Sunday, October 14, 2012

On LIFE after DEATH

On LIFE after DEATH: A book review

Well it has been 7 months since my Mom crossed over from the physical world (or as some people would say “since my Mom died”) and it seems lately that I miss her more than ever. It never ends. This feeling of loss is inescapable. It sits on my shoulder and crawls up my throat. I choke on it. I let it out then push it down. Sometimes I just sit with it and wonder if this hollowed part of me will ever become whole again.

Time. It’s supposed to heal everything right? I believe this to be true, however I didn’t realize this whole healing thing would come in waves where you make some progress and then regress, feel at ease some days and then get attacked with emotion when you’re not looking. It’s all part of TIME. Good days, bad days, blah blah blah. The hole is still there. Some days it feels like it starts to gape open like a raw wound and even gets sprinkled with salt on occasion. So I read some good books, meditate, feel grateful for my life, cherish the memories and ever so slowly the hole starts to stitch itself back up. Then I realize that I am NEVER going to hear my Mom’s voice again and poof, the hole opens again and the process continues....

I’m doing quite well considering the fact that I’m walking around with this hole in my heart and I still manage to function in a positive and enjoyable fashion. Walking, talking, giggling, jumping about as if it’s not really there. I’m still me and appear completely whole on the outside. The insides can feel as fragile as a butterflies wing but you’d never know it by the way it’s covered up with my sturdy skeletal structure and sheet of skin to shield the heart that is ticking away with a big ol’ hole in it. That is a miracle in itself my friends!

It gets easier to walk into my parents house as time goes on. I feel my Mom’s presence so deeply when I’m there that I swear there is an energy that is trailing 2 steps behind me when I walk down the hallway. It feels GOOD. The house is exactly as it was when my Mom was still with us. Her purse still sits on the floor in the dining room where she left it. I think it will probably stay there forever getting walked over and vacuumed around for as long as the house is standing. I wonder if the 1/2 eaten cookie is still inside the pocket. I have grown to like seeing her purse sitting there. It’s comforting...like she’s still around.

The last time I went home my Dad gave me this book he read called “on LIFE after DEATH” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. I read it in one sitting. It is a phenomenal book and I would suggest it to anyone who has lost a loved one or is simply curious about death. The author has witnessed many deaths as well as interviewed hundreds of people who have died and come back to life...Yes that happens. Death is not an ending. It is merely us coming out of our cocoon into the next beautiful place.

There are so many important and healing words written within the pages of this book and the ones that stuck out the most were the ones that were highlighted (I’m assuming by my Dad) I will share them with you in hopes that you will feel compelled to read the whole book--it’s only 85 pages!

Here they are:

~The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours. This is very important to know. If you have a clear conscience and are doing your work with love, others will spit on you and try to make your life miserable.

~The greatest gift God granted man is free will. Among living beings, free will is given only to man. As such, man has the choice to use this energy in a positive or negative way.

~ If someone doesn’t like a certain truth, he will come up with a thousand arguments against it. However, again, this is his problem. One shouldn’t try to convince other people. When they die, they will know it anyway.

~What church tells little children about guardian angels is based on fact. There is proof that every human being, from his birth until his death, is guided by a spirit entity. Everyone has such a spirit guide, whether you believe it or not. Whether you are Jewish, catholic, or a member of any other religion doesn’t matter, for such love is unconditional. This is why everyone receives this gift as a spirit guide.

~In general the people that are waiting for you on the other side are the ones who loved us the most. You always meet those people first.

~After seeing the light nobody wants to come back. Here, there is understanding without judging and here you experience unconditional love. You will come to know that all your life on earth was nothing but a school that you had to go through in order to pass certain tests and learn special lessons. As soon as you have finished this school and mastered your lessons, you are allowed to go home to graduate! There is one thing everybody has to learn before he can return from where he came, and that is unconditional love. If you have learned and practiced this, you have mastered the greatest lesson of all.

