Why I HATE Walmart

Reasons why I HATE Walmart

*Warning: This is a quick-type rant blog. The F word is used so many times that I’ll just say F=Fuck and FN=Fucking and FD=Fucked. I will probably bang this out in 3 minutes flat because I’m lightning speed irritated with this ghetto magnet today.

First of all I NEVER shop here and only entered the store because my kid wanted a specific Batman cake for his b-day and this is the only bakery that made it. I had to walk through Walmart’s doors TWICE today because they FD up the order....Lord have mercy on me. They literally forgot to make it as a Batman cake as it was solid white frosting with no design and they also forgot to write his name on it. I’m FN serious.

Here’s my list of reason’s why I HATE(<-----yes I recognize that this is a strong word, which is why I’m choosing to use it in this instance) Walmart.

1.) It’s like a big dirty smelly cement box that collects all the big dirty smelly people in a 50 mile radius.

2.) You can never find anything because it’s too FN big.

3.) It STINKS. This is worth repeating: IT FN STINKS. Like a big old fart. And by the way, on trip #2 today the guy in line ahead of me did actually fart and I gagged. UGH. I can’t believe it....I almost cried.

4.) All the shit looks old and garage-sale-ish. The clothes are wrinkled, the clearance aisles are a wreck, and don’t even get me started on the meat case at the deli. Gross!

5.) The place makes Good Will look like a palace.

6.) All the processed foods, pink jello molds, blue cookies and other shit full of crappy ingredients is contributing to the obesity in America. Look around Walmart and it’s all beer guts and flabby tits down to the knees wheeling around carts full of coke and twinkies. Sad but true.

7.) I feel like I’m at an old folks home when I go there. Random people bellied up against the end of aisles and lingering around with confused looks on their faces. I feel like there should be a “call nurse” button on the end of the aisles instead of a “price check.”

8.) Is There EVER a check out lane that isn’t a mile long?!? NO. Even when you think you picked the shortest line, you didn’t. Between the illiterate cashiers and the women toting 50+ coupons (1/2 of which are not valid, and then you get to drop your jaw over the endless arguing “but it said 50 cents off, what do you mean it was only the crescent roll variety? Can you override it?”)Gah! I never reach the cashier without an angry sweat building upon my brow, that is if I don’t drop my shit, leave the store and curse myself for ever walking through the doors.....

9.) Can I get some help? With anything? You see the employees in blue shirts, they’re FN everywhere, but do you think one of them ever asks if they can help you find something? NO. Why? Because they don’t even know where the F they are or why the F they’re still employed. And who the F cares? I get my pay check anyways.

10.) Walmart epitomizes the definition of corporate greed. Nstarzone.com states: How high of a price are we willing to pay for Wal-Mart's "low-price" model? This outfit operates with an avarice, arrogance, and ambition that would make Enron blush. It hits a town or city neighborhood like a retailing neutron bomb, sucking out the economic vitality and all of the local character. And Wal-Mart's stores now have more kill- power than ever, with its SuperCenters averaging 200,000 square feet - - the size of more than four football fields under one roof! These things land splat on top of any community's sense of itself and devour local business. By slashing its retail prices way below cost when it enters a community, Wal-Mart can crush our groceries, pharmacies, hardware stores, and other retailers, then raise its prices once it has mono- poly control over the market. But, say apologists for these Big-Box megastores, at least they're creating jobs. Wrong. By crushing local businesses, this giant eliminates three decent jobs for every two Wal-Mart jobs that it "creates" and a store full of part-time, poorly paid employees hardly builds the family wealth necessary to sustain a community's middle-class living standard.

Shitty corporations like this I cannot and will not support and the next time my kid wants a b-day cake I will bake it myself or travel 50,000 miles to find the one he wants rather than walk through the stinky polluted greedy airwaves of Walmart. I hate that FN place.

Aaaaaand breeeeaaaathe. F that felt good.