One two three and the BALANCE of me.

“You need 3 things in life: Something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. If you aren’t happy, one of those things is off balance” I heard a psychologist say this a couple years ago. I can respect that. I get it. She didn’t explain in detail any of the things or why her father told her this from a very young age, but those 3 things stuck with me. I’ve pondered them and concluded that I have a tiny adjustment and added elaboration to go with the 3 things I believe equate balance in my life.

It’s Saturday morning, I should be sleeping in! I’m unusual and sporadic in my resting patterns so I’m choosing to blog out a little early morning wisdom on the computer instead.


Here they are:

Someone to love. I know it’s cliche! It’s a strong one though. Know this: When you have someone to love, all the best parts of your mind and soul are enhanced. It’s like the glossy top coat on a manicure that seals it all. Love makes everything underneath feel better and everything on the exterior is intensified and more attractive. People who are deep in the throes of new love actually GLOW. Those who have settled into a deep substantial relationship of love have a strong construction both inside and out. But that’s just the more intimate kind.
There is so much more to this whole love thing than a partner type/marriage/ sexual 
relationship.
    People don’t actually “need” that type of love, it’s nice but not necessary to experience love. Love can come in the form of ANYONE. A best friend, a mentor, a coach, a parent, a sibling, a dog. As long as you have someone that you can feel love towards, someone that keeps you going, has the ability to bring out the best in you and will be there for you through the rocky roller coasters of life, hold your hand and support you during your greatest aspirations as well as your failures than you know what it is to love. Yes, Self-love trumps all but in the grand scheme of things it isn’t enough to sustain you through the journey of your life. You need SOMEONE to love. It really does make the world go ‘round.

2.) Something to look forward to. There must always be something in your life to look forward to. This keeps the heart ticking and the mind awake. Having something to look forward to can instantly make you feel a push inside. It’s like a little ball of happiness that raises up inside your chest when you think of all the things you have to look forward to. I believe that when a person runs out of things to look forward to, their life in general starts to lose it’s purpose. It has been written in suicide notes that people felt they had no longer had anything to live for hence nothing to look forward to. Losing things to look forward to can begin to derail your insides this is why it is SO important!
I always try to focus on the upcoming goodness of life. Some examples (don’t laugh they’re true!): When I was four years old I used to go to bed with excitement because I knew I got to play with my paper dolls in the morning. I would lie there and contemplate which outfits I would dress them in the next day (ok you can laugh). I know this sounds ridiculous but at 4 years old I sincerely looked forward to that and it made me fall asleep with a happy heart! Haha. The point is, when you have something to look forward to it’s like pushing down the gas pedal inside of you. Sometimes it’s a long acceleration and sometimes it comes in quick pumps. It keeps you going though. Remember the excitement of a particular sports game? Going to prom? An upcoming vacation? A date? A pay check?
Having something to look forward to is imperative to the happiness of life. I think the sole desire of seeing whether or not a love letter would be waiting in my desk when I got to school in the morning was the driving force to get me out of bed my enter year of 6th grade. And when I was obsessed with iced mocha frappacinos I would literally look forward to that cup of sweet iced chocolate yumminess every single day of my life and feel a giddy heartbeat every time I sipped it (Yes, it was a sugar addiction tsk-tsk. I now feel that way about fresh juice haha). In all seriousness though, if you feel off or down you may not have enough things sitting on the ledge in your mind entitled “Things to look forward to.” It should always be overflowing, even little things count. Current things on my shelf: Summer (it will eventually come and I plan on drinking up every second of it), watching the movie 12 years a slave this weekend, going on a couple trips within the next 2 months, my husband’s and son’s presence, going to yoga and Bodies by Burgoon, reading some new books, getting my nails done......These things are simple and yet they are things I am looking forward to. Some more than others!

3.) Someplace to enhance yourself. This one can be elaborated in a few ways. The gist of it is this: I believe there has to be a place (mentally or physically) that you can take yourself to get that time for just you. A place that expands your mind and feeds your soul. Maybe it’s a corner in your home where you can read a book or meditate. Perhaps it’s a 1,0000 piece puzzle on your dining room table. Maybe it’s a church or temple. Maybe it’s an art studio. Maybe you keep a journal or blog or take swimming lessons. The point is that it’s YOUR THING and you feel focused and “In the zone” when you’re doing it. For me those things come in many forms: I love to write, many things in many ways. I go to yoga and feel totally centered from all angles while I’m there. I like to spend a lot of time creating new healthy recipes and cooking helps my creative side shine. My gym (that’s nothing like a gym) Bodies by Burgoon hits my enhancement on a multitude of sections by pushing me to new levels physically and mentally and changing the things my body is capable of by putting the power back in my mind.
When you constantly strive to improve yourself and entertain different goals through life it will keep you engaged in your well-being as a whole. There is no finish line to understanding who you are and nurturing the parts that make you feel good inside. Enhance yourself!

Well there’s the 3 things that I believe keep me balanced. I will sum it up in one final statement: "There is no end to the definition of who you are. If you have SOMEONE to love, SOMETHING to look forward to and SOMEPLACE to enhance yourself you will have a happy heart and a balanced life."

Hmmm...I should have been a psychologist instead. Dr. Melanie Schmidt. Has a nice ring to it, no?