~We are created for a very simple, beautiful, and wonderful life. My greatest wish is that you will start looking at life differently. If you accept life as something you were created for, then you will no longer question whose lives should be extended and whose should not.

~To live well means basically to learn to love.

~Knowledge helps, but knowledge alone is not going to help anybody. If you do not use your head and your heart and your soul, you are not going to help a single human being.

~Nothing comes to you as a negative. I mean nothing. All the trials and tribulations, the greatest losses, things that make you say “If I had know about this I would never have been able to make it through,” are gifts to you.

~Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow. The only thing you lose is something that you don’t need anymore:your physical body.

~Not one of my patients who has had an out-of-body experience was ever again afraid to die. Not one of them in all of our cases.

~You don’t have to do anything except learn to get in touch, in silence, within yourself. Get in touch with your own inner self and learn not to be afraid. One way to not be afraid is to know that death does not exist, that everything in this life has a positive purpose. Get rid of all your negativity and begin to view life as a challenge, a testing ground of your own inner resources and strength.

~I truly believe that every human being consists of a physical, an emotional, an intellectual, and a spiritual quadrant. If we can learn to externalize our unnatural emotions, our hate, our anguish, our unresolved grief, our oceans of unshed tears, then we can get back, get tuned in to what we were meant to be: a human being consisting of four quadrants, all of which work together in total harmony and wholeness.

~Death is but a transition from this life to another existence where there is no more pain and anguish. All the bitterness and disagreements will vanish and the only thing that lives forever is LOVE. So love each other NOW, for we never know how long we will be blessed with the presence of those who gave us LIFE- no matter how imperfect many a parent has been.


*The hole in my heart contracted a little by the time I finished typing this blog.  We will see what tomorrow brings... :)

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Every day is a good day~

Today and every day, I will never dwell on my minor aches and pains and petty disappointments. I will not think of the day as horrible or of people as unkind. Ever. I will not feel sorry for myself or wallow about things that won’t matter a day from now and I will NOT under any circumstances ever classify my moments on earth as a “bad day” so long as I am greeted with the warm faces of my family when I get home and retire to a cozy bed at night.

Why?

Because somewhere in this world it is 100% guaranteed that there is another person who is worse off than me. There is no doubt that someone is carrying a heavier load, grieving a greater loss or crying one more tear than me. Somebody has more cracks in their heart and more scars in their mind than me. Someone is always having a harder day in this big old world and nothing can ever compare to any difficulty I may think I am going through...

Someone this very second is being told they have a terminal disease and they haven’t even reached their 10th birthday. The world stopped for a second and a heart broke.

This very moment someone is opening their eyes in a hospital bed and when the doctor asks them if they know their name, they can only respond with a lingering blank stare, an answer that will never come, and a loved one that is sitting beside them who felt like every drop of hope just dripped out of their soul.

Somewhere in this world there is a child screaming from hunger and a mother who is powerless to change it.

Homes are lost. Every day. Jobs are lost every day. Trust is lost every day. Loved ones are lost. Every single day.

Right now there is an expectant mother who’s hearing the words “I’m sorry. We can’t find a heartbeat” and she refuses to believe it. And then she knows it’s true. And slowly her heart crumbles.

Someone just got the knock on their door, the letter in the mail, or the call on the phone and they know a loved one has died. Unexpectedly. They are in that state of electrifying shock that makes you feel like a lightning bolt is stretching from your spine to your fingertips.

Right now someone in this world stepped on a nail while barefoot. Somewhere out there someone just had their hand get closed in a car door. Someone is stuck in a burning building. Someone has a gun to their head.

Someone is seeing something that will scar them for the rest of their lives...

Over 24 people were killed today by a drunk driver. Their families struggle to understand.

Women across the globe were raped today. In some countries this is "normal" everyday behavior.

Right now a mother is wondering whether her child will die of an overdose. She hasn’t slept in days.




Someone right now is taking a breath and not knowing whether the inhale will indeed turn into an exhale. They know they are dying and it is beyond their control. It slowly breaks the hearts of many and is never something you think would happen to you.

