It's time to break up. Winter, I am so over you!

Dear Winter,

Although the beginning of our relationship seemed to start off fresh and magical, I’m sad to say my feelings have changed. I remember the way your snow twinkled in the air and swept me off my feet, and how your soft flakes gently caressed my face, but I am now realizing that I was completely delusional during that period of time. Like the snow blowing through the air, love floats; and this love my dear Winter, has taken a high speed tornado track to disappointment and grief.

I know it’s not your fault, you’re just being yourself by dropping ice and sleet in an effort to freeze the land, but I’m afraid my heart has frozen along with it and I just cannot go on. You have turned me into a cold hearted woman these past few days and I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel (although if I did, I’d run to that beam of sunshine and let it ravage my body with it’s heat and start a hot and sultry affair right then and there....)

You see my dear Winter, once again you have turned out to be a disguise, a mirage. You paint a pretty picture of frosty innocent snow and glowing fires, but then you piss all over it with your muddy tire flaps and dead end roads. We have a total lack of communication and I’m tired of trying to pound my point into your thick frozen skull. You exhaust my soul. My windshield wipers are mere icicles flapping back and forth, and like the slow tick tock of my heart, I just can’t move past the blurry mess of what we have become...

You and I? We’re so not meant to be. You’re just not hot enough for me. You have turned vicious and cold and you’re taking me down with you. I am my own person damn it and you cannot, and will not change me.. I’m a beach bunny, not an ice princess and you’ll never change that. It’s like we live in two different worlds and neither one of us can compromise. So take you’re cute little snowmen and you’re mountains of slush and snow and get the hell out of my life. I don’t want to see you attempt to fix this with your damn snow plows or fancy little colored lights strung all over the land. Because in the end? I’m just not putting up with your drama anymore. What started off soft and sweet always turns rough and sour at the end with you and so I’m not falling for you ever again. This is it. This is me kissing your frozen ass good-bye.

Fa-la-la-la-la-la
Ta-ta Ta-ta :-)

Me

Pajama Jeans: The new craze or totally crazy?

I cannot even believe I just watched a commercial advertising this so called “pajama jean” that’s supposed to be stylish and sexy yet feel like you’re wearing pajamas.

Sexy and stylish? I’m so confused here! These things look like leggings with pockets sewn on the the back. It has a baby blanket soft lining, no buttons or zippers, and a cute boot cut flare. Only thing is, they’re not cute. I didn’t see one flattering rear end in that commercial. It claims to flatter every figure but yet it comes in a 3XL. Hmmm.... Oh! And if you order now you get a free grey crew neck (looks like a hanes undershirt) to complete your new look! Better hurry up and order!!

The commercial says you can go to the store in them, pick up your kids from school in them, and travel with them! Can’t you do that with regular jeans? I mean, all my jeans are comfy or I wouldn’t wear them! The commercial shows a woman with an arched back laying on her bed trying to zip up her regular pair of jeans, grunting and moaning with a big huge button indentation on her belly. That’s a size problem, not a jean problem! I laughed out loud.

Question: Do people really buy these pajama jeans? If so, where in the hell have I been? Oh, and WHY? These are like Mom jean/ sweat pants with a denim fabric- elastic waistband- wha-huh? I just do not get this! OK, so am I missing something here? Is this the hot new twist in fashion? (The commercial said it is, so I’m curious).

However, if someone has ordered this and loves the product than I’m happy for you and I want you to come over to my house wearing them so I can see this amazing product for myself!

No really, if this is a product that is seriously taking off than I really need to watch more commercials so I can be more fashion forward!! Or perhaps I could design a slipper stiletto and make my millions...

www.pajamajeans.com Enjoy.

The Minnesota Meltdown

Just a little "vent" I wrote about Winter, particularly that of a Minnesota one. The never-ending, I'm freezing my ass off, please light a fire and sit me on top of it type of coldness that chills my bones when the winter air lays itself on my world gets me a little bit itching for Summer, right about NOW. Happens every December....I'm already OVER IT :)

Minnesota Meltdown

Oh how graceful the snow does fall
Ice melts on my tongue as I catch them all,
I breathe in the wild Winter’s air
as crystal white stars drop onto my hair.

Blankets of white silk drape across the land
renewing the earth and freezing the sand
Cold white frosting drips from the trees,
Snow angels slide from hands to knees.

The dark sky twinkles with shivering light
A moon hangs low in a star lit night
It’s peaceful and sweet without demand,
Oh how I love this Winter Wonderland....



I’m freezing now and my toes are numb,
I live in Minnesota, man am I dumb!
I don’t have money for damn snow boots,
and I can’t walk in no damn snow suit!

I want my sunshine! Come back to me!
This snow white skin is not hap-py
My car seats are cold and my face is dry,
Where the hell is that damn snow plow guy?!

You drivers suck, get out of my lane,
It’s snow, not bullets, that are falling like rain.
Get a sled or get off the highway,
And why the f#*k am I stuck in my driveway?!

I don’t like wool and these mittens are shit,
My toes are ice and their polish is chipped
My neck is cold and the veins are blue,
Wear a turtle neck? No thank you!

My ears are numb, but the muffs look ridick
Where the hell is my de-icer shit?
My hair is big ball of static, don’t touch it!
Take that stocking cap and shove it!

Kidnap me please and take me to Cali,
I want to bask in the sun and smoke in the valley.
I dislike snow skis and ice skates too,
I just want to swim in a pool of bright blue.

Take me away, far far from here,
Let the sun toast my ass and bring me good cheer.
I want to bask in some rays and lay in the sand
F*#k this cold Winter Wonderland!

It’s up and down the mood swing ride
Like a one horse sleigh with a psychotic glide,
I’m laughing, I’m whining, spinning round and round,
A classic victim of the Minnesota Meltdown....