Chocolate Looooove

Chocolate Loooove

Obviously my love for chocolate goes without saying, but since it is “National Chocolate Day” I decided to do a little research on the benefits of consuming this fabulous piece of melted heaven. By the way I did acknowledge this holiday by indulging on: Reese Peanut butter cups, M&Ms (plain and peanut), Twix bar, whoppers, a Hershey’s bar, and a good old cup of hot chocolate. Ok, so I eat that much chocolate every day…but whatever, as I was saying, the benefits are:

1.) It tastes good, so it makes people happy.
2.) It lowers blood pressure (probably because it tastes good, therefore relaxing the mind)
3.) It lowers cholesterol (by 10%)
4.) It stimulates endorphin production, which gives a feeling of pleasure. Chocolate body paints anyone?
5.) It contains serotonin, which can be an anti-depressant (probably because it tastes good, so it makes you happy)
6.) It contains caffeine for that extra “lift” during the day.
7.) Chocolate could melt a girls heart and say “I love you” without speaking a word (well, for me anyway)
8.) It tastes really good when you’re pissed off because eating it makes you feel better.
9.) It tastes really good if you’re happy, it can at times be euphoric.
10.) It makes life worth living on the days when you just want to say f*#k it.

Ok, so never mind the fact that they say to only have dark chocolate and to skip the nougat and avoid the milk, because, well, that’s just taking the fun out of it. I would live in a candy house with chocolate walls and a whipped cream roof if I could. I am whole heartedly, without a doubt, a chocolate lover. Oop- my fudge is ready for my ice cream now, gotta run…

For the love of pumpkins....

Every time the colors begin to change on the trees I start to crave pumpkin! Since I love to bake, I thought I’d share a few of my favorite recipes for you fellow pumpkin lovers. Every year, certain things MUST be made and here are a few:

Chocolate Lover’s Pumpkin Bread

½ c. butter ½ tsp. salt
1 c. sugar ½ tsp. nutmeg
2 eggs ½ tsp. ginger
¾ c. canned pumpkin ½ tsp. cloves
1 ¾ c. flour ¾ c. chocolate chips
1 tsp. soda ¾ c. walnuts, chopped (if you feel like a nut, cuz sometimes I don’t)
1 tsp. cinnamon
Set oven to 350.

Cream the butter, sugar, and eggs. Add the pumpkin. Add the dry ingredients, chocolate chips, and nuts (if you desire). Put it into a greased loaf pan and bake for 45 minutes to an hour.
** Put some butter on it while it’s warm and your mouth will have an orgasmic explosion of chocolicous pumpkin that is fan-frickin-tastic.

Gingered Pumpkin Soup
(Yes, pumpkin soup is delicious….and so easy to make)

1 tbsp. butter
2 15- ounce cans pumpkin
2 14- ounce cans chicken broth
1 cup half and half
¼ cup maple syrup
2 tsp. grated fresh ginger (or ¼ tsp. ground ginger if you’re lazy)
Salt
Ground black pepper
Brown sugar (optional, but I love)

In a large Saucepan melt the butter over medium heat. Stir in pumpkin, broth, half-and-half, syrup, and ginger. Bring to a boil for a second or two. Season and garnish as you wish. This tastes really good if you’re under a furry blanket and watching Sex and the City re-runs FYI.

Pumpkin Cheesecake to-die-for

2 pkg. PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
½ cup canned pumpkin
½ cup sugar
½ tsp. vanilla
½ tsp. ground cinnamon
Dash of cloves
Dash of nutmeg
2 eggs
1 HONEY MAID Pie Crust (6 oz)
Real whipped cream (or use cool whip if you’re lazy)

Preheat oven to 350.

Beat cream cheese, pumpkin, sugar, vanilla, and spices in lrg. bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until blended. Add eggs and beat until blended.
POUR into crust.

Bake 40 min. or until the center is almost set. Cool. Refrigerate 3 hrs. or so. Top with whipped cream—lots of it of course. I like to whip my cream and add a 1/3 or more cup of confectioners’ sugar, or sprinkle in some brown sugar and a dab of vanilla. OMG it’s so good I must make this soon!

I can't believe summer's over!!

