On LIFE after DEATH

On LIFE after DEATH: A book review

Well it has been 7 months since my Mom crossed over from the physical world (or as some people would say “since my Mom died”) and it seems lately that I miss her more than ever. It never ends. This feeling of loss is inescapable. It sits on my shoulder and crawls up my throat. I choke on it. I let it out then push it down. Sometimes I just sit with it and wonder if this hollowed part of me will ever become whole again.

Time. It’s supposed to heal everything right? I believe this to be true, however I didn’t realize this whole healing thing would come in waves where you make some progress and then regress, feel at ease some days and then get attacked with emotion when you’re not looking. It’s all part of TIME. Good days, bad days, blah blah blah. The hole is still there. Some days it feels like it starts to gape open like a raw wound and even gets sprinkled with salt on occasion. So I read some good books, meditate, feel grateful for my life, cherish the memories and ever so slowly the hole starts to stitch itself back up. Then I realize that I am NEVER going to hear my Mom’s voice again and poof, the hole opens again and the process continues....

I’m doing quite well considering the fact that I’m walking around with this hole in my heart and I still manage to function in a positive and enjoyable fashion. Walking, talking, giggling, jumping about as if it’s not really there. I’m still me and appear completely whole on the outside. The insides can feel as fragile as a butterflies wing but you’d never know it by the way it’s covered up with my sturdy skeletal structure and sheet of skin to shield the heart that is ticking away with a big ol’ hole in it. That is a miracle in itself my friends!

It gets easier to walk into my parents house as time goes on. I feel my Mom’s presence so deeply when I’m there that I swear there is an energy that is trailing 2 steps behind me when I walk down the hallway. It feels GOOD. The house is exactly as it was when my Mom was still with us. Her purse still sits on the floor in the dining room where she left it. I think it will probably stay there forever getting walked over and vacuumed around for as long as the house is standing. I wonder if the 1/2 eaten cookie is still inside the pocket. I have grown to like seeing her purse sitting there. It’s comforting...like she’s still around.

The last time I went home my Dad gave me this book he read called “on LIFE after DEATH” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. I read it in one sitting. It is a phenomenal book and I would suggest it to anyone who has lost a loved one or is simply curious about death. The author has witnessed many deaths as well as interviewed hundreds of people who have died and come back to life...Yes that happens. Death is not an ending. It is merely us coming out of our cocoon into the next beautiful place.

There are so many important and healing words written within the pages of this book and the ones that stuck out the most were the ones that were highlighted (I’m assuming by my Dad) I will share them with you in hopes that you will feel compelled to read the whole book--it’s only 85 pages!

Here they are:

~The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours. This is very important to know. If you have a clear conscience and are doing your work with love, others will spit on you and try to make your life miserable.

~The greatest gift God granted man is free will. Among living beings, free will is given only to man. As such, man has the choice to use this energy in a positive or negative way.

~ If someone doesn’t like a certain truth, he will come up with a thousand arguments against it. However, again, this is his problem. One shouldn’t try to convince other people. When they die, they will know it anyway.

~What church tells little children about guardian angels is based on fact. There is proof that every human being, from his birth until his death, is guided by a spirit entity. Everyone has such a spirit guide, whether you believe it or not. Whether you are Jewish, catholic, or a member of any other religion doesn’t matter, for such love is unconditional. This is why everyone receives this gift as a spirit guide.

~In general the people that are waiting for you on the other side are the ones who loved us the most. You always meet those people first.

~After seeing the light nobody wants to come back. Here, there is understanding without judging and here you experience unconditional love. You will come to know that all your life on earth was nothing but a school that you had to go through in order to pass certain tests and learn special lessons. As soon as you have finished this school and mastered your lessons, you are allowed to go home to graduate! There is one thing everybody has to learn before he can return from where he came, and that is unconditional love. If you have learned and practiced this, you have mastered the greatest lesson of all.

~We are created for a very simple, beautiful, and wonderful life. My greatest wish is that you will start looking at life differently. If you accept life as something you were created for, then you will no longer question whose lives should be extended and whose should not.

~To live well means basically to learn to love.

~Knowledge helps, but knowledge alone is not going to help anybody. If you do not use your head and your heart and your soul, you are not going to help a single human being.

~Nothing comes to you as a negative. I mean nothing. All the trials and tribulations, the greatest losses, things that make you say “If I had know about this I would never have been able to make it through,” are gifts to you.

~Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow. The only thing you lose is something that you don’t need anymore:your physical body.

~Not one of my patients who has had an out-of-body experience was ever again afraid to die. Not one of them in all of our cases.

~You don’t have to do anything except learn to get in touch, in silence, within yourself. Get in touch with your own inner self and learn not to be afraid. One way to not be afraid is to know that death does not exist, that everything in this life has a positive purpose. Get rid of all your negativity and begin to view life as a challenge, a testing ground of your own inner resources and strength.

~I truly believe that every human being consists of a physical, an emotional, an intellectual, and a spiritual quadrant. If we can learn to externalize our unnatural emotions, our hate, our anguish, our unresolved grief, our oceans of unshed tears, then we can get back, get tuned in to what we were meant to be: a human being consisting of four quadrants, all of which work together in total harmony and wholeness.

~Death is but a transition from this life to another existence where there is no more pain and anguish. All the bitterness and disagreements will vanish and the only thing that lives forever is LOVE. So love each other NOW, for we never know how long we will be blessed with the presence of those who gave us LIFE- no matter how imperfect many a parent has been.


*The hole in my heart contracted a little by the time I finished typing this blog.  We will see what tomorrow brings... :)