There is nothing worth complaining about, dwelling on, or regretting about a day that you can reach the end of and know that a fresh one will greet you in the morning. It’s all about those 24 hour increments. You survive that way. One day at a time. One breath at a time.

To savor each day is the only gift we can give to ourselves and it’s free. Enjoying the little moments that can make our heart dance if just for a second can be worth whatever price you put on it. The good things in life will always outweigh the bad so as long as you choose to focus on them. What you deem to be of value and what price you put on your happiness is up to YOU. If you can acknowledge the blessings in whatever it is that exists in the here and now and see the joy in what you have left in this life then you are doing just fine. You have a another day to feel grateful for and another tomorrow to anticipate and that is all you need for life to be worthwhile.



Sunday, September 9, 2012

Life-Change-Acceptance-Forgiveness: Piecing it all together

LIFE. It’s all about learning how to love people unconditionally while they are here and release them valiantly when it is their time to go. To be able to love with all your might and let go with every ounce of grace you can goes hand in hand. We are not meant to be on this planet forever. We are not meant to hold hands with other physical beings forever, see the same eyes forever, exchange the same words and relish in the same thoughts forever.

Every day we must anticipate CHANGE.

Change. It can feel like a slap in the face sometimes yet is the one constant in life along with death and taxes. We have to roll with it or risk being run over by pushing against it. It comes in waves, sometimes storms. It can go against the grain, and yet we need to be able to catch onto the wings of change and somehow keep afloat. Compromise with multiple angles and adhere if we want to survive. Stay sane. Allow our minds to grow forward, up, and out into a bubble of optimism.

Breathe in with serenity and breathe out with ACCEPTANCE.

Acceptance. It is never about what we think it’s about. We think we need to learn how to understand other people and their mindsets, their opinions, their faults, their struggles and it has nothing to do with that. Acceptance is within YOU. Once you have that grandiose understanding of who you are, what you’re about and take a fine tooth comb through your own emotions until you can grasp that intricate little piece of YOU that you’ve been struggling to understand. Only then will you understand that acceptance of others comes naturally once you have reached the root of what YOU are all about.

It is about loving yourself unconditionally and understanding the art of FORGIVENESS.

Forgiveness. It has nothing to do with apologies and forgetting the wrong that has been done to you. It has to do with loving yourself enough to do RIGHT to your soul. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself. You have to love yourself enough to let go of anger. Respect yourself enough to know your own worth. You don’t deserve the doubt, the regret, the wonder of trying to figure out everyone's baggage. Their wrong doing is not your burden to bear. Love and let go. Realize the reward of an honorable conscience and a well rounded heart. And so continues the journey of LIFE.



Monday, September 3, 2012

Can't get enough of these yummy balls :)






I love getting creative with energy bites and home-made granola bar recipes! This is my version of the “perfect” mix of protein, omega fat, fiber, and anti-oxidants rolled together in a little ball of sweetness. The maca powder adds a hint of butterscotch and nuttiness and the mild crunch of the chia seeds makes the texture unique and adds a punch of anti oxidants and calcium. These little suckers are addicting!


~Nutritious and delicious Energy balls~

1 cup dry oats (I use a mix of steel cut and old fashioned oats)
1/2 cup ground flaxseeds
2/3 cups organic coconut flakes
1 1/2 tbsp. Navita’s Naturals chia seeds
2 tbsp. Navita’s Naturals Raw Maca powder
1/2 cup roughly chopped 80% cacao chocolate (I use Ghiradelli)
1 cup peanut butter (I use MaraNatha organic)
1/3 cup organic honey
1 tsp. vanilla

Method: Stir all of the ingredients together until blended. Chill in the refrigerator for at least 1/2 hour to firm up. Roll into golf ball size bites and store in the fridge. Enjoy!!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Just a lil' blog about equality, hypocrites, and nasty chicken sandwiches