“I can’t believe summer’s already over!” It’s the same thing I say every year and every year I vow to do all the things next summer that I didn’t get a chance to do this summer. It’s like the second it gets to 60 degrees, high hopes arise of all desires I crave to satisfy in the summer heat. Then, like the blink of an eye, the cold air hits again and I feel like my dreams of sunshine have somehow slipped through my fingers like a fist full of sand. What in the hell did I do all summer anyway? I can’t never even remember! I sure as hell can make a fine list of all things I swore I was “going” to do, but never seemed to find the time to.

Here they are:

1.) Eat corn on the cob. This summer, I NEVER rubbed hot corn in butter and dug my teeth in to it. This makes me want to cry like a little baby.
2.) Go to the pool. I’m talking about the one a few blocks from our house at the park. It’s a simple little kiddy pool that I pictured taking Landon to every weekend. NEVER HAPPENED. The last time I saw the pool it was warm outside and I was waiting for it to open. Now it’s closed already.
3.) Go to The Water Park. Again, this is a block from our house. It has big water slides, huge fake trees that shoot out water, and nice cozy lounge chairs. It’s closed and I’m kicking myself.
4.) Go on a boat. I NEVER got on a boat this SUMMER! I know. Can you believe it?! Well, I did take a pontoon ride to a luau, but that was a couple weekends ago and I was wearing mittens and a blanket, so that doesn’t count if there is not a bikini top and sunglasses involved.
5.) Go to The Zoo. ARGHHH!! How could I have not made it to the frickin’ zoo?! Boo hoo hoo is all I can say. Until next year monkeys….
6.) Go to ValleyFair. I really wanted to take Landon here for the kiddy rides. He would have loved it! Hey…it’s not still open is it? Wait, I refuse to wear boots to Valleyfair anyways…
7.) Go to Champs Alleyway. I just thought I’d for sure make it to the alley way bar downtown. Sipping on a cold one with my girlfriends while the sunset kissed our spaghetti strapped shoulders…Nope. Didn’t happen (tear slides down cheek)
8.) Swim. I never swam this summer and I never even put on a bikini unless I was in my backyard with a book. Shit, I never even got in the damn kiddy pool. I suck.
9.) Go to Stillwater. I planned on taking Landon over to Teddy Bear Park and maybe taking a trolley ride. I figured I had all summer to do that one. But-oopsy! Summer’s Ohhh-Verrrr now…
10.) The biggest regret I have is NOT MAKING IT TO THE FARMER’S MARKET. So mad about this I want to literally kick my own ass. I love the fruit, the veggies; the flowers…Oh Summer...please come back to meeeee!

Ok, so I’m done whining until next year, BUT I still had an awesome June-August spent with some of the finest people on the planet. We did use the grill a couple times, travel a tad, and of course I did manage to get a teeny tiny sun-kissed glow for like a millisecond and eat entirely too much ice cream- oh wait, I still indulge in that year round. But, now it’s a new season and a new leaf shall turn (a crimson red perhaps, or succulent peach). My house smells like pumpkins and my trees look beautiful. I guess there’s always something new to look forward to, after all, I do get to take my kid trick-or-treating and steal his candy while he sleeps! Just keeping it positive…

The Unexpected Ding-Dong!

Ok, so it happened again tonight. A stranger came knocking at my door and I didn’t open it. I’m all cuddled up on the couch with the kiddo and the dog and “DING-DONG!” The dog jumps up towards the door, going crazy and the kid is yelling “who’s here mommy?” Of course all of the lights are on, TV is blaring, and yes, we are obviously HOME, but am I going to answer that door? HELL NO. He rings it again even, and I know he can see me sitting on the couch, but I just keep on watching TV and trying to shush the dog, cuz the hell if I’m moving...

Here are a few reasons why:

First of all, I’m in my pj’s, no bra, and um…there’s a cold draft when I open the door.

Second, unless I’m expecting someone or need to sign for my new box of shoes, then I have no reason to speak with you.

Third, I give $$ to charity without being asked, I can try to save the trees without signing your petition, and I have found my faith years ago and don’t need to justify my beliefs to a complete stranger.

