Run Run Away

Back when I was rebellious and felt a need to express my rebellion (I kindly tuck it inside now where it’s safe), I used to crank music just to let everyone know I was in that “I don’t give a shit” mood. I’d usually put in a Heavy-Metal cassette tape (remember those?) it was a “mixed tape” actually (the special ones) and crank the volume on my stereo as loud as I could before the speakers cracked just to be sure my parents reached the max level of irritation. I was a fun one.

Anyhow, back to this mixed tape. It was one a past boyfriend made for me which included various rock songs that we listened to together. I’d always forward the tape (remember when we had to do that?!) until I got to this specific song that I loved. It hit the “rebellious” part of my heart that freed my soul and loosened my bones a bit. It brought back memories of my skipping school to hang at his house (he was a bit older) and we’d lay on the couch eating potato chips for breakfast and smiling at each other for hours. It was a time when I didn’t give a shit what people thought (ok I still have a little bit of that in me) and I had no respect for authoritative figures and an impulse to break rules that didn’t cater to what I wanted to do at the moment. (I know. Can you believe I used to be that way?!) The song was called Run Run Away by the group Slade. You’ve probably never heard of them but I’m telling you, it revved me up like no other. It was like a gust of wind would sweep up my insides and give a therapeutic shout at the world, a bigger than life but giddy F-YOU. Bright eyed. Alive. Careless. FREE.

Some things you never let go of, music is one of them for me. So when I’ve had a grueling day and I want to revert back to the carefree attitude of that teenage girl who would skip school when her heart desired and  sneak out at midnight with the current boy toy to drink beers at the cemetery, I throw on a little Run Run Away by Slade. For a moment I smile and feel alive. I laugh how much I’ve changed and yet remain the same. The school uniform has turned to work attire and the boom box is now itunes on blue tooth, but the spark of that heavy metal I-don’t-give-a-shit feeling in my heart stays the same.

And I still belt it out at the top of my lungs.

And I still don’t care who sees me.

And I STILL think there’s a 16 year old trapped somewhere inside. Thankfully :)