If you’ve peeked at the news at all lately you’d know that the CEO of Chick-fil-A restaurants has willingly put his foot in his mouth when admitting his distaste for same sex marriage and stating that he’s for the biblical form of family unions. Obviously, since this is a country divided by politics, women and men are on the edge of their seats just waiting for the next controversial remark to slide off of a citizen’s tongue in order to let chaos ensue and protests run rampage in an effort to fight for their rights and beliefs. CEO, Dan Cathy holds his ground. He’s a christian after all and well, they just don’t believe in the actions of same sex love, according to him.
Free speech or not, it’s probably not wise to state that you and your company are against same sex unions unless you intend to spark some major protests and risk a quick boycott on your business. On the other hand, those who support his position are lined up at the door ready to proudly purchase their fat ridden sandwiches and milk shakes as a way to condone his right to free speech and agree with his statements. Things are never really about what they’re about, there’s always underlining issues and emotions that make people do the things they do, in this case it’s whether or not to purchase a chicken sandwich based on a remark by the CEO.

Some people support the fact that Dan Cathy had the balls to stand up for what he believes to be right and some people want to cut off his balls for saying it, either way people are all fired up...which leads me to question: Should this guy get a bad rap for stating what (unfortunately) other people in the world are (still) thinking? Well yes I suppose. If you’re going to say something you have to be willing to take the multitude of backlash that comes along with it, you open yourself up to the barrage of opinions and supposedly “unholy” like relationships that (like it or not) exist in the world today. The good, the bad, and the ugly will trail after every word you speak, especially if you announce it to where the world will hear it.

It is 2012 people, times have changed things. This isn’t just about whether or not someone condones your sexual choices. It is about equality. It is about rights. It is about humanity, civil decency, and respect to our fellow citizens. This is how people fight for their liberty in 2012. You make a comment about being anti-gay and it will not get brushed off people’s shoulders. It’s not always about what the bible says to be right or wrong, if you’re going to bring out the good ol’ Leviticus 18:22 verse that states “thou shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination,” then you better also follow everything else that the bible says you are not to do unless you'd like to risk looking like a hypocrite.

For example, Leviticus 19:27 states, “Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of they beard.” (Hmm...Dan Cathy has a shaved head and no facial hair. Is he disobeying God’s command?) Leviticus 19:28 states “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.”(Hmm...Dan Cathy has his own motorcycle gang called Moo Cow bikers and has been quoted saying: “I think we all need more friends with tattoos, ponytails and earrings!”)  I could go all day with this but you get my point here!

I am not anti bible and I am not anti-God. I believe that whether you are straight, gay, tranny, bi-tri, purple, spotted, unicorned, what the hell ever, sleep with whomever and buy what you want and marry who you choose to, as long as you do not hurt anyone else by doing it that is OK by me. WE are equal. But hey, since I’m on a bible verse role here, let’s whip out a few more shall we? Make your brain like a sponge and absorb them please:

Corinthians 3:16
"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."

Genesis 1:29
And God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food."

Proverbs 21:21 
He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.

Proverbs 15:17 
Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.

By the way, this is the first blog that I have ever quoted bible verses! I don’t obsess over all of it’s hidden meanings and rules, but I only stated these things because:
Every Christian in support of Dan Cathy who is against gay marriage needs to know that they are appearing to be a hypocrite if they stand in line for their Chik-Fil A sandwich in an effort to back his statements. Why you ask? Well for starters, God intended for us to live, eat, and survive off of the earth, hence his “seed.” He did not state anything in the Bible about consuming monosodium glutamate (MSG) which is one of the main ingredients in the sandwich. So if you point your finger at the gays and say they’re living in sin, well so are you my friend. Fix your diet. You should be treating your body like a temple and honoring your physical and moral self.  Eating chemically laced foods is in violation of God’s will. You should not be poisoning your body. Your gift of life is being invaded by toxins with every bite from Chik-Fil- A. Yes it is. Here are the ingredients in their sandwich:
• monosodium glutamate (twice!)
• soybean oil
• sodium aluminum phosphate
• dimethylpolysiloxane (an anti-foaming chemical) <---that’s a filler in breast implants!
• high fructose corn syrup <----GAH! Don't even get me started on this one!
• ammonium sulfate
• soy lecithin
• sodium benzoate
• polysorbate 80
• yellow 5
• blue 1
• potassium sorbate
• TBHQ
The longer list can be found below:
http://www.chick-fil-a.com/Food/Menu-Detail/ChickfilA-Chicken-Sandwich#?details=ingredients