Fourth, I’m scared. Ok, I don’t live in the ghetto and I know self defense, but still, the world is full of crazies and I don’t have time for you to slip your I.D. under my door so I can quick Google you and check your background before I open the door. Hello? America’s Funniest Home videos are on here…

Fifth, can a girl get some damn privacy? I hate it when my space and time are unexpectedly interrupted. It rubs me the wrong way. I have built a house with a roof, put blinds on my windows, and locks on my doors to retain a sense of calm and peace. You completely disrupt my aura with that damn DING-DONG!

Sixth, we live in a technical world people! Anything I need to know, understand, discover, or ask is just a key stroke away. If I want to find Jesus I can Google how to do so. I can read about politics online and buy cookies there as well. There is nothing that a stranger dinging my bell can offer me that I couldn’t already find myself if I wanted to. So. STEP. OFF. MY. PORCH.

Soooo unless it is Halloween or you are delivering the boxes from my online shopping binge, keep your hands off my bell. Thank-you.

Don't they have a pill for that?

It seems like every time I turn around there’s a new “pill” to fix something, prevent something, or promise to somehow make your life better. We have pills that claim to make our hair thicken, our penises grow, and our eyelashes lengthen. Pills to rid us of depression, give us energy, and increase our sex drive. Pills, pills, pills, well, here are a few things I WISH there was a pill for….

I wish there was pill called “feet heat.” For all the times when my toes are ice cold, which is basically every single day, I could simply pop a pill and within minutes my feet would get toasty warm. “Oh what’s that honey? You want the AC on even though it’s 68 degrees outside? No problem, I’ll just pop a couple “feet heat” and I’ll be fine.”

I wish there was a pill called Insta-Sleep. This would make up for those nights where you didn’t get any, sleep that is. So instead of dragging ass and overdosing on caffeine, you just pop one of these pills and it sort of makes your brain turn into a ball of energetic sunshine, as if you woke up from a long 8 hour slumber. Wouldn’t that be nice? I’d stay up so much later…

I wish there was a pill that could give people common sense. This would be for the ones who just “don’t get it” and usually look a little dazed and confused when everyone else is nodding along in understanding. Pop the pill called “Drop of Sense” and voila’, you too can have the knack of common knowledge!

I wish there was a pill to make people get to the point. Faster. I often find myself on the phone with a client that’s sloooooowly speaking, not really getting anywhere, and I often find myself waving my hands in circular motions, wishing to pry the point off their tongue. This would be a pill for those people. Perhaps it could be called “sPILL it out already!”

I reeeeaaalllly wish there was a pill to make you sober. The music is pumping, your heart is pounding, your mind is intoxicated and the adrenaline is making you feel like a warm dose of fantabulous fun…but then the inevitable moment always comes when it’s bar close and you have to somehow get from point “A” to point ”B” and it’s the fight for the cab time. UNLESS of course, you pop a pill called “Sober Roller” and poof, you got your poker face on and the alcohol evaporates like fairy dust and your brain cells perk up and the buzz slowly slips away. You get in your car and drive home without a trace of ever drinking. Love this idea. To pieces actually.

This leads to, of course, a pill that takes away the hangover. You wake up with your face smashed into a pillow, a stream of drool sliding down your cheek (if you’re lucky, it’s only drool), red eyes that feel like bowling balls of fire, a throat that’s raw and a mind that’s only half alive. Keep a bottle of “Hang-up the Hangover” on your bedside table and you only have to roll over, pop a pill and release the wish for death and hug your healthy mind. Magic is just a pill away. Of course, this would be a pill that would dissolve on your tongue for those real emergencies where there is no water available and nobody to assist you.

Wow, I could go on and on with this pill thing. A pill to make people smarter and a pill to make people turn from assholes to gentlemen, a pill to erase our wrinkles and make us young again! Come on you geniuses out there; give me a pill to make me grow taller!! Or how about change your eye color? That would be fun! OK, I could just run with this…oh and a pill to make me run faster….OK I’ll quit now before I type all night on this one :)

The Bad Girls Guide to Good Health

**This is an article that was published in SELF magazine. I found it interesting, so thought I'd share it with you! I've added my own "personal" thoughts in RED INK.



