is that at any given moment you can recreate yourself and redirect your life if you just fix YOU. Oh and good advice never gets old as long as you remember to follow it :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)