Obviously it’s no secret that I love to shop. Most stores feel like second homes to me and I could seriously browse all day oohing and aahing over the latest handbags, necklaces, and jeans. But today? Well today just pissed me off.
FIRST of all (and this is my main pet peeve of the day) ladies: You need to STOP dragging your men to shop with you! I’ve said it before but SERIOUSLY, having some dude hang on to the end of the clothing rack that I’m trying to rifle through while looking like a half open eyed luring weird-o is uncomfortable for everyone. Stop it.
So all I wanted to do was find a few cute outfits for Vegas. Party tops. Skinny jeans. New earrings. Something bright and fun. Club stuff. This would normally be an easy task but literally nothing worked today. Nothing. All of the tops I tried on were either too baggy at the hips, too low in the neck (on a positive note I did realize that the only tops that look decent on me are “V” necks) or too expensive. Hello? I’m not going to pay $100 for a piece of cloth, especially if it’s mostly cotton. That’s BS. Also, my main reason why none of the shirts were a hit for me can be summed up in 2 words: NO BOOBS.
*ugh it just pisses me off that I’m a member of the itty bitty titty committee. I’m over it!
Ok so then I was in this dressing room trying on jeans. I was even trying on jeans that cost entirely too much money but after 2 hours I was getting aggravated so I was willing to splurge for something hot enough. First off, the lighting accentuated every f’ing pore on my face and I realized that I now have eyebrow wrinkles (I actually thought it was a piece of hair in my face and kept trying to wipe it off until I realized this was actually a permanent line on my face) I couldn’t get passed the fact that I am aging. My mood went sour.
Even worse was the fact that my stretch marks are no longer just marks, they are like a never ending maze, a map to never never land leading around in every direction to where I had to use the 3-way mirror just to inspect what in the hell has happened here. I no longer cared about not finding the perfect bikini for Vegas for there will be no bikini wearing. Oh no. All my time will be spent at the bar drinking away my “stress marks.” That’s exactly what they are doing to me.
Oh and the jeans didn’t fit either because all of the jeans today were either too tall in the waist or the butt didn’t look right or the length was off. I blame the mirror for turning my mood to shit so this may have effected my overall opinion of every item of clothes that I tried on after that...
So. Eight different stores, 15 pairs of jeans, 12 tops, and I found nothing. Without finding any clothes I couldn’t move on to accessories. The only thing I came home with was underwear for my husband. Men’s underwear is expensive by the way!
I have less than 10 days to figure out this clothing dilemma. I probably shouldn’t be inhaling jelly beans like they’re popcorn right now or bitching via blog.
I should be shopping online...
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