Scientists have already given their blessings to guilty pleasures such as nibbling chocolate (I have chocolate every single day or else I get cranky) (it's high in antioxidants) and sipping wine (red vino is heart-healthy). Now, studies are finding upsides to other so-called bad behaviors. Some things — like smoking or an addiction to cookies 'n' cream (I do love my ice cream so I beg to differ—there are mood altering advantages to eating it and yes I believe I am proof this) — we'd never endorse, but these six naughty habits can feel good and be good for you.
1. Getting pissed off can keep stress in check
A little anger may be a tonic for both your mind and body. (I knew that my temper tantrums and verbal expolsions had to be related to something positive!) For example, new studies suggest that riled-up people make better decisions. (So the next time you lose your cool and accidentally tell someone to go f*#k theirselves, just let them know you’re on the verge of making a very important decision so pease don’t take offense. Hmm…makes sense) And researchers at Carnegie Mellon University found that anger — as opposed to fear or anxiety — can prompt your brain to release less cortisol, the powerful stress hormone linked to problems like obesity, bone loss, and heart disease. "Traditionally, it has been difficult for women to express anger effectively, because we're 'supposed' to act nurturing and sensitive," (huh? I think I have male genetics then) says Julie K. Norem, Ph.D., author of The Positive Power of Negative Thinking. So let your ire out. Just don't go overboard; chronic rage is unproductive.



2. Downing coffee could cut your cancer risk
Coffee's most exalted attribute — energy-boosting caffeine — has nothing on its real health superpowers. Studies show that drinking daily joe may minimize your risk for Parkinson's disease, cancer, and type 2 diabetes (Ha! Finally some validation for my 16 oz. mocha icecrema with whipped cream! I always do feel muuuuch better after having one) . Why? Most chronic diseases are related to inflammation, and coffee is chock-full of anti-inflammatory compounds, says Shelley McGuire, Ph.D., an associate professor of nutrition at Washington State University. Coffee also has more antioxidants than almost any other food (is that really true? I thought beans and berries had the most antioxidants- who did this study??). Sip one to three high-octane or decaf cups a day, but make sure you steer clear of fat traps such as whipped-cream-topped lattes (Boooo! Whipped cream is the icing on the cake baby). "If you're piling on calories," warns McGuire, "you're probably wiping out the benefits."
3. Being a slob may help you breathe easier
Messy women everywhere cheered when a British study found that an unmade bed could nix in-house allergens (turns out, tucked-in sheets can offer dust mites a covered breeding area). (I always make the bed with untucked sheets= points for me!)But here's even more encouraging news for the not-so-tidy: Environmental and internal medicine expert Kenneth Rosenman, M.D., says you should focus on keeping your home reasonably clean, not entirely pristine.(Wonderful news! The dust won’t bug me as much now- or the spotted windows-yippee!) "The huge push to disinfect our homes isn't healthy," he explains. "A little messiness is OK." Zapping every germ around — including the harmless ones — can clear the way for more serious or resistant strains. Plus, certain household disinfectant sprays and air fresheners release chemicals that can heighten asthma risk. Skip spray cleaners in favor of environmentally friendly pourable ones — and don't forget that a simple clean damp cloth can do wonders.
4. Drinking beer may benefit your heart and bones
(Love where this is going already) Go ahead, crack open that brewski: (I think I will thank-you) Research indicates that beer could be an even better heart-disease fighter than red wine, says Charles Bamforth, Ph.D., a professor of food science and technology at the University of California at Davis. The refreshing stuff is made with malted barley, which happens to contain the same heart-protecting antioxidants that give red wine its good name. But beer also packs high levels of vitamin B6 (ahh...the happy vitamin), which keeps our bodies from building up homocysteine, a chemical linked to increased coronary risk. And your whole body gets a boost in the form of silica,(aka: the buzz) a compound that helps strengthen bones(so that’s what the tingling is about! But why the extra bruises in the morning? Hmmmm). Bamforth suggests sticking to one beer a day(borrr-riiiing). Look for brews made with ample pale malt and hops (i.e., pale ales), which are especially rich in silica.
5. Surfing the Internet might tune up your brain
(If that’s the case, than I am one well-tuned machine!) All that online shopping may yield more than a fab pair of heels(yessssss). A new study at the University of California at Los Angeles found that just one week of frequent Web browsing can fire up your brain's complex-reasoning hubs. "Time online may improve your ability to make decisions," says study coauthor and psychiatrist Gary Small, M.D. It's possible that the more we surf, the more efficient our brains can become at strategizing, he explains. "It's like going to the gym. (A race of the mind for bargain hunting, me likey) After a while, you can lift more weight with less effort." But scientists aren't giving i-geeks free license to click around all day and night. Take regular breaks and, adds Small, be sure to socialize with actual humans.
6. Chewing gum can keep you trim
(I have at least one piece a day) We hate to burst the bubble of etiquette watchers, but recent research shows that chomping on gum — ever so politely, of course — can improve both short- and long-term memory (scientists are still figuring out exactly why). And chewing the stuff might also help you slim down (could that be how Britney slimmed down? Hmmm), according to new research from the University of Rhode Island. Animal research suggests that frequent chewing can stimulate the brain's satiety center, which is responsible for making us feel full, says lead study author Kathleen Melanson, Ph.D., R.D. (Bonus: Her subjects also had higher energy levels.) Go with a stick of the sugar-free kind. (Hmm…a different study said that chewing gum makes you swallow air, which results in bloating, which causes gas, but isn’t that always the case with articles like this? What’s good is bad and what’s bad in good, it’s all in how you perceive it)
© 2010 Rodale Inc. All rights reserved.

