Books. I love them so much that the very word makes my insides flutter. I was going through some old books today as I do on occasion and found a tiny triangle of yellow paper jetting out from the top of a book by Maya Angelou, marking the page of one of my most beloved poems “Phenomenal Woman.” Right away I knew what it said and was flooded with memories of the day I found those words written on a post it that someone had left on their table at Barnes&Noble.
It was a chilly December day in 2002 and I found myself in a bookstore of course. I remember I was wearing a new pair of black boots and feeling uncomfortable about how they clicked on the floor so I tried to stay on carpeted areas except for when I went and bought a latte at the Starbucks in the center. I sat down on a table and there on this yellow post it, written in black marker bold and loud as if it was directed right to me were the words:
“If you want different you have to do different”
That was all it said. No one was around to claim the post-it and that whimsical imagination I have thought “Huh. What if this is a sign and I was meant to be brought to this table to read this?” I decided to read them again. And again. Those words changed the very direction of my life that day and I never knew who to thank for it. Nine words. That’s all it took. I remember deciding to end yet another relationship that I knew was headed nowhere. I deleted phone numbers of people that I knew didn’t benefit my life. It was like this light bulb turned on and followed me everywhere. Every time I didn’t like something about my life I remembered those words “If you want different you have to do different.”
I skipped to my car when I left just to feel my heart race. I was a new ME. I was in control of my destiny.
I took that post-it home with me that day and used it as a book marker so I’d never forget it’s impact. Finding it today gave me goose bumps and I realized that over the years I haven’t always lived by those words.
I stapled that post-it to a piece of my journal paper the following summer as it was getting a little worn. I was sitting by my pool at my apartment complex sometime in July of 2002 and I wrote these words underneath it:
You.
Yes you. Only YOU have the power to change the things in your life.
If you don’t like what you’re getting then change what you’re doing.
If you don’t like how you’re feeling then change how you’re thinking.
If you don’t like what you’re seeing then change your perception.
If you don’t like someone then change how you treat them.
If you feel you deserve better, then strengthen your priorities.
If you want to improve yourself then raise your standards.
If you want to blame someone then go find a mirror.
You are your own worst enemy and your own best friend it is up to you to figure out how to iron out the wrinkles of inner conflicts and feel complete and beautiful in your own skin.
Repeat this until it sinks in.
First of all, how was I so smart in my early 20‘s?! Ha ha. And the moral of this blog is this: The beauty of life is that at any given moment you can recreate yourself and redirect your life if you just fix YOU. Oh and good advice never gets old as long as you remember to follow it :)
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