Saturday, June 11, 2016

Junk Drawers and other Mysteries


I decided to walk into the lion’s den today and tackle our “junk drawer.” Everyone has one. It’s the catchall for loose change, packs up gum, legos, objects that fall into “what the hell is this? It might go to something, better keep it” category. Old keys. Receipts. Buttons. Paper clips. You name it.

So I did it. I emptied it and cleaned it and put all the shit back in it although now it is in organized “sections” of which I give less than a month to be ripped into one big hurricane of junk again. Some things I tossed. Some things made me cry. Some things I swear are not ours but yet made their way into the Schmidt junk drawer. Anyone missing a pair of Oakley aviators by the way?

So how do drawers end up like this? Who takes a piece of gum and throws the wrapper back in the drawer? Why keep buttons when the world knows I can’t sew to save my life. If the button needs replacing, consider yourself the owner of a new shirt.

Anyhow. I thought it remarkable that I found over TEN pairs of sunglasses in this drawer. Ridiculous. I have a pair in the glove box, a pair in my purse, and 3 pairs in my closet. I’m sure there are beach bags with shades in them from last summer and my kid has at least 8 pairs floating around from school functions or b-day party gifts. It’s like a sunglass hut up in here.

And keys. My god the keys! Spare keys to my Mazda I sold 2 years ago. Random keys to everything under the sun and none of which I know go to what. Keys that look like diary keys, jewelry box keys, and lock box keys…none of which I own. Where does this shit come from?!

Amongst all the loose change (of which I’m hoping can cash out to be enough to buy me a few drinks at the bar), breath mints, gadgets, lint rollers, playing cards (the rest of deck is where?!), marbles, whistles, flash-lights, nail polish, chap-stick, and old receipts… I found no less than 20 bic lighters. No shit. Who needs all these?! Who bought them? How did they end up in this drawer? Better yet, why did I put them back in the drawer?! It was towards the end and what else does one do with them?

My apologies for finding wedding invites that never had the RSVP returned (so cringe worthy!!) I never do that and all I can say is “IT WASN’T ME.”

Rummaging through my drawer of junk made me realize how quickly our lives fly by. How this drawer is the collecting hub of all the makings of our days. The sunblock from last Summer that I tossed in the drawer after coming back from the water park parched and fried. The old Crayola sunglasses that Landon wore when he was 4. I can still see him smiling in his car seat, thinking he was Mr. Cool. The mocha lip balm I had to buy because it tasted like hot chocolate and coconuts and I wore every day in Orlando…and then forgot about. The key chain from Landon’s fun run that he thought was cool for a day and then not so much. Old pink erasers purchased for school but never made it into the backpack, one day he’ll be too big for those big pink erasers. The old photos of everything that makes you melt…baby announcements of kids that are now eight and pictures of Landon as a toddler wearing clothes that has been sold and playing with toys that have been lost along the years. You see how quickly life slips by. What you remember. What you forgot. What you can’t bring yourself to throw away for fear of losing a memory that could be tied to it.

So maybe it’s good to let the shit build up for a few years again. Maybe it’s good to look back and go through some memories while organizing.  Maybe we need that? A junk drawer.

We probably don’t need 3 though and that was just drawer #1. Lord help me. I don’t know if I should move on to drawer #2, start a bic-lighter stand out front (screw lemonade) or cash in my change and hit the pub.

Decisions decisions.

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