A little memo to the reality TV stars:

This is a tiny little message to all The Real Housewives, Bachelor/Bachelorette wannabes, Jersey Girls, chics from The Hills, etc. You got your fame, isn’t that enough? Let me drive my point here: I like your shows, even though it’s a love/hate thing with reality TV, I still watch them as it sort of satisfies my “get-to-peek-into-people’s-lives-without-being-illegal” kind of fetish thing I have. It’s entertaining, makes me giggle, and if nothing else, makes me grateful for the life I have. How-eVer, can we please just keep it as that? Must we suddenly think we can put out a hit record, write best sellers, and come out with jewelry, make-up, and skin care lines on top of it? Ugh. Money can’t buy you everything, and there’s not a dollar in the world that can make you hit that high “C” note without hours of electronic altering. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ANYTHING MORE THAN THE REALITY STAR YOU ARE. WE are fine with you that way.

Every other Real Housewife just “happens” to decide they can sing in one season or another and I have not heard one voice that proves that singing is their hidden little forte. Hell, I can sing better than most of them, even after I’ve had a few too many cocktails and the karaoke machine isn’t spittin' the right lyrics. And skincare lines? How in the hell do you suddenly know about anti-aging? Didn’t Botox and Restalyne get your face that way? And why you still puffin’ on Marlboros behind the scenes? Is that part of your anti-wrinkle regime? It just doesn’t even make sense!

Kardashian girls, you know I love you, although I yell at the TV when you are on. Especially you, Kourtney, but it gets the ratings. However….why do you girls have to keep coming out with more and more products? You’re rolling in the dough already, have your clothing stores and fashion lines. But now we have perfumes? Self tanner? Teeth whitening pens? Quick slim diet pills? Enough already! I’m just waiting for them to come out with a scented tampon line… 3 sizes: small, medium, and large for each body type. Seriously, it wouldn’t shock me.

All this added shit people need to do once their name is known only screams “money hungry and willing to do anything to keep it rolling in.” It’s getting to be a little much. Just because you became famous through that little box called the television and people recognize your face, it does NOT mean, you can suddenly acquire the skills to pen a novel, understand how to rid acne, or design a jewelry line. Your gift is to be a “reality TV” star because people either love to hate you, enjoy watching you make mistakes and fail in love, cry over some boy, or get a kick out of your loud mouth drama. You don’t have to be anything more. I don’t want to hear you screech to the sound of a hip hop beat when your pushing 50 or watch you try and sell a tanning line when the last time I saw you in US Weekly you looked like a pale excuse for a pumpkin (a-hem Lindsey Lohan). So just stick to what you know and stop trying to make more and more money, when I’m sure you’re doing just fine as it is.

Thank you for listening. And thank you for entertaining me.