The sky gets me. The sky is me.

 

 

“The sky is always there for me as my life has been going through many, many changes. When I look up at the sky, it gives me a nice feeling, like looking at an old friend.”   ~ Yoko Ono

 

Yoko gets it. This sky you speak of? It is mine too. It is yours too, whomever you are taking in the words of this blog. Some things in life we can rely on to remain. Sure as the sun rises each day the enormous presence of the sky will stay. 

When all else fails me, when I have no idea what to expect, when the things I expect fail to follow through I always look up. My eyes go up, my head falls back and my lungs expand. One two three, like a process that has become like second nature to me. This sky of mine, it is the one constant that I know gets me. It is my peace, my hope, my push and my cure. It is the guardian of my memories and the keeper of my secrets. The witness to my greatest joys and the silent companion during my deepest sorrows. The one I look up to to remind me that it will all be ok. Sometimes that “being ok” took far longer than expected, but the sky stayed with me every day of the journey. It remained. 

Every answer we need to know can be found within the clouds. If only for allowing our mind to settle, melt into the zone of a meditative state to open up our mind so that the answers can fall into place. The answers are always up there in that big expansive universe.

The sky casts no judgment upon me, even though I have looked up and cursed it as much as I have thanked it. It stays with me through it all. We are one of the same after all. Sometimes a roller coaster of emotions, sometimes a soft steady whisper. Hot and cold, calm and fierce, the sky gets me because it is me.

The sky is my friend just as Yoko says. The sky lets me know it’s ok to release emotion, blow up like a storm, roar like the thunder, be dark and stormy, brazen and careless, and still it remains. I remain. I stay steady. I return. I can be shiny and gloomy, calm or moody. I am an ever-changing wind and just like the weather, at times I am unpredictable. It’s ok though. The sky gets me, the sky is me.

Through the pitter patter of rain on my rooftop and the glare of sunshine through my sunroof, it follows me everywhere, by my side this sky of mine. It doesn’t give up, it keeps on keeping on because doing anything other than giving it all you got every day is not an option. I like that inspiration. That’s gumption, bravery, and stamina all in one. That’s me. Me, myself and the sky.

Just Be

As I look out the window and see the rain sliding down the window glass and the gray skies hang low over my rooftop I can’t help but think about the difference in time, in weather, in overall emotion that transcends from one state to another. The leaves on the trees are actually shivering by the way. Shaking. The wind is ripping through them with an abusive type of fury that gives me goose bumps just by watching them.

I have my sweat pants on, a hot coffee casting a sweet little steam over my computer screen, and if it weren’t for this epic sun burn splayed across my chest I’d be wrapped up in my heated blanket as I work away.

Arizona does something to me. It opens my soul and relaxes my mind. It makes me ponder everything. Maybe that’s why when I got back last year I decided I was going to quit my job. Sometimes you don’t know you’re stressed until you’re not and it was an eye opening realization that I was holding onto something heavy that once it lifted I couldn’t put that back on my shoulders. I have felt lighter ever since. But now I feel lighter still and I am thinking even more about what the future holds.

When you wake up to the sound of owls and birds and an open blue sky with a sunrise that seems to glow right through me, it affects you. Breathing in air that is warm right down to my belly and having birds walk right up to your hand connects you. I feel like the lines between humanity and nature combine and become one in Scottsdale Arizona. Relaxation comes when there is no fear, no worry, and no time to care. The bunnies aren’t even scared out there. They just hop along with their fuzzy tails as if to say “this sidewalk is as much mine as it is yours.” I found myself smiling without realizing that I was. Happiness is effortless. Zen is all around you.