If you claim to follow the teachings of Christ and yet practice gluttony and willingly eat things that are toxic you are living a lie and will go to hell. Right? If you claim to be a Christian but do not practice good nutrition, all the prayer in the world will not save you from disease, diabetes, and Alzheimer's. You are abusing your temple and God helps those who help themselves. Clean your body and clean your mind. Fast food is toxic to your temple and you are disrespecting God when you disrespect your body.
Seriously though, doesn’t this whole battle of gay rights vs. chicken sandwiches seem a bit ridiculous? If you’re that worked up over his comments just stop eating his unhealthy sandwiches. You’ll outlive the guy and his asinine thoughts won’t matter anyway! Let the supporters of his restaurant clog their arteries and get fat. Wake up!! Quit being programmed like a robot to eat this junk just because a commercial glamorizes it by having a gorgeous set of red lips tease you into eating it. You are smarter than that!
I think I’ll go eat some fruit and fuel my temple now. In closure: Eat to live, don’t live to eat. Love yourself and you will learn to love all others. Don’t get your panties in a bunch over all this chaos --stupid people say stupid shit all the time, we just don’t hear about it. Acceptance of same sex relationships is just around the corner and if you stop eating drug laced Chick-fil A sandwiches you may still be alive to see it.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Lookey what I made ~~~







I did it! I created something yummy and somewhat good for you using things I had in the cupboard plus a creative imagination...and hot damn the thing actually turned out!  For once I actually wrote down and measured the things I added so that I can no longer say “Oh I just threw some stuff together” when someone asks me for the recipe. So here it is, I think I’ll call it .....

“GOOEY COOKIE PIE”

Ingredients:
1 15 oz. can garbanzo beans
1 15 oz. can butter beans
1 cup organic oats
1/2 cup applesauce (unsweetened)
3 tbsp. coconut oil
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. celtic sea salt
1 1/2 cups coconut palm sugar (I use nativa’s naturals)
1 cup ghiradelli 60% cacao chocolate chips

Mix it all together (except the chocolate chips) and blend up well in a food processor. Stir in the chocolate chips. Use coconut oil to grease a glass pie baking dish and pour in the batter. Cook at 350 for 35 minutes and let it cool for 10 minutes before devouring.

Mmmmm...... I think this may be gone by morning. Love it.




Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A little random chant about life :)


The quality and enjoyment of your life has NOTHING to do with where you live but HOW you choose to live.

It has nothing to do with how many people you know, but how well you actually know yourself.

It has nothing to do with how much money you have, but whether you earned it in an honorable fashion.

It has nothing to do with how big your home is, but how big your heart is.

It has nothing to do with how much you know about the details of others peoples lives, but how much you truly care to discover about your own.

It has nothing to do with how expensive the car is that you drive, but how worthy the driver is of the car.

It has nothing to do with where you came from but where you plan to take yourself, how you plan to get there, and the amount of integrity you dedicate to following the path you set.

It has nothing to do with who thinks what about you, but how much time you care to dedicate to the opinion of others.

It has nothing to do with circumstance and everything to do with creating your own destiny.

It has nothing to do with “could have been” or “should have done”, but everything to do with “Today I will” and “Now I can.”

It has nothing to do with the past, everything to do with the present. It has nothing to do with what was, but what CAN BE.

It has nothing to do with the possessions in your life, but the people in your life. It has nothing to do with those you chose to forget and everything to do those worth remembering.

It has nothing to do with worry, regret, and grudges for they should drop away as easy as the sunset. It has EVERYTHING to do with gratitude, forgiveness, and LOVE.