And then there’s the spa. The Well & Being spa at the Scottsdale Princess embodies total and utter relaxation and spending the day there made me decompress even more. They don’t allow any cell phones or electronic devices. It was magical. I turned off the cell phone and slipped on the plush robe and just sat with my thoughts for hours. The rooftop pool had trickling waterfalls, tall palms,  and chirping birds. The sunshine on my body and the soothing sounds that enveloped me was all I needed for hours on end. I stared at the palm trees and sat in the exotic garden and just let my mind exist with its thoughts. That kind of mediation is golden.  I got massaged with a sugar scrub, sat in a eucalyptus inhalation room while sipping on prickly pear lemonade and let my thoughts melt. I’m a deep thinker and find that the best answers are brought to me in the moments when I don’t have to think.

There is something to be said about allowing yourself to “just be.” This is when the magic happens. Maybe the sun and the birds and the smells of my vacation aren’t that far away, and even though I’m looking out onto a cold day with muddy grass and the sounds of my keyboard tapping away again I still have that feeling inside of me and I can tap into it anytime I want. I need to unplug the technology and reconnect the ME. I need to rediscover who I am and what I want and when I close my eyes and feel the sunshine inside of me and take my heart back to where it felt most vibrant, the answers will keep coming.

A Resolution in Time

I love all the optimism that comes with the New Year don’t you? Everybody seems to be in this “out with the old, in with the new” hyped up eagerness with a “ta hell with 2016, 2017 is going to be sooooo much better” attitude. The treadmills are all taken at the gym, and everyone has a fierce determination to improve something one way or another. Let’s better ourselves! YaY!

 It’s the same thing, every year. But can one year ever truly top the next? It’s the same with age. Every year you think you’ve finally reached this pivotal point of, “Aha, now I get it. Now my life is in order!” and then 5 years later you think, “wow, I can’t believe I thought I knew it all back then. What the hell was I thinking?”

Time changes things. Time changes us. A change of a date is one micro millisecond in time. It doesn’t matter much, yet its impact is monumental in force once the last numbers change on that 365 day countdown. It is a page turned, a page burned. A start of a new calendar and a shredding of another. It is hope. It is relief. Sometimes it’s a raise of the middle finger to the past and a popping of a champagne bottle to the future. A hallelujah to a big ol’ “here we go again.”

It is a breath of fresh air. But only if you want it to be.  Akin to everything else in life it is what you, and only YOU make it out to be. Why can’t every day be a new start for us? If we want to make a change, then make it. I once thought resolutions were back-up plans for those people who couldn’t accomplish goals. The only obligation being to yourself and if you fail mid-way through, oh-well you gave it nice shot. You know how many times I tried to give up sugar? I’d announce it to all my co-workers and refuse their gifts of chocolate stating, “I don’t do that anymore.” Then a week or two later they’d be confused as to why I was digging my hand into the toffee popcorn as if it was totally normal.

Instead I take baby steps to improvement. I shop less and give more. I spend less time critiquing and more time complementing. I try to replace every bad thought with two good ones (try it!Ok I kind of suck at that one) When I do good I feel good and life is sporadic and curve-balls are unplanned so one cannot say what they will or won’t want to do at any given day in any given moment because time changes. We change with it.

I try to exist only in the present. I spend a ton of time just thinking because the most valuable thing in my life right now, the thing I appreciate the most and that I never knew could feel so enjoyable is “time.” I embrace it more than I knew was possible.

I went through an actual phase of guilt for being able to enjoy the time that has now been available to me since I quit my full time position 8 months ago. I felt guilty for being able to not set an alarm clock. Guilty for not having to give 110% of myself in exchange for a paycheck. Guilty for being able to do what I want when I want. You know when they say “time is money.” It is. You can look at it in so many ways but the way I see it being able to have time in exchange for a paycheck makes me wealthy in spirit instead of dollar bills and to me that’s what matters more. I am rich in spirit. Money is nice, but it’s a good lesson for the soul to learn how easily you can adapt to having less of it. You feel more connected to who you are and what you want. You are your true self because you don’t have to be anybody else to appease the expectations of others. Time has taught me this.

So forget the resolutions. Make a constant vow, a forever affirmation that you will become one with time. It is always on your side so embrace it. Roll with it. Change with it. And always, no matter good day or bad toast to it. Cheers to time.